I can't explain how many times I've heard women say "He doesn't even care we broke up. He's fine with it." In many cases, it's pretty surprising how far from the truth that is. I've always had quite a few guy friends and acquaintances and I've seen them go through several heartbreaks. They may hide it well, but many take the breakup just as bad as women, if not worse. One of the reasons is that while women typically cry and vent to their friends, guys tend to hold it all in. So what exactly do some guys do after a particularly upsetting breakup?
They repeatedly check their phones
After a breakup, many guys repeatedly check their phones to see if the woman texted or called. Some will also keep making sure they're not in a no service area by restarting their phone, moving around or waving the phone in the air. One guy friend kept doing it so often he gave me his phone to hold onto so he wouldn't keep checking it.
They get physical
By physical, I don't mean jumping into bed with a woman. If you notice your very recent ex has been working out lately like a fiend, it's not necessarily because he's trying to get in shape to pick up a new woman. Many guys will do some hardcore workouts after a breakup - they'll attack a punching bag, constantly go for runs or lift weights at the gym.
I'll never forget when a guy friend who hasn't cried since he was a kid started shedding a few tears in front of me after a breakup. Usually they won't do it in front of someone unless it's completely involuntary, but it does happen. Yes, there are even guys who, behind closed doors, go into full-blown sobs.
They get rid of your items/gifts
One of the most common reactions a guy has after a breakup is to put on a show for you to make you think he doesn't care. Getting rid of your items or gifts you gave him is one of the easiest ways he can do this. Some guys also panic after realizing they overreacted and that they got rid of items they really wanted to keep for sentimental reasons. In some cases, he'll get rid of the items in a dramatic fashion to make it even worse for you. A friend called me in tears one day because her ex asked that she pick up her items from his place. When she showed up, he opened the window and chucked the box out of it.
They go out constantly
Don't think just because you see your most recent ex going out all the time that he's having a fantastic time. Many go out just to keep themselves busy and also to make you think they're doing fine. However, after a bunch of drinks, there are quite a few who get mopey and start reminiscing about the relationship.
Even though you may not wish hurt on your ex, sometimes you just want to know he feels just as strongly about losing the relationship as you do. If you're going through a breakup, don't assume that your ex isn't feeling just as badly as you are and don't assume he doesn't care.
More from Lauren R: