Last Saturday night I got into a "discussion" with my boyfriend. It started when I was in front of my vanity, carefully applying Step 7 of my makeup routine (highlighter above my cheekbones), and my S.O. yelled, "Are you ready yet? How long does it take to put on some lipstick?"
OK, so curling my hair and perfecting my cat-eye takes longer than slapping on some Chapstick. But am I the only high-maintenance one in this relationship?
I. Think. Not.
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I reminded my boyfriend (in my most snarky tone) how often he whines about his "not balding, but slightly thinning" hair and big ears he wishes he could pin back.
Since my boyfriend -- and really, much of the male race -- won't acknowledge how much they really care about their appearance, I'll do it for them.
First up: A recent "20/20" episode that highlighted a growing cosmetic surgery fad this year, one that's not for women.
While Tom Cruise has his loafer lifts and A-list Hollywood status to boost his stature, a "growing" number of men are turning to a painful and costly cosmetic surgery for a post-adolescent growth spurt.
Dror Paley, MD, a renowned orthopaedic surgeon at the Paley Institute at St. Mary's Medical Center in West Palm Beach, Fla., performed 650 leg-lengthening surgeries last year alone.
The length to which men are going to augment their physical appearance is absurd. The surgery requires physically breaking the leg bone in two and implanting a telescopic rod into the broken bones that stretches the bone approximately one millimeter a day. The bones' regrowth takes three months to complete, requires painful physical therapy, and costs $85,000 a pop.
And it's not just leg-lengthening. The American Society of Plastic Surgeons says men underwent more than 1.1 million cosmetic procedures in 2010. Facelifts for men rose 14 percent in 2010 while male liposuction increased 7 percent.
So, you're probably thinking these men are of the froufrou Hollywood clientele, but plastic surgeons say that another trend they see in male plastic surgery is the type of patient seeking their services.
"Typically people think of celebrities and high profile men undergoing cosmetic surgery," said Stephen Baker, MD, an ASPS Member Surgeon based in Washington DC. "And while that may be true, the typical male cosmetic surgery patient that I see is an average guy who wants to look as good as he feels. Most of my patients are 'men's men' -- the kind of guy you might not think would have plastic surgery."
Mmmhmm. Enough said. So, the next time my burly, alpha-male boyfriend intimates that I'm vain, I'll be ready to spit out these numbers:
Top 5 Fastest Growing Male Cosmetic Surgical Procedures in 2010
1. Facelift (up 14 percent)
2. Ear Surgery (up 11 percent)
3. Soft Tissue Fillers (up to 10 percent)
4. Botulinum Toxin Type A (up 9 percent)
5. Liposuction (up 7 percent)