Having expectations is one of the major ways many get hurt while dating. Think about how many times you felt disappointed, hurt and upset when things didn't work out the way you expected they would. The two major expectations I hear about most about from women are that they think a date went well and expected to see the guy again but didn't and when they expected they would be seeing and hearing from a guy more often than they actually do. Forget all the trouble! There are several ways to let go of dating expectations and save yourself at least some heartache.
Pay attention to actions
The guy can tell you all he wants how attracted he is to you and how much he likes you, but if he's not putting in the actions behind it, those words are exactly that - just words. Don't get so hooked on what he says that you get your hopes up and expect things are going to go in one direction when he has something different in mind. Actions hold a lot more weight.
Take things day by day
One mistake many women make, especially in the beginning of a relationship, is that they meet a guy they like and they start building up all these expectations about what things are going to be like in a week, in a month, even in a year. This can completely get your heart in some trouble. Avoid forming expectations about what's going to happen so far in advance and just let things play out day by day.
Understand everyone is different
Just because you act one way doesn't mean the guy you're dating is going to act the same. Guys are obviously quite different from women, but everyone is different from each other anyway. Don't expect that he's going to text you back immediately just because you would for him or that he'll give you little surprises every other day just because that's what an ex did for you. Either lose the expectations and accept that your guy is not going to act the same way as you or consider moving on to someone else.
Know that you can only control yourself
One of the biggest ways I was able to let go of dating expectations is really grasping the idea that I can only control what I do and not what someone else does. This means that I can hope a guy is going to ask me out again or call, but I can't expect that it's going to happen because it will often lead to a different outcome. Have expectations for yourself and your own actions, but when it comes to a guy you're dating, you're better off keeping them extremely limited.
Date multiple men
When you meet a guy you like, it's easy to focus on him and only him, but that's one of the worst things you can do. You start to put expectations on the relationship and if things don't work out, it can hurt like hell and you're left confused and wondering what happened. You're better off dating multiple guys until you get to the point where both you and one of the guys decide to become exclusive.
The best way to let go of dating expectations is to just let things play out naturally. Don't over-think things he says and does and don't assume something is going to happen in your relationship just because he says it will or you assume it will. It's easy to believe what he says simply because you really want to, but the less expectations you have, the better off your heart (and mind) will be.
More from Lauren R:
Tips for getting over the one that got away
Is he using you? 5 signs to watch out for
