My seven-month-old has six teeth and is already trying to pull to a stand. Pretty soon, he won't be a baby anymore. With my daughter entering preschool, it seems like a long time since I had my first baby. I am no longer a new mom. Yet, I remember having my first baby and how it completely changed my life. As a parent, each day is filled with joy, surprises and, often, exhaustion. Moms, especially new moms, can feel unattractive and fatigued. For some, there is pressure to be the perfect mom. Sometimes, people can make comments to moms that are thoughtless, intrusive or downright rude. While moms should expect to hear questions about the baby's sleeping and eating habits, here are some nice things to say to a new mother.
You look great!
I'm sure there is a small percentage of women whose uterus shrinks back to normal a week after having a baby. However, for most of us, that isn't the case. It can be hard to still look pregnant after already having a baby. While you shouldn't lie to a new mom, you can point out the positive. You could mention that a mom's skin looks luminous (from all those prenatal vitamins). Of course, if a mom has lost the baby weight make sure to take notice.
Do you need anything?
I was thinking back to the days before I had children. Although I had a full-time job, most days I had time to work out, watch TV and eat dinner at a leisurely pace. Now, with two children, life is very hectic. When you have a brand new baby, it's hard for a new mom to find time to take a shower or clean the house. Stopping by with some dinner or a package of diapers can make any new parent less frazzled. Your friend may not take you up on your offer but at least you extended the invitation.
I'm here for you.
Simply letting a mom know that you are there to listen or talk is helpful. Sometimes, new mothers feel emotional. For this reason, listen without trying to judge or belittle a person's experience.
What a __________ baby!
It's easy to find something nice to say about a baby. Those innocent eyes, sweet smile and tiny toes are just a miracle. What a beautiful baby! Your baby is so alert! Most parents don't tire from hearing compliments about their children.
You're a good mom!
There is no such thing as a perfect mom. However, most people I know try their hardest to be good parents. Even if I have a different parenting philosophy than some of my mom friends, I can appreciate their "super mommy" powers.
Don't make any of these comments unless they are genuine. And, if you can't think of something nice to say, don't say anything at all.