Mean Betty hears that Vivid Entertainment has offered Prince Harry an enormous sum to appear in an adult film. Is the offer in bad taste? Meanie thinks so!
-Mean Betty, BettyConfidential.com
Oh, kittens. There is apparently no low to which adult film production company Vivid Entertainment will not stoop, no scandal which they will not exploit: In the wake of Prince Harry's recent little adventure in Vegas, AKA the City of Sin- you remember, the one during which he wound up on camera, naked as a jaybird- Vivid head honcho Steve Hirsch has offered the prince a whopping $10 million to star in an XXX movie.
According to a letter (obtained, of course, by those most venerable of gossip mongers, TMZ) addressed to Prince Harry at Clarence House, his residence in London, Vivid was "amused and pleased" by the images from his Vegas romp; and as such, they would like to shoot a "fun, sexy, big-budget adult film" featuring Harry called The Trouble With Harry. "It can be shot in the locale of your choice," the letter reads "and will bring together your exciting Royal world and our thrilling world of beautiful women! Of course 'little Harry' will make an appearance too, but we assure the sex will be well scripted, and the Crown Jewels will not be 'minimized'in any way." Allow Meanie to give you a moment to cope with that image, kittens.
As for the $10 million? "Think of the good it would do in the hands of the Prince's Trust. Just a thought," writes Mr. Hirsch. Because of course Vivid Entertainment has in mind only the good of the youth charity first launched by Harry's father, Prince Charles, in 1976. Butler, dear, would you be as so kind as to fetch Meanie another mimosa? She needs something to wash the horrific taste of this statement from her mouth.
Ah, that's better.
Prince Harry, of course, will almost certainly turn Steve Hirsch and Vivid Entertainment down; besides suffering the consequences of the overwhelming embarrassment he has caused both his family and the monarchy, he is also facing disciplinary action from the military. A senior military source revealed to US Weekly that the prince "will be reprimanded [by the army]. Officers should never bring the Service into disrepute, whether on or off duty. This display of social misbehavior has raised eyebrows." Luckily for Harry, he won't be dismissed, but he WILL be reminded that "this type of behavior is not expected of someone his age and rank. [His superiors] will call him in when he gets back and want to talk to him about it." Prince Harry? To quote I Love Lucy, you've got some 'splainin' to do.
That said, though, Harry isn't the only one who is behaving badly in this situation. Meanie finds it somewhat odd that Vivid Entertainment feels it can be so-dare Meanie say it-gauche to think it appropriate to ask the man who is third in line for the British throne to star in an adult film. It is understandable for followers of celebrity culture to take some interest in the royal family; in America, the closest equivalent we have is not in the world of politics, but in the glamorous world of Hollywood. But Prince Harry (and Prince William and Kate Middleton, for that matter) are not Hollywood stars. They are political personages, even if their roles are largely ceremonial, and as such, there are lines regarding them which should not, under any circumstances, be crossed. Did Vivid send Anthony Weiner an offer to star in an adult film following the now-infamous "Weinergate" incident of 2011? No. No they did not. Of course, Anthony Weiner is not an attractive 27-year-old; but the point still stands.
Bizarrely, though, you may recall that Prince Harry is not the only person connected to the British Royal Family to receive an offer to star in his very own adult film (although as far as Meanie knows, he is the only immediate member of the British Royal Family to do so): Both of Duchess Catherine's siblings, Pippa and James Middleton, received similar offers from Vivid shortly after the Royal Wedding. Of course, their payment, had they accepted the offers, wouldn't have been nearly as grand as Prince Harry's; Pippa was offered $5 million, while James was offered a relatively paltry $1 million.
Does Steve Hirsch and Vivid Entertainment actually expect that these Very Important People will actually respond in the affirmative to their offers? Meanie hopes that the answer is no-that they view the offers as a strange sort of joke. Whatever the answer, though, the offers are in extremely bad taste. Wouldn't you agree, kittens?
Mr. Hirsch? The joke is over. Please develop a more mature sense of humor as you move forward into the future.
Butler, dear? Another mimosa, if you please!
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