Blog Posts by Gretchen Rubin

silverwareOne thing is true about happiness: there are very few new truths out there. The greatest minds in history have turned their attention to the subject, so while it's often challenging to put that wisdom into actual practice, it's pretty clear what kinds of actions are likely to yield a happier life.

Likewise, "tips lists" have been around for a long time. I get a big kick out of uncovering tips lists from the past: Sydney Smith's tips for cheering yourself up from 1820, Francis Bacon's tips for how to be happy from 1625, Lord Chesterfield's tips for pleasing in society from 1774.

In De Civilitate Morum Puerilium Libellus: A Handbook on Good Manners for Children, Erasmus gave seven tips about how to behave yourself around other people. He wrote this list around 1500 A.D., and his advice has a long shelf life.

According to Erasmus, you should not…
1. gossip
2. tell unkind stories
3. boast
4. indulge in self-display
5. seek to defeat others in

gone-fishingRecently, I posted a question: What are the small treats you give yourself?

I was very interested to see the range of "treats" people identified in the comments, and I got some good ideas for myself.

I do think it's important to take time for treats, because treats help us to feel energized, restored, and light-hearted. Without them, we can start to feel resentful, depleted, and irritable. My younger daughter has "Choice Time" every day in first grade, and I think we adults need some "Choice Time" ourselves, at least occasionally.

However, in identifying treats, I wonder if other people face the same challenge that I often face: making time for those treats.

People listed treats like rollerblading, making bread, and a hot bath-all great treats, for the right person, but they take some time and energy to set up.

In my case, one of my favorite treats is reading children's and young-adult literature. Right now my stack includes Diana Wynne Jones's Dogsbody, Robin

hughmacleodHappiness interview: Hugh MacLeod.

Hugh is a cartoonist with a wildly popular blog, gapingvoid. He is the master of capturing a large idea in a single drawing, and a great deal of his work focuses on happiness: how to find happiness in work; how to have the courage to be yourself, do what you love, and take risks; how to build a life around your own values, interests, and temperament.

He has a new book, Freedom Is Blogging in Your Underwear, where he explores how blogging, and the intellectual and creative freedom it gives him, changed his life.

Having a blog isn't the right route to happiness for everyone, of course. But zoikes, it's a thrilling tool. And his book is really about how to think big for yourself and the possibilities that the internet offers.

Gretchen: What's a simple activity that consistently makes you happier?
Hugh: Besides being with my loved ones, the most important and happiest part of my daily routine is finding that quiet, solitary one- or

Each week, I post a video about some Pigeon of Discontent raised by a reader. Because, as much as we try to find the Bluebird of Happiness, we're also plagued by the Pigeons of Discontent.

This week's Pigeon of Discontent, suggested by a reader, is: "I say 'yes'; I want to say 'no'."

I Say Yes; I Want To Say No.

If you want to read more about this resolution, check out…

Why you shouldn't let that dreaded call go to voicemail.

Looking for a way to make your emails more efficient?

Why Gilda Radner, Gene Wilder, and the fundamental attribution error are relevant to happiness.

How about you? Have you found ways to keep yourself from getting over-committed or agreeing to do things that, in the end, you realize that you don't want to be doing? One good personal commandment is "Just say yes"'; another good personal commandment is "Just say no."

treeroots Over the weekend, I re-read Bertrand Russell's The Conquest of Happiness. It's all about happiness (no surprise), but in an aside, Russell explains how he solves difficult intellectual issues.

I think I've followed this strategy myself-not because I cleverly realized it was a good strategy, but because I was stumped, so put aside a question out of sheer desperation. Here's his method:

jenny lawsonHappiness interview: Jenny Lawson, also known as The Bloggess.

Last week, amid a lot of buzz, Jenny Lawson's new book, Let's Pretend This Never Happened: (A Mostly True Memoir) hit the shelves. I couldn't wait to read it, because I'm a big fan of her wildly popular blog, and the book made me laugh out loud. (If you've read it, I will just say "whimsy" was my favorite scene--you know the part I mean.)

Jenny's book is very funny, but it's also very serious, and the theme of happiness runs through it.

Gretchen: What's a simple activity that consistently makes you happier?

Jenny: Drinking? That's probably not a good answer though so let's change it to "watching Anchorman so many times I can say the lines before the actors do."

What's something you know now about happiness that you didn't know when you were 18 years old?

When I was 18 my severe anxiety disorder was still undiagnosed, so I guess what I didn't know then was that one day I would be happy. I wish I

cookiesjar

I've posted this quiz before, but because I think it's such a very helpful thing to know about yourself, I'm posting it again. Recognizing this distinction has been one of the most important insights that I've had into my own nature-more helpful, say, than understanding that I'm an under-buyer, not an over-buyer.

A piece of advice I often see is, "Be moderate. Don't have ice cream every night, but if you try to deny yourself altogether, you'll fall off the wagon. Allow yourself to have the occasional treat, it will help you stick to your plan."

I've come to believe that this is good advice for some people: the "moderators." They do better when they try to make moderate changes, when they avoid absolutes and bright lines.

For a long time, I kept trying this strategy of moderation-and failing. Then I read a line from Samuel Johnson, who said, when someone offered him wine: "Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult."

Ah ha! Like Dr. Johnson, I'm

Each week, I post a video about some Pigeon of Discontent raised by a reader. Because, as much as we try to find the Bluebird of Happiness, we're also plagued by the Pigeons of Discontent.

This week's Pigeon of Discontent, suggested by a reader, is: "No one appreciates me."

No One Appreciates Me.

If you want to read more about this resolution, check out…

Taken for granted? 5 tips for dealing with feeling unappreciated.

5 mistakes I continue to make in my marriage.

Why I try not to do things for others, but instead, do them for myself.

How about you? Do you often feel unappreciated or unacknowledged? How do you deal with it? Gold stars! I crave them.

You can post your own Pigeon of Discontent at any time; also, from time to time, I'll make a special call for suggestions.

You can check out the archives of videos here.

• Facebook announced that it's making changes to help encourage people to spotlight the fact that they've