thing called love
If I've learned anything over the years as a relationship writer, it's that men and women really have no idea what the other side is thinking. Each gender also seems to have the same kinds of complaints against the other. And thus, the war of the sexes rages on!
On A New Mode, we spend a lot of time addressing the issues women have with their men. We talk about why guys act the way they do (we even wrote a book on it!) and uncover what's really going on inside their thick, manly skulls.
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While that's all well and good, I've decided to take a different approach with this article by revealing the common complains men have against us gals (as much as we hate to admit it, we also have faults!). I've consulted with ANM's resident male-mind expert, Eric Charles, as well as some of my other close guy friends to find out some universal grievances men have. I have to admit, I'm totally guilty of committing a lot of these but whatever, you live and learn!
Read on for six annoying traits guys wish girls would get rid of.
• When a girl doesn't take care of herself and just complains about her appearance. Don't complain to a guy about your weight and get mad when he suggests you join a gym because what you really wanted was for him to tell you how hot your body is. If you're not happy with it, why should he be?
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• Making him feel guilty for things when really she's just insecure. For instance, trying to force him to compliment you more and/or be more romantic because you are insecure and don't trust his feelings for you. Guys don't want to have to feel bad about your insecurities. If you're struggling, he'll be there to support you but don't make your issues his fault.
• Not loving herself and having low confidence. A girl can be absolutely gorgeous with a killer body, but if she has no confidence, she will be unattractive to a guy and he won't want to be with her. A woman is 1000x more sexy when she believes she has a hot body that he wants. Most girls don't realize that true sex appeal is almost completely mental.
MORE FROM ANM: On Loving Yourself and Being More Confident
• Talking him out of compliments. Take his damn compliment! If he tells you that you look beautiful, don't tell him you don't and point out the breakouts along your chin. He's not complimenting you for sport, he means it, so smile and say thank you!
• Trying to get him to do things by comparing him to her ex or to things he used to do. The worst way to do this is, "You used to bring me flowers every day, why don't you do that anymore? My ex boyfriend brought me two dozen roses every single day." This is the number one way to ensure he never gives you so much as a rose petal he found on the floor.
• Nagging and constantly complaining about his ways of doing things. Guys are all for self-improvement, but if you nag them, they will only grow to resent you and will do the opposite of what you want. If you want him to change a behavior, come from a place of love and appreciation, not criticism and frustration.
• Not showing appreciation. Men may come off all big and tough, but deep down they are starved for
appreciation and acknowledgment. They can't stand it when women only hone in on the things they're not doing rather than appreciating the nice things they are doing.
The moral of the story: love yourself, be confident, be proud of who you are and more importantly, what you look like. Also, try to put your gratitude goggles on and show your man some love and appreciation for all the things he does to make you happy, both big and small.
- Sabrina Alexis, co-founder of anewmode.com and co-author of the book He's Not That Complicated.