Sometimes seeking marriage counseling is a big step in a relationship. For some of us, it is the unknown or even owning up to our own notions of failure. It should not, however, be thought of like that. Consider it in terms of helping you to seek out a healthier relationship and life. We all know marriage impacts our mental and physical being. If you are at the stage of considering marriage counseling, then it is probably time to do it. Take the necessary action needed to begin healing your relationship. When considering marriage counseling, there are a number of things you should avoid.
1. Are you seeking marriage counseling for the right reasons?
Avoid seeking counseling as a way to make your partner realize how wrong they are and how right you are. Counseling should not be undertaken to show your partner how much they need to change. A relationship takes two. Don't go into it waiting for the big apology. What matters is that you work together to overcome problems and move forward.
2. The marriage counselor is not a miracle worker.
Marriage counselors are there to facilitate the process. They will arm you with the tools. Their suggestions will enable you and your partner to overcome the problems. Remember, they are not the ones in the marriage. It is ultimately up to you and your partner to follow recommendations and put in the effort. You need to avoid thinking that the counselor will wave some magic wand.
3. Don't seek counseling if you are not willing to modify your behavior.
Usually, if something is not working, it requires a modification of what and how we are doing it. This includes our relationships. Avoid thinking that you won't have to do anything different. If you are not prepared to put the effort in, it is probably best that you don't seek counseling in the first place.
4. Avoid pushing your partner into marriage counseling.
Pushing your partner into marriage counseling will not help the process. There are two people in a marriage. If the other person is not willing to work at it, forget it.
5. Avoid thinking that any marriage counselor will be fine.
You should choose a counselor that is the right fit for you and your partner. Someone that you are both comfortable with. If not, counseling will be less effective. Choose a professional. Qualifications are important. If they weren't, you could have just hired your best friend. There are: Licensed Clinical Social Workers (L.C.S. W); licensed professional counselors/mental health counselors (L.P.C. or L.M.H.C); Master of Social Work (M.S.W); Marriage, Family and Child Counselors (M.F.C.C.); and, Marriage and Family Therapists (M.F.T).
Seeking marriage counseling could be the best thing you ever do for your marriage.
When considering counseling, avoid pre-conceived notions and self-defeating actions. Be sure to make the most of it.