Every once in a while, I take a good hard look at my relationship with my husband and realize we've got some distance between us. It's not because we're angry, annoyed, or sick of each other. It's because in our busy life - between our jobs, our house, and our baby - we often forget to concentrate on each other. Fortunately, when moments like that come along in relationships, there are simple, easy ways to reconnect and breathe some new life into a relationship that's growing distant over time.
Do some cuddling
When I'm feeling distant from my spouse, it takes a big act of will to initiate some cuddling, but it never fails to make me feel closer to him. There's something about the act of surrendering myself in his embrace that reminds me what we mean to each other. Not to mention that cuddling actually releases hormones that make people feel bound together.
Sometimes when I'm feeling distant from my spouse, it's because I've lost sight of who we are and where we came from. Looking at pictures, watching our wedding video, or just talking about old memories with him often rejuvenates me. It's somewhat magical to realize we are the same people we were back then, having come so far and been through so much with him by my side.
Put him first
Doing something kind and unexpected for my spouse helps me reconnect with him when I'm feeling distant - things like baking him cookies, taking on an extra cleaning task that's been hanging over his head, or rubbing his feet when he gets home from work. Not only does this make him happy, it also makes me feel like I'm experiencing what love is really all about - selflessly serving each other.
Set aside distractions
Even as I type, we have a movie playing and my husband and I are sitting at opposite ends of our couch. On the other hand, some of our best moments have been when we've set aside our electronics and other distractions and just talked over dinner or done something productive together. Even just looking at each other can work wonders sometimes. It amazes me how little we make eye contact - our eyes are always on something else in this busy world.
Do something new
As I wrote in another article, "If you feel like something is missing in your relationship, it's probably because you've stopped building each other up as people..." Relationships aren't meant to be two people staying stagnant. They're meant to be a safe place for two people to grow, develop, change, and challenge each other. Right now, getting out of debt is our "hobby," if you will, and adjusting our entire lifestyle together has really breathed new life into our relationship.
Say something sweet
On holidays and birthdays, my husband will often come home with a sweet card and write a personal message inside. Those cards mean the world to me and make me feel reconnected with him. Sometimes, we get so wrapped up in our daily lives that we forget to voice our love and appreciation. Saying those things aloud or writing them down - even a basic "I love you" or "thank you" - can be game-changers in a distant relationship.
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