Blog Posts by PleasureMechanics.com

Is there an imaginary scoreboard above your bed? Many couples act as if they need to stay "even" when it comes to giving and receiving pleasure. Yet, reciprocity is not a one-for-one exchange. It is important to make sure both of your needs and desires are being acknowledged, but you may also find that there is a natural balance within your relationship, or phases of your relationship, that are not "equal." Balance does not have to be symmetrical.

What is essential is to check in with yourself and one another and make sure you are not developing any resentment about how much pleasure one person is receiving and how much stimulation the other is giving. If you are both satisfied and fulfilled by your sex life, that is indeed an accomplishment of a harmonious balance.

We teach the essential erotic skills of both giving and receiving more pleasure through touch. Is there room in your relationship for more pleasure? Do you give or receive more often? How do you create a balance with

After last night's midnight showing of Sex and The City 2, it is clear that you probably won't go see SATC for the sex advice. Go for the reunion with Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte. Go for the fashion and extravagance. Just seeing Liza Minnelli perform "Single Ladies" is well worth the price of a ticket.

But in between the shots of high heels and couture, the Sex and the City ladies offer us an abundance of sex and relationship advice, targeted squarely at those in long term relationships and struggling to keep the "sparkle" of excitement alive.




As sex educators, here are the top 7 lessons we noticed in the film:

1. Take Time Alone How much time do you take to nourish your own needs and desires? Whether you are a busy mom, overworked at your job, or both, taking time to be alone and replenish yourself is essential to a happy relationship and fabulous sex life. No matter how many demands there are on your time, taking a few moments each day to nourish your own needs will go

May is Masturbation Month - so all month long we've been hearing about the latest vibrators, lubes and lotions to get us in the mood for self-stimulation. A new vibrator can be a great thing to experiment with new sensations or add a new flavor to your masturbation routines. But ultimately, masturbation is an act of self-love. But for many people, self-love is really, really hard.



The sexual pleasure you can feel is to do with how much you can allow yourself to feel, not the lover you have. Our culture often talks about love and romance as something that happens to us - the perfect lover comes along and sweeps us off our feet. The perfect lover knows exactly what we want and has the secret keys to unlocking our arousal and turn-on. The truth is, no one else can give you pleasure - you can only receive as much pleasure as you allow yourself. Two people can eat the same exact meal, and one may find absolute gastronomic bliss while the other shrugs and complains about too much salt. You

When do you experience more joy - when you give a gift to a loved one, or when you receive a present? Tough question, right?



For most of us, both giving and receiving gifts can be delightful. Giving and receiving gifts is especially wonderful when the present is "just right" - when you give a gift and the recipient exudes delight, having received something that they really wanted and perhaps wouldn't have bought for themselves. Receiving is the same way - when you get a gift that exceeds your expectations, it feels amazing, right? You feel loved, cared for, "seen" and special.

Pleasurable touch is one of the best gifts we can give one another. Touch is the gift of time, of attention, of love. Most of the time, we focus on the pleasure we receive - from a lover, a meal, a sensual experience. Some source outside of ourselves gives us pleasure, which we get to enjoy. All too often, we forget about the pleasure we can experience by giving. Touching our lover and giving them pleasure can

How much noise do you make during sex? The bed squeaking doesn't count - how much noise do you make?

Many of us learned our arousal patterns while masturbating as a youth - and a lot of us had to be absolutely quiet for fear of discovery. This arousal pattern of silent enjoyment can stick with people well into adulthood.

People are quiet for other reasons - they don't want the neighbors to hear, or they are worried they will sound silly, or they don't want to sound like a porn star. Notice how much noise you do or don't make during both partnered sex and masturbation. Also notice your response when your partner makes noise - do you find it a turn-on or do you get embarrassed?

Making noise is pleasurable for a few reasons. First, noise serves as an important communication to your partner during sex. If you are getting highly aroused by a particular stroke or sensation, letting them know with your noise can tell them to keep it up without having to use words. While words like "Yes,

Like other muscles, the muscles of the pelvic floor can be toned and trained. The pelvic muscles can be strengthened over time, and stronger muscles are capable of stronger contractions, so you can experience stronger orgasms.



A regular practice of pelvic clenches will create a more powerful sensation during arousal and climax. Strengthening these muscles is essential for more sexual pleasure and to maintain your sexual health.

You may have heard pelvic clenches be called Kegels, after Dr. Arnold Kegel, who in 1948 wrote about the sexual health benefits of toning the muscles of the pelvic floor. Clenches are widely endorsed by midwives, doctors, and sex educators alike and are a major practice in the traditions of Tantra and Taoism.

Some describe the Kegel as clenching the muscle you would use to stop the flow of urine. This may be a helpful place to begin finding the muscles of the pelvic floor - but in reality the muscles that start and stops the flow of urine is only one small

Arousal, Erection, Orgasm and Ejaculation are often considered to be a package deal for men: you can't have one without the other. To enjoy more sexual pleasure and erotic freedom, it is essential to dismantle this myth and understand these events to be complementary experiences that may come in any combination.



Arousal: An experience of sexual stimulation and pleasure, visual, tactile or otherwise. Can be brief or prolonged, sought-out or spontaneous. The dictionary definition of "arouse" is "to evoke or awaken." This definition reminds us that arousal awakens the erotic part of us that is always within us, a part of our very being. Stimulation from any number of sources can awaken this energy, bringing our attention more fully to our sexuality and desires.

Erection: A physical response, in which the penis is engorged with blood and becomes more rigid. Both men and women have erectile tissue in their genitals, and both men and women can experience erections. Erection pulls the skin of