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    5 myths about cheaters

    If you've ever heard, "Baby, let me explain," or "Come on, girl, don't be like that!" then chances are, you've chatted with a cheater. You have to admire their cheating spirit. It is never his fault; it is someone else's, maybe even yours. When your heart hurts, it's difficult to make tough decisions, like booting him out or cutting him off. This is especially true if this is the first incident. Well, that you know of, anyway. My dating tenure has taught me more than I ever wanted to learn about cheaters. I'm here to bust some myths about cheaters and give you the truth!

    He's misunderstood. Nobody can possibly know what he has been through. He wasn't hugged enough as child or his last girlfriend cheated on him. Better still, he says he cheats to keep everyone way; he doesn't want to get hurt. This guy thinks he's complicated but we know what he's all about -- cheating!

    I can change him. This is the number one myth we tell ourselves. I can be the one. Everyone knows he hops from bed to bed and has a track record of infidelity; however, you are up to the challenge. Your undying love is the catalyst that will transform him from a zero to hero. Stop right there! Don't delude yourself, girlfriend. This is the same myth all the others believed. It's a trap! Run from cheaters.

    He's sorry he cheated. Ask yourself this tough question and answer honestly, "Is he sorry he cheated or sorry he got caught cheating?" Sorrow for cheating doesn't spontaneously appear when you're banging on the door of the motel room. Real sorrow is proven when hw confesses without discovery or talks about his feelings before he does cheat.

    He'd never cheat on me. OK, special girl. Believe that one. If you know he cheats and still insists he won't do be unfaithful now because you're superior, then you'll get what you deserve. Cheaters don't cheat because their current girlfriends are _____ (ugly, fat, mean -- you fill in the blank.) They cheat because they don't have any regard for their lover's feelings.

    I'll know if he's unfaithful. Maybe you will and maybe you won't. I'll admit that small still voice inside me rarely lets me down but I'm not omnipresent. If he's a good pretender, and even the most hapless guy can be, he could pull the wool over your eyes. If he's been unfaithful before, he's likely to do it again, only smarter this time.

    I hate to be the bearer of bad news but don't poke your head in the sand when dealing with a cheater. You can overcome infidelity but don't be blind about his cheating ways.

    More from this contributor:

    How to have a healthy breakup

    5 things best friends should never do

    Bad first date ideas

     

    10 comments

    • Anit  •  2 months ago
      once a cheater always a cheater... even if he marries someone he will still alawys cheat... because being married multiple times just proves that getting divorced is not a big deal.
    • native sunshine  •  2 months ago
      I do think it's a little funny that the words "Him and He" are the words chosen, but it's coming from the female standpoint of cheaters. I know alot of female cheaters that are every bit as bad as their men.....
      • Tom 2 months ago
        She should have kept it gender neutral by using the words "they". Because if you only associate that type of behavior over and over with one gender it leaves the impression that is predominantly that gender's problem. By constantly saying he or she people will automatically associate that behavior with one group.

        That is why women and men both form opinions about the other based on who does most of the talking. That's one of the reasons in the other post "myths men believe about women" and the first one "what women believe about men" seem true to them as they are usually venting or discussing those issues among the same gender and mostly seeing it from that perspective. It's much easier to empathize with somebody who shares your same values and demonize one who is different.

        BTW, I don't have your email anymore, lost that account and everything in it. My email is listed in my profile.
    • Wendell L.  •  , US Virgin Islands  •  2 months ago
      According to Monica, only men cheat
    • The Prisoner  •  2 months ago
      What kind of cheatin' we talkin' 'bout; cards, golf, taxes? Oh, sex, well, if he ain't gitten it at home, there's always your sister. If he's cheatin' on the first three, then he's a real cheater.
    • Megan  •  Minneapolis, Minnesota  •  2 months ago
      It looks like 60% of men are completely undateable.
    • ler  •  2 months ago
      What's funny about this is that I have seen question boards where women who cheated will ask for advice and almost every woman will say that as long as the woman is "sorry" about cheating, which the woman claims that she is, that she should not tell her husband because it would "be unfair to him." As if they are doing him a favor by lying to him.
    • REB  •  Daytona Beach, Florida  •  2 months ago
      Baby, let me e-splain. The cage at the zoo is large and since I'm the BIG monkey, I can have free reign of all the females in the cage. Just look at Dark Days in Monkey City on Animal Planet. Do the Humpty - Do the Humpty Hump.
    • NeikosGirl  •  2 months ago
      It's nobody's fault for the cheating but the Cheater! The Cheater can say what they want but it is what it is. I think the Cheaters use excuses to try and make themselves feel less guilty for what they've done. And I agree with Andrea, people need to start taking responsibilties for their own actions and stop trying to make excuses for everything...
    • Pisces Woman  •  Seattle, Washington  •  2 months ago
      I can't believe people tell themselves this. Maybe they are just in denial.
    • Andrea  •  Boynton Beach, Florida  •  2 months ago
      "It's your fault" they cheated. People need to start taking responsibilities for their actions. You can't make anyone do something they don't want to do (legally).
      • Tom 2 months ago
        Well I am certainly glad your taking responsibility and recognizing it's your fault. I thought you would never say it. Sorry I couldn't resist the way you worded that.
      • Andrea 2 months ago
        I've never cheated on anyone in my entire life :). However, I have been cheated on and it sucks (not in a good way) lol.

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