Blog Posts by SurferRob

I was out with some friends last night, male and female, and a topic came up that I can't get out of my head….in a good way.

The question was simple….what things (other than real foreplay or actual sex) can another person do to put you in an instant "rip your clothes off" frame of mind.

Here's a couple that stood out in my mind:

Male friend - "When my wife walks around in one of my dress shirts and nothing else"

Female friend - "When he leaves little notes around the house telling me how he feels about me and what he wants to do when he gets home"

Male friend - "Watching her through the glass when she's in the shower"

Female friend - "When he sneaks up behind me and nibbles my neck"

Male friend - "A text telling me she can't wait to get home….she feels like being a little naughty"

Female friend - "When I come home and the house is clean….the sheets on the bed have been changed….the garbage is emptied"

There was quite a bit more but those were

Let me "set the table" - I was out with three of "my boys" last night - just a couple of beers and some dinner. Two of them are married and the other two (myself included) are single. Now the other single guy and I are both divorced (neither of us have kids, and I've been divorced for about six years), so we have some experience in relationships and dating after divorce.

The other single guy brings up the fact that he's just broken it off with a lady he was seeing - and he was pretty bummed about it. I've met her and she seemed very cool, smart and attractive. They'd been dating for almost a year and had discussions about making it more permanent, but what killed it was sex….or lack thereof. He stated that sex was fantastic and frequent in the "honeymoon" stage, but after about six months it took a marked downward turn. There were always reasons NOT to have sex - too tired….too stressed….hormones…..and finally she stated that "sex just wasn't as important to her than it was for

Last night was a very nice night…a bit warm….a little breeze…quiet - at least it was at that moment. I had to go over some material for a presentation today, so I settled onto the couch with my dogs and opened the window in my living room. I know the material front and back, but I wanted to just add some notes.

About twenty minutes later I can hear one of my dogs start to snore, so look up from the laptop and just watched him. I'm snickering to myself as I watch (nothing funnier than watching a dog snore) and start to go back to work. It's at this point that I hear the unmistakable sounds of a woman moaning next door. I live in a townhouse and my living room window is just below and to one side of the neighbors' master bedroom. I'm guessing that the window is open or I wouldn't be hearing the happenings above me.

I try to concentrate on my work and ignore it….but it's obvious the passion is building as the sounds are getting louder and now she's adding some encouraging

Apparently, I'm a one man focus group for three of my female friends/colleagues. I periodically get a meeting request for lunch with the subject line reading "Is the Doctor in?". They get a guys perspective on things, and I get lunch on them…not a bad deal.

So, I just got back from this lunch and I'm not sure "the doctor" had the right prescription…so I'm going to throw it out to all of you.

The Setup:

The three ladies in question - great friends and colleagues….very smart….all attractive…fun people. One is married, one lives with her long-time boyfriend and the other is single and actively dates.

The Topic:

Male menopause - Fact or fiction. Not just a bad day….but they've noticed a wretched mood that lasts for days.

The two attached ladies are firm believers that it exists…the single one is on the fence, but has seen shades of it in guys she's dated. All have noticed that their beaus have displayed moodiness on a semi-cyclical basis and want to know why….is

Opportunities lost….whether it be for Mister/Miss Right…or Mister/Miss Right Now…we all have those times in our lives when we have 20/20 hindsight and wonder, "why didn't I…..". I've got two examples:

First - I was 17 and being recruited to play water polo at UCLA. My dad and uncle joined me and it was a great trip. The coach offered me an opportunity to join the team and I jumped at it. So it was time to celebrate and my dad and uncle took me to a local restaurant/bar. As they enjoyed a beer (and I had a Coke since I was not 21) at the bar a very beautiful older woman engaged me in conversation. She was very nice and seemed enthralled with the conversation. From my perspective I was thinking that everyone in town was very nice and it reinforced my choice of college. After about an hour of talking I was nudged by dad and uncle telling me we had to leave. I said my goodbyes and she gave me her business card. In the car, they busted out laughing…..they instantly asked if I

I just ran across the article/video of the fallen Navy SEAL's funeral where his dog lies down next to the casket. The dog simply lies down and sighs mightily as if waiting for his owner to wake up and scratch his head. Simply heartbreaking.....makes you want to reach out and let this poor creature know that it'll be ok.

Nothing but respect for that gentleman and grieve for the loss of a good man - to the family, to his collegues still fighting the good fight...but for now it's simply about a dog that exemplifies the meaning of love. Here's hoping we all can love someone or something like that in our lives.

I've overcome the little league kid calling me "Sir" when I asked if his team won the game....only damage were the couple of gray hairs that instantly sprouted on top of my head. I can deal with this stuff.

BUT - some names and references cannot be overcome. Case and point - I was with a "new acquaintance" this weekend and it was incredibly hot......shaping up to be an epic session. Then she dropped the dreaded phrase, "You're my Daddy". Insert sound bite of a record scratching.

To say this was a "buzz kill" would be like saying that you're going to get mildly wet standing in front of a tsunami. Couldn't get past it.

Conversely - I've called a woman by another name before and that went over equally as well....like a lead balloon.

So here's the question - ever had someone say something "in the middle of" that killed it completely?

In conversation with friends over the weekend, someone asked me point blank - "Did I adopt my two dogs to attract women?"

After feigning shock and dismay I had to fess up…it entered my line of thinking. BUT - it was not the sole reason…it was a byproduct. Since I was living alone after my divorce and wanting dogs, I chose to rescue two dachshunds (wiener dogs) - a father and son combo that I've had for five years. They are MY BOYS and I couldn't love them more. I take them everywhere and you can tell they thoroughly enjoy coming with me to the beach….having breakfast at a café….etc.

Did I know that they would be magnets for attracting women? Probably. It has surprised me just how effective those two little guys are…they are instant 'icebreakers' and the reaction ranges from a huge smile at the very least to a high squeal of "aren't they cute". So with this knowledge I did just "happen" to walk near this one particular person that I had seen at my favorite surf spot and got