Pete Doherty gets spiritualized and more

Dave Hogan/Getty ImagesMost dire religious act:
Unable to nab the Beckhams, Scientolgists aim low and score Pete Doherty as their latest member. [Defamer]

Worst way to land a hot date:
Kate Hudson says looks don't matter. "I don't have crushes on cute guys. I have really bizarre taste in men." [NY Post]

Most depressing tour:
For singer Avril Lavigne, the stadium is always half empty. [Perez]

Creepiest engagement:
Andy Roddick reads the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, makes his agent track down model Brooklyn Decker and proposes to her. [People]

Most delayed reaction:
After decades on the road together, Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards questions Mick Jagger's sexuality. "I really have no idea if anyone ever shoved it up the ----- . I'm not there watching it every day." [GQ]

Best demonstration of girl power:
Mariah and Madonna ----- ter Elvis' records simultaneously for most #1 and Most Top 10 hits. [Reuters]

Best/worst news we've heard all day:
MTV reality hit, The Hills, may be hitting the big screen. "They would basically film it like we do the show…It would be like a really long episode." [Us]

Brokest widow:
Courtney Love is fumes over thieves who stole from Kurt Cobain's estate. "I don't expect in a recession Americans to feel sorry for a person who's lost about $200 million, but this is nuts. I had [only] a $500 limit on my ATM card for years." [NY Post]

Most questionable photo leak:
After reports that The Hills star Audrina Partridge was unhappy with how she looked in the last batch of naked pics, a new set of photos are mysteriously released. [ONTD]

Most single-and-wanting-you-to-know-she's-okay-with-it celeb:
Cameron Diaz: "It's the first time I haven't had [a boyfriend] in ten years and I'm enjoying what I'm getting out of this moment. I could be in a relationship if I wanted to be but I haven't finished doing what I'm doing." [Us]

Most hilarious case of life imitates art:
Following Britney's appearance as a receptionist on How I Met Your Mother, Peta offers a donation of $1,000 to a charity of her choice if the popstar will answer their phones for an hour. [MSNBC]