Blog Posts by Spinsterlicious

When I rejoined the ranks of singles at the age of 38 due to divorce, I turned to internet dating. I was astonished to find that options that I had thought would be unavailable were being offered on a silver platter. Want a marriage-minded guy? There's a site for that. Want a large family? Need someone who shares your love of Worlds of Warcraft? Ditto.

And I discovered something interesting. When I first dated in my mid 20's, it was a given that the women were looking to settle down, to start families. The guys I dated in my 20's were looking to move ahead in their careers, upgrade their cars and have a good time. This time around, it was the opposite. There were scores of men, to paraphrase Beyonce, lining up to put a ring on it.

I was amazed to read profile after profile that said the man in question was looking for someone to: Read more - http://eleanorewells.com/navigating-the-commitment-game/

Aaaargh! Airport travel can be such a pain…all in the name of keeping us safe. When the 9/11 Terrorist Attack first hit, I had to travel the following week for business. I remember thinking: "I don't care what rules the TSA (Transportation Security Administration) comes up with; I'll do anything they want, as long as it keeps us safe." And I meant it.

But here we are 10+ years later and when I think of going through an airport security line, my eyes glaze over. Of course, I still want us all to be safe, but I can't help but think, sometimes, that successfully passing through security unscathed (unsearched, un-patted-down) is more of a challenge than it needs to be.

At many airports, we now have the choice of being felt up or posing for a semi-pornographic pic. I exaggerate, but that's the kind of language used by some people who protest these procedures. I actually don't think it's that bad… but then, I've been accused of having mildly exhibitionist tendencies.

The

I have a pretty good life: great relationships with my family and a fabulous circle of good friends, an active social life, good health, lots of travel, and I support charitable organizations with my money and time. I adore my 13-year-old Yorkie, Danny. Despite all this goodness, though, I still come across people who look at my life and feel sorry for me…because I'm not married. (It happened again just the other day with a woman I met in the dentist's office.) And I don't get it.

Marriage is not for everyone, and the high divorce rate corroborates this. And the U.S. Census says that while only 28% of U.S. adults were unmarried in 1970, that percentage rose to 47% in 2010. Plus, a 2011 study by the Pew Research Institute found that the number of U.S. adults who are unmarried is now 49%, a record high. So, there's a lot of single people out there, and I'm a little baffled why people act like being single is such a bad thing. It's not.

I've been single all my life. In fact, I

As soon as Labor Day is over, it seems the big holiday season is upon us. And so the stress begins. Holidays can be challenging to just about everybody. There are decisions to be made, plans put in place, and money to be spent. And while this is true for everyone, many single people feel an extra layer of stress.

The holidays would be tough if I didn't have a loving network of people around me. I make it work. For example, I often host Thanksgiving for what I call my "straggler" friends: it includes single people, those who can't or don't want to get with their family, people whose plans changed at the last minute, and couples without children. (I have to draw the line somewhere).

The holidays get a bad rap, though, because they're often quite good: there's the feeling of festivity in the air, the parties, the gifts, the music, and catching up with people you like but haven't seen in awhile. And some things about being single are actually better during the holidays because

I've been on more than a few bad dates in my lifetime, but I haven't had a seriously bad date in a long time. That's because I've learned what to do…and what not to do. Here's a few tips on how to cut your "oh no!" dates down to a minimum (and, of course, I'm assuming that the badness in the bad date is not your fault):

The Only Tip You Really Need

• ▪ Make the first date a short date. Meet for coffee and dessert. Or a drink. The first date should last an hour. You can tolerate anything for an hour, right? If you like each other, you can always schedule another one for another day.

If you ignore the above tip and find yourself out on a good-date-gone-bad, first consider how bad it really is, on a scale of 1-10. What you should do next… Read more: http://eleanorewells.com/yikes-this-date-sucks-now-what-or-how-to-survive-a-bad-date/

I recently received the followed letter from a reader of The Spinsterlicious Life:
"I was just curious if you've ever touched on the subject of singles being invited to countless kids' parties...when they don't have kids of their own? I'm reminded of Carrie on the Sex & the City episode where she went to the kid's party and someone stole her shoes and the hostess was mortified when Carrie asked to be reimbursed. I feel obligated to go to my cousin's kid's parties...but really don't want to! I know I should take that up with her but I'm curious how others handle these situations."


Yeah, being expected to attend the parties of your friends' (and family's) kids is one of the burdens the childfree must bear. Here's what I think: I think the parents are confused. I think they think that because you love their kid that you want to come to their party. And that might be true if their kid was the only kid at the party. What they fail to take into consideration is that it's a kids party…

I like the finished product, but not the necessary work to get there. What I mean by this is that I want to look good, but I don't really like the beautifying process. I like things easy. So, the theme for this week's Fab Friday Favorites is Lazy Beauty...short-cutting the process to looking good.

Hair
I don't like going to the hairdresser. I have my hair done at Mane Advocates...but not nearly often enough. Tamara constantly reminds me that I should, at minimum, come in every 6-8 weeks for a trim. When I couldn't seem to do that, she lowered it to every 3 months. I can't seem to do that either. I love the way she does my hair, and my not going has nothing to do with her. It has everything to do with the fact that it takes too long. For me, "too long" is an hour. I get restless. So, on the recommendation of a friend, I bought a wig from Hadiiya Barbel. I don't wear it all the time, but I like having it available on bad hair days. Days that say "it's probably time for color

The New York Times recently ran an article that explored the concept of renewable marriage contracts, meaning a marriage would "expire" after 5 years or 20 years or whatever the term would be and at the end of the term the couple was free to walk away or renew their marriage. The gist of the article is that marriage is changing: people are getting married later in life and many are choosing not to marry at all; the divorce rate is high, and some are wondering whether marriage is becoming obsolete or, at least undergoing an overhaul.

The article talks about the idea of a marriage contract with an expiration date as merely acknowledging the truth that many marriages just don't work. Dr. Virginia Rutter of Framingham University in Massachusetts believes in "eliminating the fantasy of marriage."

So it got me to thinking… Read more: http://eleanorewells.com/would-having-an-end-date-help-a-marriage/