3:1 in Wayne's favour

Well, Wayne isn't the only one who bogs the ute around here. I managed to do it too.

This is how it happened: We took the dogs out into the paddock with Wally as we looked over the mess-that-will-one-day-be-a-stable. The poodles ran around, chasing rabbits and kicking up their heels when suddenly they shot off up the track side by side, looking for all the world like the Great Escape in stereo.

We looked at their disappearing tails, looked at eachother and agreed 'They'll be back'. But time passed and they didn't come back and I started to worry. I had visions of white poodles prancing over the manicured lawns belonging to the neighbour behind us... ok. I pictured them chasing the jack russells they own. Not so bad. Then I pictured them chasing the goats on the property further up...

That's when I decided to take the ute and drive up and see if I could find them.

It sounded like a good idea at the time. SuperZefi to the rescue!


I drove up the neighbour's road (cause our ford has collapsed - that was money well spent!), drove through a fallen wattle tree and up the track. And there they were. Probably on their way home. And not as dirty as I had feared. Loaded them in the car and drove up to find a spot to turn around.

And promptly bogged the ute.

Then me and the poodles walked home.

Wayne was very smug when he saw us arrive back on foot, minus the ute. hmph. He's still ahead by 2 bog episodes!

So Wayne grabbed the shovel and walked up to get it. He came back eventually. In the ute. But when he got out he was limping. Turns out I'd bogged the ute right over a jack jumper nest*. He kneeled down to check out the situation and WHAM, his knee was lunch. There was nowhere for him to kneel to dig out the back tyres without disturbing some already very irate ants.

Since then he's been telling everyone I went up there and drove all over the clearing looking for a nest just so I could bog the ute on top of it.

*Jack Jumpers are some pretty nasty bull ants native to Australia.


Nasty critters. They won't go around you if you're in their way, they just bite you and you move pronto.

It reminds me of when I first moved to Tasmania, to my house in Fentonbury. I decided that I needed to do some gardening out in the side yard, plant some pretty flowers outside the guest bedroom window. The ground was uneven, with what looked like a couple of mounds in the dirt. I did what any self respecting gardener would do, I took out the mattock and leveled them.

Then leapt back as the jack jumpers swarmed out in anger at being disturbed!

I told my neighbours Chris and Lesley all about it. Chris said "I have the solution. Take this," and handed me a container of what I now realise was some deadly mix of oil, kerosene and rocket fuel "wait till dusk, pour this into the nest and light it. That will take care of them."

Well... I don't feel guilty about trying to eradicate creepy crawlies, especially ones that bite. So out I went, container in one hand, matches in the other. I carefully poured the entire contents of the container down the hole, lit a match and leapt back as the flames when WHOOMP out in a circle about 3 metres in diameter.

I've never moved so fast in my life!

I kept an eye on the fire as it burned. It burned almost all night!

Needless to say, I got rid of the jack jumper problem in my yard.

Anyway, now the swelling and stinging has gone Wayne's talking to me again.

z