Blog Posts by EMandLO.com

Grand Central Ceilingaries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
Don't turn your back on someone who has been loyal to you for years - this might refer to love, or it may apply simply to a friendship or business relationship. Shame on you for even considering it, by the way! Think of everything they've ever done for you. Sure, they may be completely annoying in their own special way, but that's part of their charm. Don't walk away from them, not if you want us to talk to you again.

taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
Hey big spender, put your wallet away. If it's your hard-earned dollars winning someone over, are they really worth winning? Even if it's your easily-come-by trust fund dollars doing the winning? Okay, so let's just say, hypothetically, that they really are that hot, and you really are that superficial. But how are you going to hold onto your gold-digging hottie next time Ben Bernanke's forecast doesn't agree with your stock portfolio? Plan for the future by being generous of heart but stingy of

Angelina JolieAngelina Jolie wrote an op ed in the New York Times yesterday about her decision to have a preventive double mastectomy in order to greatly reduce her risk of breast cancer, which she had an almost 90% chance of getting due to a "faulty" gene (BRCA1) which greatly predisposes carriers to the disease.

Her acting career -- indeed her celebrity career -- has often revolved and relied on her otherworldly beauty (which includes bodily proportions more akin to Barbie than the average woman). Case in point: Lara Croft: Tomb Raider was basically a vehicle for her boobs. Her body has been a fantasy and jealousy maker for both men and women (and not just respectively speaking). And as is the case with any celebrity, but especially one who's part of an elite power couple known for their physical beauty, her body has been something we feel we own in some way with our Us Weekly ogling.

Which is why this op ed comes as such a shocker. How could she willingly remove these

secrets & whispers

Dirty talk can terrify even the most seasoned sexual adventurer-people are afraid of sounding stupid or afraid of like a pornstar… or perhaps they're afraid of not sounding like a pornstar. But when you break it down, dirty talk is actually much simpler and more approachable than you might think. Here are five easy ways to try it out:

1. React to What's Happening

If something feels good, say so. Start with moans and sighs (they count, too!), or a breathy repetition of your partner's name, and work up to "Yes!" or "That feels good" or "I love it when you do that"-and eventually you can build up to "I love it when you [BLANK] with your [BLANK]."

2. Ditch Your Thesaurus

Speaking of the [BLANK]: As a general rule, the more words a term for the genitals contains, the more likely it is to induce giggles or a wince. On the other hand, you probably want to steer clear of terms that a gynecologist or urologist would use (kind of a buzz kill!). You're safest sticking to the

Grand Central Ceilingaries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
So maybe there's no Santa Claus, and perhaps the tooth fairy turned out to be pretty useless once you'd got all your grown-up teeth. But yes, Virginia, there is a Cupid, and this week, he's in your corner. So make like Rocky and own the ring; with any luck, by sundown Friday you'll be yelling "Adrian! Adrian!" in the throes of passion. Actually, come to think of it, best not to say "Adrian" unless you're actually sleeping with one. Using your luvver's own name adds a nice personal touch.

taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
You know that old trope that you don't have to end up alone if you don't choose to? We'd like to state for the record: That's kakapootie. Sure, you can always be with someone, as long as standards aren't an issue for you. ("No personality, no manners, no oral skills? No problem!") What you can control is how often you get out and about and meet people - and the more people you meet, the less likely you are to have to lower your standards. Hey, it's

Embrace1. A well-designed sex toy can make a fabulous gift.
Birthdays, Mother's Day, Just Because Day, whenever. Well, perhaps not if you've been on just a date or two - but if you're in the kind of serious long-term relationship where you've met each other's parents and explored each other's orifices, then giving your partner a sex toy is a pretty awesome way to stand out from the crowd. Sex toy packaging and design has improved immeasurably over the past few years, and classy gift sets look sensual and romantic, like this Adore Me Kit, which comes with a red lipstick vibe, a red silk blindfold, red silk and suede wrist restraints, and a satin storage pouch.

2. Mind games in the bedroom can be the best thing that ever happened to your relationship.
Don't mess with each other's heads when it comes to calling when you say you will or showing up on time for a romantic candlelit dinner. Butdo mess with each other in bed: Play games, tease the hell out of each other, tickle fight, wrestle, take

The End of SexThe End of Sex by Donna Frietas is getting a lot of action lately, with reviews calling it "important, wise, and brave" (The Atlantic), "illuminating" (WSJ), "straight-forward, well-researched, and eye-opening" (Publishers Weekly), and with Frietas herself penning an editorial for the Washington Post and nabbing a coveted spot on The Today Show. Subtitled "How Hookup Culture Is Leaving a Generation Unhappy, Sexually Unfulfilled, and Confused About Sexual Intimacy," the book analyzes 2,500 surveys from 11 colleges and finds that casual sex is perceived by students as the only romantic option on campus these days - and that actually bums a majority of them out. Here's an excerpt:

The Second Shift of College

Amid the seemingly endless partying on America's college campuses lies a thick layer of melancholy, insecurity, and isolation that no one can seem to shake. College students have perfected an air of bravado about hookup culture, though a great many of them privately wish for a world

Candy heartsWant us to answer your own advice question? Write to us here!

Dear Em & Lo,
I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years now and we love each other very much, but she is way more into sex than I am. I try to match her libido but she is still too much for me. She also likes to use sex just to pleasure herself or relieve stress, but she's been getting too restless as the years go by. I'm actually getting worried that we may break up because of our differences. I don't know what to do - can you please help?
- Be Careful What You Wish For

Dear B.C.W.Y.W.F.,

First of all, we should admit straight out that we don't have an easy answer for you - in fact, the main reason we chose to answer your letter is because we felt like it would help so many people to read it. Wildly different libidos is one of the most difficult obstacles to overcome in a relationship (well, that and the whole porn issue), but too many people assume that libido problems are all about menwanting sex more than women. In fact,

The Kiss
10. No way, you had spinach for lunch too?!
9. I think I swallowed your filling.
8. Thanks, I'd been meaning to floss.
7. Care for a mint?
6. Can I have a Kleenex? I've got a saliva mustache now.
5. Here's a Kleenex. You've got a little booger.
4. Cold sores aren't the same thing as oral herpes, right?
3. That reminds me, I have to do a go home and do my laundry.
2. Huh.
1. My mom would love you.

MORE LIKE THIS FROM EMandLO.com:

• Anti-Advice: The Top 5 Tricks to Snag a Man
• The Top 5 Writing Lessons of Fifty Shades of Grey
• Top 10 Breakup Songs Taylor Swift SHOULD Write