The subject of your ex is going to come up at some point in your relationship and it's in your best interest to make sure what's said is going to have favorable results. Some just want to be honest, they want their current boyfriend to do something their ex used to do, or the comment just slips out, but regardless of how it happened, there's definitely a line you don't want to cross. Although there are those who think their boyfriend can take it and it's not a big deal, you might be surprised at the impact a single comment could have. Certain comments about your ex are just better left unsaid if you want to avoid any problems.
My ex had no problem doing ____
When your boyfriend doesn't do something you want him to, like go to brunch with you Sunday mornings or put the toilet seat down, the worst thing to tell him that your ex had no problem doing it. It sounds like you're trying to make him feel bad, throwing your ex in his face and giving him a guilt trip him all in one comment. Besides, you want him to do it on his own accord, not because he's trying to compete with what your ex used to do.
My ex used to do the same thing
Whether you're referring to something bad or good, saying this comment will likely only have bad consequences. When referencing something bad, all your guy is going to hear is that you're comparing something negative he did to something negative your ex used to do -- it's almost like a slap in the face. When your boyfriend does something good and you tell him your ex used to do the same thing, that gesture is no longer his own and "special" because he knows you already associate it with your ex. Even if your ex surprised you the same way a thousand times before, treat what your boyfriend does as if it's the first time.
He was a fantastic boyfriend
Your guy isn't stupid -- he knows your ex had good aspects about him or you wouldn't have dated him in the first place, but he doesn't need to know just how fantastic you think he was as a boyfriend. If your guy asks what your ex was like, even if he was as close to perfect as one could get, tell him he had good and bad aspects just like everyone else.
My family and friends loved him
It's nerve-wracking enough for your guy to impress your family and friends, but knowing they loved your ex is going to make things a lot worse. When he meets them, he's going to be thinking about how they're comparing your ex to him and his nerves will make him feel like he'll never measure up. Rather than talk about your ex, give your guy a break and explain that you're sure your family and friends will love him.
He's really good looking
Even if your ex is a model, your boyfriend doesn't need to hear how hot you think the he is. Most guys -- including your boyfriend -- are perfectly aware when another guy is attractive even if they won't admit it. Compliment your boyfriend and let him know how good looking you think he is before he even makes a comment about it.
No two people are exactly alike and, although your ex and boyfriend might be similar in some ways, it's unfair to compare the two, especially when you make your guy aware you're doing it. No one wants to feel like they're competing with someone from your past or present. Once you're with your boyfriend, focus on the present and what he does and refrain from bringing up your ex at all costs.
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