Blog Posts by EMandLO.com

secrets & whispers

Dirty talk can terrify even the most seasoned sexual adventurer-people are afraid of sounding stupid or afraid of like a pornstar… or perhaps they're afraid of not sounding like a pornstar. But when you break it down, dirty talk is actually much simpler and more approachable than you might think. Here are five easy ways to try it out:

1. React to What's Happening

If something feels good, say so. Start with moans and sighs (they count, too!), or a breathy repetition of your partner's name, and work up to "Yes!" or "That feels good" or "I love it when you do that"-and eventually you can build up to "I love it when you [BLANK] with your [BLANK]."

2. Ditch Your Thesaurus

Speaking of the [BLANK]: As a general rule, the more words a term for the genitals contains, the more likely it is to induce giggles or a wince. On the other hand, you probably want to steer clear of terms that a gynecologist or urologist would use (kind of a buzz kill!). You're safest sticking to the

Grand Central Ceilingaries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
So maybe there's no Santa Claus, and perhaps the tooth fairy turned out to be pretty useless once you'd got all your grown-up teeth. But yes, Virginia, there is a Cupid, and this week, he's in your corner. So make like Rocky and own the ring; with any luck, by sundown Friday you'll be yelling "Adrian! Adrian!" in the throes of passion. Actually, come to think of it, best not to say "Adrian" unless you're actually sleeping with one. Using your luvver's own name adds a nice personal touch.

taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
You know that old trope that you don't have to end up alone if you don't choose to? We'd like to state for the record: That's kakapootie. Sure, you can always be with someone, as long as standards aren't an issue for you. ("No personality, no manners, no oral skills? No problem!") What you can control is how often you get out and about and meet people - and the more people you meet, the less likely you are to have to lower your standards. Hey, it's

Embrace1. A well-designed sex toy can make a fabulous gift.
Birthdays, Mother's Day, Just Because Day, whenever. Well, perhaps not if you've been on just a date or two - but if you're in the kind of serious long-term relationship where you've met each other's parents and explored each other's orifices, then giving your partner a sex toy is a pretty awesome way to stand out from the crowd. Sex toy packaging and design has improved immeasurably over the past few years, and classy gift sets look sensual and romantic, like this Adore Me Kit, which comes with a red lipstick vibe, a red silk blindfold, red silk and suede wrist restraints, and a satin storage pouch.

2. Mind games in the bedroom can be the best thing that ever happened to your relationship.
Don't mess with each other's heads when it comes to calling when you say you will or showing up on time for a romantic candlelit dinner. Butdo mess with each other in bed: Play games, tease the hell out of each other, tickle fight, wrestle, take

The End of SexThe End of Sex by Donna Frietas is getting a lot of action lately, with reviews calling it "important, wise, and brave" (The Atlantic), "illuminating" (WSJ), "straight-forward, well-researched, and eye-opening" (Publishers Weekly), and with Frietas herself penning an editorial for the Washington Post and nabbing a coveted spot on The Today Show. Subtitled "How Hookup Culture Is Leaving a Generation Unhappy, Sexually Unfulfilled, and Confused About Sexual Intimacy," the book analyzes 2,500 surveys from 11 colleges and finds that casual sex is perceived by students as the only romantic option on campus these days - and that actually bums a majority of them out. Here's an excerpt:

The Second Shift of College

Amid the seemingly endless partying on America's college campuses lies a thick layer of melancholy, insecurity, and isolation that no one can seem to shake. College students have perfected an air of bravado about hookup culture, though a great many of them privately wish for a world

Candy heartsWant us to answer your own advice question? Write to us here!

Dear Em & Lo,
I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years now and we love each other very much, but she is way more into sex than I am. I try to match her libido but she is still too much for me. She also likes to use sex just to pleasure herself or relieve stress, but she's been getting too restless as the years go by. I'm actually getting worried that we may break up because of our differences. I don't know what to do - can you please help?
- Be Careful What You Wish For

Dear B.C.W.Y.W.F.,

First of all, we should admit straight out that we don't have an easy answer for you - in fact, the main reason we chose to answer your letter is because we felt like it would help so many people to read it. Wildly different libidos is one of the most difficult obstacles to overcome in a relationship (well, that and the whole porn issue), but too many people assume that libido problems are all about menwanting sex more than women. In fact,

The Kiss
10. No way, you had spinach for lunch too?!
9. I think I swallowed your filling.
8. Thanks, I'd been meaning to floss.
7. Care for a mint?
6. Can I have a Kleenex? I've got a saliva mustache now.
5. Here's a Kleenex. You've got a little booger.
4. Cold sores aren't the same thing as oral herpes, right?
3. That reminds me, I have to do a go home and do my laundry.
2. Huh.
1. My mom would love you.

MORE LIKE THIS FROM EMandLO.com:

• Anti-Advice: The Top 5 Tricks to Snag a Man
• The Top 5 Writing Lessons of Fifty Shades of Grey
• Top 10 Breakup Songs Taylor Swift SHOULD Write

Crossed legs
Advice from three of EM & LO's guy friends. This week a straight woman asks, "Does sleeping with a guy on a first date really ruin my chances for a future relationship with him? What if it's obvious we really like each other, the chemistry's great, we have a lot in common, and we're both horny?"

Gay Single Guy (Daniel): Thinking that putting out on the first date will kill off any romantic possibilities is pandering to an old skool way of thinking about sex and love: that the guy must court, wait a gazillion years while the woman's heart oh so steadily burns and yearns and he tries to satisfy himself on a nightly basis, Onan-style, until they are finally wedded before sex can even be in the equation. In the 21st century, sex on the first date could very well just mean that you "have a lot in common and were both horny." Sex doesn't always complicate, nor is it always a barrier to further emotional intimacy. On the contrary, in fact. Consider all the gay couples around the world who

Laurie SandellOur good friend, colleague, and fellow shameless Bachelor fan, Laurie Sandell, is a successful freelance magazine writer (Marie Claire, New York, In Style), graphic memoirist (The Impostor's Daughter), nonfiction book author (Truth and Consequences: Life Inside the Madoff Family) and coffee shop dweller (18th Street Coffee Shop in Santa Monica). This past weekend, her wonderful essay "How to Break Up with a Two Year Old" was the "Modern Love" column in the New York Times Styles section this past Sunday -- her first Times piece! In it, she tells her story of how falling in love with a man, then falling in love with his little girl, then eventually having to break up with both of them ultimately convinced her that she wanted a baby no matter what, partner or no. Now 15 weeks pregnant, Laurie did us the honor of answering a few of our nosy questions about it all:

WHEN YOU LINKED TO YOUR ARTICLE ON FACEBOOK, you mentioned the "surprise" at the end -- was this your coming out party to