This week, for the first time in 8 years, not to be experienced again until 2117, Venus was visible between the Earth and Sun. It was amazing to look through the telescopes to see this little dot - knowing it was a planet! It left me in awe. I feel energized being around people wanting to witness this sight on the top of a mountain, through the lens of these scientists, philosophers, and armature astronomers. I learned that the Hubble Space Telescope cannot directly observe the sun because the sunlight would destroy the instruments. Instead, the Hubble observed the transit of Venus by looking the moon because it reflects the sunlight, a "meek mirror of the sun" (Meg Urry, CNN Opinion, June 5, 2012). I feel like that is so amazing, so metaphorical for looking at things. It's the yin and yang. I feel that the "fat" that surrounds my body feels as powerful and harmful to me as looking straight at the sun. The "fat" is the physical form created by a lifetime of suppressed anger, sadness, and negativity. It has served it's purpose in protecting me from an existence I was too scared to ever consider. It has also shielded me from having meaningful long term relationships with men. So, I am now, like the Hubble, looking at the situation from a more peaceful, less harmful perspective.
My real essence is not this fleshy body. I feel the real me starting to come out and the old self is resisting - showing as anger, jitteriness, and anxiety. My goal is to release this energy in a healthy way, rather than my loved ones or colleagues. The real me is adventurous, active, fun, and engaging athlete. She loves to move. She loves to laugh. The best part is feeling free in her body! And she is trying to shake off this shield that no longer serves a purpose. I have started to embrace this transition by reminding myself that I am at peace, joyful, and powerful. I will continue to eat well, move, be loving with my words, gentle with my thoughts, meditate and most importantly seek connection and strength from Spirit.
Thank you for reading and for being a part of this journey. Venus Transit
The view from the top of the mountain. Looking south as the sun set.
Me and GD Trainer, Ellen. She is such a blessing to my spirit.