Pickup truck kissWe believe that the quickie is one of the most underrated sex acts out there. Perhaps this is because everyone from Sting to porn producers to teen boys reciting baseball statistics in bed are convinced that going long is always better. Here are five reasons why, sometimes, less is more.
1. You Need Your Beauty Sleep
Research consistently shows that people would choose a good night's sleep over sex. And sure, when you crawl into bed at midnight and, with a heavy heart, set your alarm for six a.m., then an hour or two of sensual tantric love-making doesn't sound that appealing. But what about five or ten minutes of intense passion followed by a sleep-inducing orgasm? Now we're talking.
2. Women Don't Always Need As Much Time As You Think
We've all heard that women at least need thirty minutes of extended foreplay in order to truly enjoy sex. But then how come during masturbation, women climax, on average, in less than four minutes? (Guys take an average of two to three minutes to
Blog Posts by EMandLO.com
Pickup truck kissWe believe that the quickie is one of the most underrated sex acts out there. Perhaps this is because everyone from Sting to porn producers to teen boys reciting baseball statistics in bed are convinced that going long is always better. Here are five reasons why, sometimes, less is more.Read More »from 5 Reasons to Give Quickies a Try
- EMandLO.com | Love + Sex – Wed, May 15, 2013 9:47 AM EDT
Angelina JolieAngelina Jolie wrote an op ed in the New York Times yesterday about her decision to have a preventive double mastectomy in order to greatly reduce her risk of breast cancer, which she had an almost 90% chance of getting due to a "faulty" gene (BRCA1) which greatly predisposes carriers to the disease.
Her acting career -- indeed her celebrity career -- has often revolved and relied on her otherworldly beauty (which includes bodily proportions more akin to Barbie than the average woman). Case in point: Lara Croft: Tomb Raider was basically a vehicle for her boobs. Her body has been a fantasy and jealousy maker for both men and women (and not just respectively speaking). And as is the case with any celebrity, but especially one who's part of an elite power couple known for their physical beauty, her body has been something we feel we own in some way with our Us Weekly ogling.
Which is why this op ed comes as such a shocker. How could she willingly remove theseRead More »from Lessons We Can Learn from Angelina Jolie's Announcement
secrets & whispers
Dirty talk can terrify even the most seasoned sexual adventurer-people are afraid of sounding stupid or afraid of like a pornstar… or perhaps they're afraid of not sounding like a pornstar. But when you break it down, dirty talk is actually much simpler and more approachable than you might think. Here are five easy ways to try it out:
1. React to What's Happening
If something feels good, say so. Start with moans and sighs (they count, too!), or a breathy repetition of your partner's name, and work up to "Yes!" or "That feels good" or "I love it when you do that"-and eventually you can build up to "I love it when you [BLANK] with your [BLANK]."
2. Ditch Your Thesaurus
Speaking of the [BLANK]: As a general rule, the more words a term for the genitals contains, the more likely it is to induce giggles or a wince. On the other hand, you probably want to steer clear of terms that a gynecologist or urologist would use (kind of a buzz kill!). You're safest sticking to theRead More »from 5 Easy Ways to Talk Dirtier Tonight
Grand Central Ceilingaries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)Read More »from Your Weekly Love-Life Horoscopes
So maybe there's no Santa Claus, and perhaps the tooth fairy turned out to be pretty useless once you'd got all your grown-up teeth. But yes, Virginia, there is a Cupid, and this week, he's in your corner. So make like Rocky and own the ring; with any luck, by sundown Friday you'll be yelling "Adrian! Adrian!" in the throes of passion. Actually, come to think of it, best not to say "Adrian" unless you're actually sleeping with one. Using your luvver's own name adds a nice personal touch.
taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
You know that old trope that you don't have to end up alone if you don't choose to? We'd like to state for the record: That's kakapootie. Sure, you can always be with someone, as long as standards aren't an issue for you. ("No personality, no manners, no oral skills? No problem!") What you can control is how often you get out and about and meet people - and the more people you meet, the less likely you are to have to lower your standards. Hey, it's
Embrace1. A well-designed sex toy can make a fabulous gift.Read More »from 5 Things Everyone Should Know About Sex
Birthdays, Mother's Day, Just Because Day, whenever. Well, perhaps not if you've been on just a date or two - but if you're in the kind of serious long-term relationship where you've met each other's parents and explored each other's orifices, then giving your partner a sex toy is a pretty awesome way to stand out from the crowd. Sex toy packaging and design has improved immeasurably over the past few years, and classy gift sets look sensual and romantic, like this Adore Me Kit, which comes with a red lipstick vibe, a red silk blindfold, red silk and suede wrist restraints, and a satin storage pouch.
2. Mind games in the bedroom can be the best thing that ever happened to your relationship.
Don't mess with each other's heads when it comes to calling when you say you will or showing up on time for a romantic candlelit dinner. Butdo mess with each other in bed: Play games, tease the hell out of each other, tickle fight, wrestle, take
- EMandLO.com | Love + Sex – Fri, Apr 26, 2013 8:24 PM EDT
The End of SexThe End of Sex by Donna Frietas is getting a lot of action lately, with reviews calling it "important, wise, and brave" (The Atlantic), "illuminating" (WSJ), "straight-forward, well-researched, and eye-opening" (Publishers Weekly), and with Frietas herself penning an editorial for the Washington Post and nabbing a coveted spot on The Today Show. Subtitled "How Hookup Culture Is Leaving a Generation Unhappy, Sexually Unfulfilled, and Confused About Sexual Intimacy," the book analyzes 2,500 surveys from 11 colleges and finds that casual sex is perceived by students as the only romantic option on campus these days - and that actually bums a majority of them out. Here's an excerpt:Read More »from Why College Students Don't like Hooking Up as Much as You Think
The Second Shift of College
Amid the seemingly endless partying on America's college campuses lies a thick layer of melancholy, insecurity, and isolation that no one can seem to shake. College students have perfected an air of bravado about hookup culture, though a great many of them privately wish for a world
- EMandLO.com | Love + Sex – Fri, Apr 26, 2013 2:13 PM EDT
Candy heartsWant us to answer your own advice question? Write to us here!Read More »from When a Man Can't Keep Up with His Girlfriend's Libido
Dear Em & Lo,
I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years now and we love each other very much, but she is way more into sex than I am. I try to match her libido but she is still too much for me. She also likes to use sex just to pleasure herself or relieve stress, but she's been getting too restless as the years go by. I'm actually getting worried that we may break up because of our differences. I don't know what to do - can you please help?
- Be Careful What You Wish For
First of all, we should admit straight out that we don't have an easy answer for you - in fact, the main reason we chose to answer your letter is because we felt like it would help so many people to read it. Wildly different libidos is one of the most difficult obstacles to overcome in a relationship (well, that and the whole porn issue), but too many people assume that libido problems are all about menwanting sex more than women. In fact,
- EMandLO.com | Love + Sex – Thu, Apr 18, 2013 2:22 PM EDT
The KissRead More »from Top 10 Things You Never Want to Hear After a First Kiss
10. No way, you had spinach for lunch too?!
9. I think I swallowed your filling.
8. Thanks, I'd been meaning to floss.
7. Care for a mint?
6. Can I have a Kleenex? I've got a saliva mustache now.
5. Here's a Kleenex. You've got a little booger.
4. Cold sores aren't the same thing as oral herpes, right?
3. That reminds me, I have to do a go home and do my laundry.
1. My mom would love you.
Crossed legsRead More »from Is Sex on a First Date a Relationship Killer?
Advice from three of EM & LO's guy friends. This week a straight woman asks, "Does sleeping with a guy on a first date really ruin my chances for a future relationship with him? What if it's obvious we really like each other, the chemistry's great, we have a lot in common, and we're both horny?"
Gay Single Guy (Daniel): Thinking that putting out on the first date will kill off any romantic possibilities is pandering to an old skool way of thinking about sex and love: that the guy must court, wait a gazillion years while the woman's heart oh so steadily burns and yearns and he tries to satisfy himself on a nightly basis, Onan-style, until they are finally wedded before sex can even be in the equation. In the 21st century, sex on the first date could very well just mean that you "have a lot in common and were both horny." Sex doesn't always complicate, nor is it always a barrier to further emotional intimacy. On the contrary, in fact. Consider all the gay couples around the world who