Bobbi Palmer of Date Like a Grownup™ shares with women dating over 40 the one word that will change the way men respond to them.A single man I know once said: If a woman I'm interested in doesn't seem to love herself, why should I love her...and trying to convince her that she's great would be too exhausting.
When a man meets this kind of woman he may be attracted initially, but after figuring out that she is a project (one he doesn't care to take on), he will soon disappear. Your phone won't ring after the first or second date because if you're not keen on yourself, a good man takes that as a signal to run.
It makes sense. Think about how you judge a man as a good potential mate.
On the list of what you're looking for in a man (c'mom...I know you have a list!) I bet "confidence" is way up there on the top. It's human nature to be attracted to people who seem to truly like themselves. They make us feel safe and, heck, if they clearly know they are worthy of attention and admiration, we go along for the ride until we learn otherwise.
Confidence tops the list of both women and men when they describe what turns
Blog Posts by Bobbi Palmer
- Bobbi Palmer | Love + Sex – Mon, Mar 18, 2013 3:54 AM EDT
Bobbi Palmer of Date Like a Grownup™ shares with women dating over 40 the one word that will change the way men respond to them.A single man I know once said: If a woman I'm interested in doesn't seem to love herself, why should I love her...and trying to convince her that she's great would be too exhausting.Read More »from The One Word You Can Use to Magnetize the Right Man
I know I sound like a broken record about the benefits of dating online, especially if you are single and over 40. I'm going to continue to nag you about this because I want what you want: for you to find the man of your dreams, and to never let each other go.
Getting online is the best way to make that happen.
Go ahead, take the test, I promise you'll learn things about how to meet the RIGHT MEN online, the RIGHT way. Like your mother used to say "You'll thank me later."
True or False:Read More »from What is Your Online Dating IQ?
1. You should never respond if a guy just "winks" at your profile and doesn't email first.
2. Spelling or grammatical errors tell you a lot about the man.
3. It's important to list your requirements and deal breakers in your online profile.
4. Run your profile by your best girlfriends to get their feedback before posting.
5. Never overtly flirt in your initial emails. He'll get the wrong idea.
6. It's OK to email him again if he doesn't respond at first.
Bobbi Palmer of Date Like a Grownup shares why women dating over 40 shouldn't worry about butterflies with more important things at stake on first dates.I read this quote recently: I love that feeling of being in love, the effect of having butterflies when you wake up in the morning. That is special. ~ Jennifer AnistonRead More »from How to Tell If He is Second-Date Worthy
I love her, and no offense meant, but how has that butterfly-thing been working for Jen so far?
During my 35-plus years of loneliness, heartbreaks, dating, love and finally marriage, my relationship with butterflies has changed a lot. Back in the day, when I met that unique man with a certain look and cocky confidence, I'd go weak in the knees. And if he made me laugh and showed me even the slightest bit of interest, that was it. I was a goner. Ahhh…bring on the butterflies.
It was exciting and I loved the feeling. That is, until I didn't. Because every one of those guys were fleeting connections who left me disappointed, confused and convinced that yet again I missed my chance at love. Why was it that all the guys I liked (and there weren't that many) didn't like me??
This was the pattern until I finally understood
Bobbi Palmer of Date Like a Grownup™ offers gratitude to her recently departed father for the life lessons he taught her.My Dad died. There…I said it out loud. Even though I was by his side and saw him take his very last breath, it's been hard to believe he's gone forever. F-o-r-e-v-e-r.
I wanted to write this article for Thanksgiving so I could publicly thank him and show my gratitude. How trite, I thought. It doesn't do him justice.
So I write now. On a dreary Friday in November. Just another day like every single day since October 2 when I think of him and wish he were here.
I very much want to honor this honorable man. I also want to pass on some of his life tips. I know he would get a kick out of me doing this. Not just because receiving public gratitude is pretty nice, but because it validates that he did a good job teaching me. (Yes…I was listening, Dad!)
I now see that Melvin took his job as Father very seriously. He made a good living. He set a strong and positive example. He taught us something every day. He raised two hard-working, nice people.
I also see that he loved meRead More »from Delicious Life Lessons I Learned from My Father
- Bobbi Palmer | Love + Sex – Thu, Nov 29, 2012 11:25 PM EST
At least half of all the emails I get from wonderful women who are over 40 and looking for love are about the same question you've probably been asking since you were a teenager: "Is he in to me?"
Often the answer is: If you have to ask, he's probably not.
The other common answer is: No way to know…give him time. So many of us think about the "Is he in to me?" situation way too soon. After the first date - especially if you were in to him - we're wondering if he saw the same thing we did. You know…did he feel the Connection?
Real grownup men don't play games; when they are in, they are in.Most men are different than we are. (Big surprise, right?) They are pretty good staying in the information gathering stage until they see enough evidence that you might be The One. That doesn't mean they don't make decisions soon - they do. But the decision may be that he likes you and wants to see you again. Then he can stop there.
What do we do? We decide we like him but then might start listing all the things that are so great about him andRead More »from Answering the $1 Million Question: Is He in to You?
- Bobbi Palmer | Love + Sex – Mon, Nov 26, 2012 2:42 AM EST
Three things I recommend you keep in mind as you travel on your journey meeting men using online dating.You can meet the spectacular, special man who is going to be your life partner using online dating. I met the love of my life on www.match.com, so of course I recommend it to all my friends, coaching clients, in my workshops…really to anyone who will listen!
Here are three things I recommend you keep in mind as you travel on your journey meeting men using online dating. (Yep…it is a journey and, yes, you meet men online…you really don't date them there.)
#1. Be the Boss
No, I don't mean be bossy. I mean be in control of your experience. Online dating opens you up to thousands more possibilities, and it's a completely new way of meeting people.
Make some decisions and set some personal guidelines about how you want to integrate it into your life. How many hours will you spend each day? (Warning: this can get addictive!) What things can you do to ensure your physical and emotional well-being as you talk to and meet people? What can you learn or change to be aRead More »from 3 Online Dating “Do’s” to Keep You Happily Meeting Men
- Bobbi Palmer | Love + Sex – Sun, Sep 9, 2012 7:45 PM EDT
Bobbi Palmer of Date Like a Grownup shares how when a woman dating over 40 overthinks her situation, she might overlook the perfect partner."If it were a snake, it would 'a bit ya!" That's what Ethel Mertz always said to her husband Fred (Lucy Ricardo's neighbors in I Love Lucy) when he'd wander around looking for his glasses - which were always on top of his (bald) head. Do you remember that?Read More »from Is "Should-ing" on Yourself Blocking Your View of a Beautiful Future?
Well, this is what I could have said to my client Carol who hired me to help her break up with her boyfriend Hugh. Carol had been happily married for many years before she was widowed at the age of 53. She met Hugh a year or so after her husband died. They had fun dating and exploring Los Angeles, and they enjoyed each other's company.
Carol didn't take this relationship too seriously since he was the first man she dated other than her late husband. (They had been married 25 years.) She was ready for love again but knew she should "play the field" in order to find the right guy.
So, she called me to help her figure out how to do the dirty deed and let Hugh down easy. She then wanted to search for and find the Mr. Right for this
- Bobbi Palmer | Love + Sex – Mon, Sep 3, 2012 12:59 AM EDT
Bobbi Palmer of Date Like a Grownup™ shares how to overcome your FemiType if you're a woman dating over 40.Over the past few months I've profiled six types of women - I call them FemiTypes - who have less than healthy relationships with men. I've written about The Princess, The 18 Year Old, The Scaredy Cat, The Wow-Me Woman, The Bitter Woman and The Sexpot.Read More »from Are You Ready to Teach and Tame Her? (FemiTypes - the Epilogue)
Why have I written about women when you really want to know about men? Because I know it will help lead you get to where you want to be: in a loving relationship with a man who is devoted to you.
I wrote the FemiType series in hopes of creating empathy for your counterpart: the over 40 single guy who is dating and looking for love. Many of these guys come to you after dating, living with or being married to one or more of these FemiTypes.
After reading this series, I hope you can understand why some single men can seem judgmental, insecure, scared or a little shell-shocked! Like you, they're likely reacting based on previous experiences.
Understanding men's bumps and bruises will add to your compassion, and compassion is toward the
Why women dating over 40 who rely on their sexuality to attract a mate short change themselves in the long run.Let me start today by telling you how magnificent you are. The fact that you are a woman over 40 and reading this tells me that you are all the more spectacular. Really, it does!
One of the reasons finding love over 40 can be the most gratifying time of all is that you know your sphere of power. You've learned you are only in control of you, no one else. Life has taught you that you cannot control co-workers, friends, and especially the men you date...or marry, for that matter. (Though I'm quite sure you occasionally try.)
You also know that with that self-control comes personal responsibility, and you know you have the power to create a happy and full life for yourself instead of living one of disappointment and scarcity. This is why I've written this series on FemiTypes.*
Hard as it is to take a close look at yourself, I know that you have a super-important goal you have not yet reached. As with all things in your life you have already achieved, you know that the way toRead More »from Are You Attracting Cads and Pingers?
- Bobbi Palmer | Love + Sex – Mon, Aug 20, 2012 12:27 AM EDT
Your bitterness will hold you back from finding a fulfilling relationship with a man who adores you.In an effort to help you understand the man side of this midlife dating experience, I've introduced you to The Princess, The 18 Year Old, The Scaredy Cat and The Wow-Me Woman: all FemiTypes* that send good men running.Read More »from User Post: Do All Men Make You Mad? the Bitter Woman
Today I'm going to talk about perhaps the most challenging of all FemiTypes: The Bitter Woman. She is a little scary, a lot angry, and all about being a victim. Not only does she scare and briefly traumatize the men she meets, but her bitterness probably seeps into all areas of her life.
So buckle your seat belts; this may get a bit bumpy. The good news is that you will probably not recognize yourself here - though I'll bet you have a friend or someone else in your life who is The Bitter Woman. (These are not women to talk to about your search for love, btw.)
Who hasn't had periods of feeling bitter? Whether you've been passed over for a promotion, had a crappy childhood, or had a man do you wrong, by this time in your life you've taken a fair share of hits.