Appreciate each other.
Do you feel like your relationship isn't quite what it used to be? To help you revive your relationship, we've reviewed a serious body of research to bring you the 10 most powerful, scientifically proven ways to improve virtually any relationship. These tips also happen to be the key ingredients that go into making a good relationship work, so even if you think everything's great, you can use this list as a diagnostic tool to make sure you and your partner are on the road to relationship bliss.
5. Solidify your friendship
How satisfied you feel in your relationship has to do with how connected you feel to your partner. Research suggests that our ability to connect with others (our attachment style) is influenced by our childhood experiences. According to Prior and Glasser (2006), 65% of children can be classified as having a secure attachment style, with the remaining 35% having an insecure attachment style.
As an adult, an insecure attachment style is associated with a slew of relationship troubles, including jealousy, obsession, and emotional highs and lows. The good news is that, regardless of your present pattern, you can become more securely attached, or connected, to your partner by developing a deeper friendship. To do that, incrementally spend more time with them doing something you both enjoy. Also, regularly ask for updates on your partner's likes, dislikes, current stressors, and new interests, as people change over time.
4. Appreciate each other
Remember when you first started dating, how you used to go that extra mile to impress her? Well, one of the secrets to a long, fulfilling relationship is to continue to actively appreciate your partner. You don't necessarily have to pull out all the stops the way you did back in the day, but regular efforts to show your partner that you appreciate her will do wonders for improving your relationship.
If you're not sure where to start, a good place is by doling out daily compliments. Tell him he looks hot or thank him for organizational abilities when he reminds you to call your best friend. The only rule is to make sure that you genuinely mean what you say.
3. Concentrate on the present to ensure your future
Interestingly, the ability of your relationship to weather tough times has a lot to do with your mutual availability in the here and now. Unfortunately, over time, for a variety of reasons, many couples move further apart from each other, meaning that when a rough patch hits, their relationship doesn't survive. To build a rock-solid relationship, start by acknowledging rather than ignoring the ordinary moments in your relationship. If your partner wants to share something he's reading on the net, for example, take a minute to listen, even if you simply grunt in response. It may sound strange, but if you accumulate enough of the little things, when you really need your partner, you'll find he's there for you.
2. Find common goals
A study conducted in collaboration with a dating site in the UK found that 13% of couples reported no longer having the same goals. This situation represents a ticking time bomb, as research has shown that couples who share dreams and goals have longer-lasting, more satisfying relationships. If you feel like you've been out of sync lately with your partner on this front, discuss your philosophy of life together. The aim is for both of you to share what you want your life to be about, where you want to end up and what these things mean to you. Look for anything that's common between the two of you and talk about ways to work toward that aspiration together.
1. Focus on what's fixable
As long as an argument doesn't leave you feeling like you've been through an emotional roller coaster, consider it fixable. One major area that causes tension in relationships is finances, with a longitudinal study by economist Jay Zagorsky finding that 33% of couples have seriously divergent views on income, wealth and debts. In particular, the initial stages of living together may be especially fraught with monetary concerns. So that this problem doesn't spiral out of control, sit down with your other half and craft a detailed action plan, consulting any resources that might help to get your finances on track. You should both be able to live with the new arrangement or it won't work. Use this method to address any other problems in your life that you deem fixable.
Appreciate each other.