Blog Posts by Shallon Lester, Single-ish, Glamour Magazine

By Shallon Lester, Glamour magazine

In my hometown, the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving is a total fustercluck (new word-learn it, love it!) because all of my high school friends pack into the bars to reminisce. And inevitably, I'll run into an ex-BF-I've already had two call me and ask if I'll be around. Mercifully, I'm staying in New York for Turkey Day, so my old dating life won't haunt me this year. But for those of you who are headed out of town, here are my Dos and Don'ts of reconnecting with old boyfriends when you're home for Thanksgiving!

DO say hi if you see him
He sees you, you see him-there's no point in pretending otherwise. Be a grown-up, walk over and say hi, make a little small talk and then peace out if it gets awkward.

DON'T hook up with him for old times' sake
"What's the harm?!" you might ask yourself, especially if you're already feeling stifled and isolated in your hometown. But sex with an ex is usually not the best idea; you'll reopen old issues and

By Shallon Lester, Glamour magazine

I don't know many dudes who will come right out and declare a desire for marriage and domesticity. But that doesn't mean your guy doesn't feel that way--you just might have to do a little dating detective work to pick up on the clues he's leaving. Check out a few sneaky signs that will help you decipher what he really wants!

1. The kitchen is stocked

I knew my last boyfriend was looking for a serious relationship when I spotted a tea kettle in his kitchen. I mean, seriously, a tea kettle? If that isn't the archetype of domestic coziness, I don't know what is. But your man might not be so overt. Small things like a full spice rack, nice knives or a fridge containing more than Bud Light and old mustard could signal a shift in his priorities.

Related: Glamour List: 10 Bad Guys Worth Dating Anyway

2. Nice sheets appear on the bed

I used to only date younger guys, so when I finally started seeing someone three years older than me, I

By Shallon Lester, Glamour magazine

"I just don't understand what happened," cried my friend after meeting the guy of her dreams. "We had SO much chemistry and now he's just…vanished." I told her to just forget it and move on, but what she did instead might surprise you…

My friend F. met this guy while visiting family in Phoenix, and despite the distance, she felt sure that they'd keep in touch. But after a few sporadic phone calls, he stopped reaching out, and she was heartbroken.

"I hate to say it," I said, "but maybe he's just not that into-"

Related: The Best Rejection Strategy I've Ever Heard

"No no!" she protested. "I know where you're going with this and Shallon, HONESTLY, he was. He really was! I think I'm going to email him."

Normally, I don't think it's a great idea to pour your guts out to a guy who isn't calling. Boys know how phones work. If they want to reach you, they will. But she needed closure, so I gave her the green light. He already wasn't

By Shallon Lester, Glamour magazine

It's not the wisest dating strategy, but my friends and I love making up stories to tell the guys we meet at bars. We'll pretend that we're flight attendants from Texas, sea turtle experts, circus performers-you name it. But last weekend, I got a major taste of my own medicine, and it SUCKED.

My friend Amber and I just spent a week in Miami for a little vacay, and we met a super-cute group of guys from Atlanta. They explained that the trip was supposed to be a bachelor party for their friend Chaz, but he had just called off the wedding after he found his girlfriend cheating.

Amber and I gasped and wailed, ordering a round of shots for poor, jilted Chaz and his oh-so-supportive friends.

Related: Five Things Guys Like to Lie About

I hit it off with one guy, Pete, and all of us ended up hanging out for the next few days. They were a completely awesome crew, even sullen little Chaz. Hoping to make him feel a little less alone, I ended up

Betsy and I...after too many Speckled Hens on my part.By Erin Meanley, Glamour magazine

I enjoyed one too many pints of Old Speckled Hen last night. I like a good amber ale, but I didn't always know what drinks I liked. And since we've learned that it's good to know what you want and have a drink in mind when a busy bartender makes eye contact, I put together a primer on the do's and don'ts of cocktail-ordering, with some comments on what, in my experience, guys have liked to see a girl imbibing. I also got a little help from my friend Renee, who is a New York City bartender and who in turn took an informal survey among her male bartender buddies.

DO learn to appreciate a good whiskey.
Renee's informal survey says that whiskey is the sexiest drink-with the caveat that you're drinking it because you like it and you're not just trying to impress. Why so sexy? "It just goes along with a girl's understated confidence-it's smart and still fun." One guy cited the Uma Thurman character in Beautiful Girls as the quintessential whiskey

By Erin Meanley, Glamour magazine

Well, it's day 3 of staying with my parents. It's been pleasurable so far. My mom and I enjoyed a nice beach day yesterday. She is so great to hang out with because she's not nosy. She's just chill. And, as I've said before, my mom never suggests I go out with anyone particular, and when I am dating someone, she doesn't get involved; she lets me figure out on my own that he's a loser or not interested.

Mostly she helps me deal with the aftermath of a relationship-and that's when you need motherly advice most. Here are some helpful things she's told me over the years that I thought I'd pass on. And who is my mom? A wife of 39 years, a mother of two, and a woman who thinks Ryan Reynolds is cute. Smart lady.

1. "Be bright, be brief, and be gone." This was a mantra at a nearby university where my mom worked (i.e. if you have to interrupt a professor, be quick). But it applies to Dear John letters, or all those emails you send after a break-up.

The truth comes out when we've been drinking!By Erin Meanley, Glamour magazine

Okay, if you're following me on Twitter, you know I landed last night and this post has published at 5 a.m. Pacific time. So I'm writing this yesterday. But I wanted to make sure I filled you in on a little intel I got from Erica on Saturday night. We had one last hurrah…

At first we were sitting at the bar, feeling a complex. Well, I was. I couldn't get the bartender to look at me, and he wasn't doing anything. Then six young girls strolled up near the bar, and suddenly he was shouting at them like a barker at an amusement park. They looked about 25. They came over. He did shots with them, then they opened a bottle of champagne. I forgot how easy it was when we were 25!

But I was mollified when an entire bachelor party descended upon us. They were 26, and one of them guessed I was 23, bless his soul. They bought us shots. Careful what you wish for.

Related: 10 Little Dating Mistakes That Could Be Keeping You Single

Anyway, so back to

Speaking of old photos (yesterday) and people looking old (today), I am showing you this pic I unearthed of my great-grandma water-skiing on a giant board of some sort. RANDOM.By Erin Meanley, Glamour magazine

I was on the subway last night, on my way to a party (more about that tomorrow!), when I saw a guy who was sooooo Scott in 20 years. I laughed out loud at the likeness. He wouldn't be flattered by that thought because the guy had a gut bigger than Santa Claus-and it must be said, Scott would never let himself go like that. I mean, the North Pole would have to defrost…actually that might happen because of global warming, but I digress. This man's facial features made him a dead-wringer for a more senior version of Scott. And seeing what could be-a bad version of Scott, like the alternate 1985 in Back to the Future 2, I was kind of glad I am single. Mean?

Related: 10 Little Dating Mistakes That Could Be Keeping You Single

Sometimes I'll look at a guy's photo and put my hand over his hairline to see what he'll look like bald. Isn't that awful? I wouldn't say anything to my husband if he lost his hair-and I know some beautiful bald men-but it's always