Wisconsin professor wins 2011 bad writing contest

You should know about bad writing. Did you win the contest?

Birds are killed on windmills all the time. It makes perfect sense.

I need to enter that contest! No one can ever read my cryptic writing! I could easily win it!

Ain't this something to be proud of considering we spend multi-billions on education? Only thing worse is that there is a committee we pay for to evaluate this garbage. So proud to be an American right now.

My voracious mind in search of breakfast humour is now sated with such charred racks of mangled words and half-bloodied sentences.

I would hate to have to judge one of these contests. Can you imagine all the crap they have to sort through in order to find the one sentence that was either worse than the rest, or had a subtle hint of humor in it? No. Way.

I live about 40 min. away from UW Oshkosh and this does not shock me one bit that someone from there won this. That school is the joke of the UW system.

"Having the reputation for swapping oral sex for rootbeer floats as a teen was a social crutch Anita just couldn't seem to shake, but it did keep her figure resembling a 2 liter and helped to cure the boredom of living in a town named suspiciously after a turkey's genitalia - Turkey Balls Falls."

That would have been my submission.

I LOVE this competition. It is not as easy as it sounds - to write a truley terrible opening line to a novel. I've followed it for years and this year looks like the least funny winners. Surprised to see Yahoo pick it up.

"Gordon freechment was studying in his was studying labaratoried"

-Peter Chimaera

My head officially hurts now...

Mr. Pederson's entry made me laugh

So, maybe the writer of this article should have won,,,, for failing to give -even a clue- to the "prizes' that were awarded by the winners of the contest.
Can you spell DUH.

There's even worse writing than this.. ever been to fictionpress.com or fanfiction.com? Cliche, cliche, cliche. Awful adjectives. No grammar.

*Bad Writing Contest* - maybe they should have judged the author of this article. The second paragraph says, "The contestant asks writers to submit the worst possible opening sentences to imaginary novels." Should it not say, "The contest. . . ."

The 5th paragraph says, ". . . reminded them of the 1960s hit song. . ." It should be *1960's* since it is showing possession.

There are several commas missing or misplaced.

Sheeeesh

This winning sentence is so "bad" that it would be excellent as an opener (to lead to something deeper) because everyone knows someone whose mind and thoughts are scattered in exactly the same way. .... Grab, then add. .... Kudus to Sue Fondrie...
You definitely Fly!

"It was a stark and dormant night..."

Hey.... I like "Windmills of Your Mind." lol

Sounds like a rip-off of the song Maybe Sparrow by Neko Case.

This is vital for creative writing students.
After you have read the first five volumes of the Bulwer-Lytton Contest winners you will become entranced,and what is more stimulated to write something.