Dating is painful
No matter what anyone says, I have come to the conclusion that I hate dating. I just want to be in a relationship and that is why I have never called a relationship to an end because I really hate dating but maybe I have not done a good job at keeping the men I have had in my life.
Actually no, why can't it be that the men are the ones who are wrong? I am not at the best of my game at the moment; I am feeling a little bit low, a lot of things happening
Despite everything that everyone says, I know what I am looking for and I am not quick to judge, I try everything once, sometimes even twice, but if it does not feel right, I have to move on because time iis against me. I never thought I would turn into one of these women who are ruled by my body clock, but unfortunately, my body clock is ticking very loudly. I remember watching an 80's movie and this girl was telling her then boyfriend,( I think it was Danny De Vito but I will have to verify on that) that her body clock is ticking and when I watched this 10 years ago I thought it was funny as I had made up my mind then that I did not want children. Now I would kill for a baby (ok this is a figure of speech, don't call the authorities) I want to have a child more than anything in the world. I am spending my time looking and searching dating websites and giving my number to every Jim and Jack who asks for it because I think, you just never know. But all this ends in a one, at best 2 dates. I am following the rules and to be honest the best fun I had, has been when I ignored the rules. Of course the rules are there for a reason and of course this means whether I follow rules or not, I have yet to go past 2 dates. I am getting tired. My last date - without following rules was awesome. We then to the sea side, had fun in and out of sea, and a home-made meal and wine at the end of the night. Everything that I have ever dreamed of. Hugs whilst I cook and do the dishes, enjoying a meal and just enjoying each other's company but I don't think I want to see him again, not because he is a bad date but rather because I want a relationship and he doesn't and I am no going to hang around whilst he makes up his mind as to what he wants to do with his life. I have time ticking against me. I want a family, I want a child and maybe, my desperation is clearly evident. But of all the 1000 people who are online at any given time (on the sites that I have signed up to) what are the chances that someone is as desperate as I am? WATCH THIS SPACE!
