Is your guy an underachiever? You know, he's the guy who perpetually has no plans and no money? When you met him, you thought you could help him, inspire him to greatness and believe in him. Now, you feel unhappy, used and abused. Underachievers seem like harmless, romantic, misunderstood guys but that's far from the truth. They can wreck you upward mojo and drag you down into underachiever-land with them. If this describes your guy consider these four reasons for leaving.
You lowered the standard - and it keeps dropping. There was a time when you had standards but now they are firmly in the rear view mirror. Prior to dating the underachiever you would never go out of the house wearing sweatpants, now it has become your uniform. The idea of floating a check or missing a payment was crazy before but now it has become a way of life. Get out now! His underachieving vibe has rubbed off on you. It's time to return to sanity and grown up living. Say goodbye.
He wants to trap you into marriage. He knows you are unhappy with him but decides to play the trump card; he asks you to marry him. Run as far away as you can. Marriage will not magically change the underachiever, nor will it make you happy. All marriage will do is move you permanently into the "broke" and "embarrassed" categories.
Your bank account is empty. You had a nice nest egg, now it's gone. Showering him with gifts, paying his rent, meeting his needs - all these financial activities cost money. If you give everything and he gives nothing you need to leave. Waiting for his big ideas to get found or his lawsuit to come is not a strategy for life. Get, while the getting is good. (That's 70s talk for leave, quickly.)
He has isolated you from friends and family. Your family is so exasperated with you that they refuse to talk about him. He's so insecure (typically underachiever attitude) that he can't stand your friends. Mom and Dad don't like him so you've put some space between you. Listen to your friends and family - they love you. If he's isolating you from the people you love you need to leave. This is not healthy, normal behavior. End it before the separation becomes too extreme.
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