Blog Posts by Smitten, Glamour Magazine

by Gena Kaufman


Nobody would understand my pain as much as Hannah Horvath.
If you'd like this story to be about the inspiring feeling of reaching your goal, either in running or love, abandon ship now. This conversation is not for you, running lover. Or dating lover, for that matter.

I started an eight-week Couch to 5K program about six weeks ago, which means I've been complaining for approximately, oh, six weeks. I've always loathed running. It's not just that I'm lazy, per se, it's that I've always preferred other forms of activity, like yoga or dancing or sitting on the couch with a box of Hot & Spicy Cheez-Its. However, I got it in my head that I wanted to be able to run at least a few miles without keeling over, so I've been forcing myself to do the supposedly easy training. Surprise: I STILL HATE IT. But I keep doing it. Which kind of reminds me about how I feel about dating sometimes, especially when I was first getting back in the swing of it last year.

Here are some similarities I've found:

1. Love hurts. Running really, really

by Gena Kaufman


Thayer Allyson Gowdy Last night as I looked around my room, filled with suitcases and boxes and a million piles of clothes messily divided into "Keep" and "Give Away" piles, I knew I had some important work to do before I move back to New York. So naturally, I went downstairs, got a glass of wine, and worked on updating my online dating profile so I could start scoping dating prospects in NYC.

What, you guys? I'll pack later.

Anyway, as I updated my zip code so I could see the guys in my new (again) neck of the woods, I took a look through the rest of my profile, which I haven't done in a while. As I read through it, I noticed that a) I still think my own profile is totally funny and cute and b) it's kind of outdated. Most of what was was written was originally composed back in 2008, my first small brush with online dating during a split with my boyfriend. After we reunited, I shut it down, but when I signed back up years later, I just re-used the original profile, just adding a pic to

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by Samantha Henig

It's a phenomenon called "pre-dating": the online sleuthing you do to learn about a guy's ex, his job, his Spotify playlist. But is it smart? Maybe not if you want, y'know, a relationship.

Is the time you spend with someone's online persona messing with what might develop in real life once you're actually together? Experts say absolutely yes. "Too much information is detrimental," explains Amy Van Doran, a matchmaker in New York City. "It makes it hard to fall in love. For that, you have to be in the moment." Still tempted to snoop? Tough love time. Here are a few hard-core reasons you shouldn't:

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1) You turn into a comparison shopper.

49% of women would cancel a first date because of something they found out about him online, according to a Match.com study.

"You're trying to suss out: Will this person and I have a connection? Actually, there is no evidence that we can assess that online," says

Fairchild Archive

by Gena Kaufman


Ever been cheated on? How do you feel about the woman he cheated with? Less than fondly, probs.

I've been there, done that resentment, so I get it. I'm only human, and when I found out about my boyfriend's affair, you can bet a large, seething chunk of my heart wanted to find that girl and rip every hair out of her unfortunately adorable head. Three things stopped me: My dignity, my desire not to go to jail, and my very firm no girl-on-girl crime mindset. (Okay, and also my lack of upper body strength. I'm not very tough.)

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On last night's episode of The Mindy Project, Mindy and her ex-boyfriend Josh's other ex-girlfriend Heather did not display such restraint when charming Ellie Kemper made a return to the show to let Mindy know she was trying to move into her building. I like this show and adore Mindy Kaling in general, but I didn't love this catfight the first time around, and I was disappointed to see

Carrie knows about revenge fantasies

by Gena Kaufman

I am not above a revenge fantasy. Imagining causing some serious destruction to the guy who wronged you can be so satisfying, it makes for great TV, and it's also better than an Angry Girl Rock playlist as motivation to burn off all those breakup doughnuts at the gym.

But I can't believe it when I read stories of people who went through with it. Are they sometimes funny? Yes. Case in point: This Craigslist ad in Canada posted by a woman selling all her husband's belongings after discovering he was cheating on her. (Sample line: "Don't come too early (like he did).) But are they also kind of sad and sometimes, downright horrifying? YES.


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You guys, seriously. Friends don't let friends do dramatic breakup revenge schemes. No matter how good of an idea it seems at the time, or how satisfying it feels in the direct aftermath, it's always going to bite you in the bitter butt. Let's take a look at just a few of

Fairchild Archive

by Gena Kaufman

Despite the unfortunate rise of the cougar phenomenon (not that dating younger men is unfortunate, just the use of the term cougar), it seems as a society, we're still more into May-December relations when the guy is the December. Or is it the May? I'm not sure I actually know what that expression is supposed to mean.

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Not that I have anything against dating older guys, but here's some afternoon uggghhh: Financial

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by Gena Kaufman

It's a big pile of duh that trust is important in a relationship, but a new study shows it may be important in a way you might not have thought. Trust makes you kind of delusional, and it turns out, that's great for your relationship.

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Being delusional doesn't sound particularly healthy, but in this case it is. It essentially causes people to forget the bad times in a relationship. Here's how the mental shift works: Students in relationships were asked to report their partner's screw-ups over a course of six months, like not being supportive, or forgetting to make Valentine's plans (whoops!), rating them for severity and forgiveness and then re-evaluating their feeling at a later check-in. Participants who reported high levels of trust and commitment tended to forget their anger about their partner's transgressions over time, with memories getting rosier, but the opposite happened for those who didn't trust their

Fairchild Archiveby Ben Kassoy

In the world of online dating, your profile photos aren't everything; they're the only thing. OK, maybe not the only thing, but definitely a very, very important one. As in, way more important than your looks in real life. Yes, that important.

So don't get them wrong. Please take it from me, a seasoned online dater: No matter how attractive you are, the following photo faux pas are apt to get you ignored or, worse, attention from dudes whose own photos are bathroom-mirror selfies. Read on for what not to do, adjust your profile accordingly, and thank me later. Guys hate when you:

1) Include fewer than three photos or more than seven. Yo're either lazy, a catfish, or a lazy catfish. If you are in fact a real person, I'm sure you have literally thousands of photos of yourself, because Facebook. But don't get me wrong: This is not Facebook.

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2) Include only face shots (as in, no full-body ones). What are you hiding?