by Gena Kaufman, Glamour
I know, I know. As a non-14-year-old, who came of age way before everyone and their toddler had a cell phone, I should be a fan of the old-fashioned phone call. I should lament the decline of the spoken word and the forgotten art of conversation.
Whatever. Phone calls are 80s. (Pagers are 90s, obvs.) A lot of dating advice experts will say you should expect a man to call to confirm dating plans or to ask you out. And maybe you should listen to them, since the only thing I'm an expert in is being single and occasionally crying about it. But I generally hate phone calls and specifically hate them from guys I'm dating, and I'm not changing my mind any time soon.
Allow me to list my reasons.
1. Have you ever heard your voice played back to you via recording? Did you like the sound of your own voice? No, you did not. The only people who like the sound of their own voices are politicians (timely and true!). Yes, that IS what you sound like on the phone. Yuck. Sure, I want the guy I date to like the sound of my voice even if I don't, but just in case he also thinks I sound nasally and weird, let's only let him hear it when he can also be distracted by my cleavage, mmkay?
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2. Phone calls are so inconvenient. What if I'm with friends and can't talk? What if I'm in the middle of exercising haha I mean watching an important episode of Dawson's Creek on Netflix that I've only seen twice before and Dawson is just about to lose his virginity to Jen?!?! Hello, I can't interrupt my life just to discuss which restaurant you heard has good tapas, and exchanging voicemails is even more awkward than a regular phone conversation. However, I can pretty much always respond to a text, while not interrupting my previously scheduled activities.
3. I have sensitive skin. Holding my germy cell phone up to my face makes me susceptible to breakouts. My fingertips stay zit free no matter how much I text.
4. Awkward silences. Sometimes I find talking on the phone even to my friends and family difficult--you can't see their facial expressions, you both have your own background noise to compete with, etc. It's just not the same as a face-to-face conversation, even with the people you know best. So with a guy I'm just getting to know? Awful! The painful silence of an awkward pause is magnified by 1000 times the intensity over the phone than it is in person. That's just science.
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5. I can tell a lot about my compatibility with a guy via text. Awkward silences can happen even with a guy you get along with swimmingly in person, but immature writing is just unacceptable, period. Ahhh, here's where the crotchedy old lady who lives deep within my heart comes out. Look, I make typos and unfortunate autocorrect errors myself, but if I get a "r u busy? wut r you're planz 4 tonite" message, I pretty much know we're doomed.
So, that pretty much sums up my feelings on the matter. Obviously, this doesn't have to be everyone's dating preference but for me, I'm just not that into you, Phone Call. Of course, I do make exceptions, for instance: In emergency situations, long distance relationships, or to break up with me if we've gone on more than five dates. But then you should really do it in person, so text me to make plans to dump me, thanks.
Are you on Team Text? Or do you still really value a phone call when you're getting to know a guy? I can respect both sides. Tell me what you prefer and why below!
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by Gena Kaufman, Glamour