Blog Posts by SoCalResident

I was a student in college when the Rodney King beating took place. I'll never forget the trademark comment he made after the riots.... "can we all just get along?" So simple, yet so profound. That motto resounds countless times in my head over the years. To this day, I'm confused and saddened by things out of my control that make no sense. Couldn't we all just get along?

The same can be said about love, relationships, men, women, friends, exes.... the list goes on. Why can't we all just be civil adults that accept what happens in life and move on with dignity and respect for each other? Oh, here I go again assuming that everyone else thinks like me, and since I feel like we owe these small acts of kindness to each other, that obviously, everyone else will feel the same way. I've been wrong before for assuming such things, and it seems I have a hard time learning life's lessons.

When my ex left, I cried. A lot. I remember driving my kids to school and having to lift my

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You are not alone, Michael Jackson. We are with you, as you are with us, for every soul that you have touched during your legacy. Rest in peace.

What is the biggest hindrance I've had so far in my love life? Beauty. There's no if's and's or but's about it. I've been heartbroken one too many times, and what, pray tell, is the common thread with each guy that disappeared? He would gush about how "beautiful" he thought I was. I've come to learn that he was talking about physical attributes and not the spiritual kind. That kinda sucks. Actually, it really sucks!

As I look back throughout the years of wondering how attractive I am to the opposite sex, I've had many mixed messages. As a teenager, I had a few crushes, and in the end, none of them would "make any moves" on me. It left me wondering if I looked like a freak, or if the guy was a closet homosexual, or maybe I just repelled men by nature. Over the years, I've learned that these men really were attracted to me, but were too shy to make any moves. How do I know? Well, let's just say chatting on Facebook can reveal a lot of hidden mysteries.

Now mind you, I have

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Having a bored moment before having to go out for a reporting assignment, I was reading through some old messages on Facebook. The guy friend of mine that I've been "non-dating" hasn't contacted me for a while, so being the recovering love addict, I let curiosity get the best of me. Here comes the emotional roller coaster of highs and lows as I begin to wonder: does he still find me attractive? Did I do something wrong to scare him away? Maybe he's seeing someone else and I'm no longer interesting? And so on. I've tried to plug in my cognitive behavioral therapy by recognizing the negative thought and trying to replace it with a positive one, but darn it, the insecure thoughts are like gnats at a picnic, and just won't relent!

So, as I read through messages that go back to the days after my ex moved out (about a year and a half ago), I could see how interested he was in me, and my happiness. It seemed genuine, and he would always follow up every few months to see how I was doing. And

Read More »from User Post: I Want My Teenage Innocence Back, And I Don't Mean My Virginity!

Forgive me for putting it out there so bluntly, but it's a question that has been racking my mind lately. I have read countless times in dating advice articles, that if you want a long term relationship with a man, you should hold off on having sex. But how long?

Ironically, I've been on what I call a "man diet," and swore off men until I have a better grasp of things sort of out of control in my life. But I was approached by a guy friend and he invited himself to come with me to do a restaurant review. I didn't think much of it, and kept calling it a "non-date." But then he asked me out again. And again. He called our meetings "snacking" during the "man diet." The non-dates became romantic meetings where we laugh, kiss and feel like teenagers. I should have known there is no such thing as a "non-date," just like there is no such thing as "snacking" during a "man diet"-- the hormones are the real deal!

To be fair, one of the pre-requisites to ending my "man diet" was

Read More »from Dating Advice Needed! How Long Before You Say "I Do" To Sex?

For my most recent writing assignment, I have to list the qualities that men find most attractive in women when dating. One thing I'm good at is researching topics and reporting on them (hence my journalism background). Ironically, I am being paid to give advice on a subject I'm really clueless about. Don't get me wrong: many men have told me how "attractive" I am, and I have enough self confidence to know there's something about me that turns men on. When it comes to catching a man and keeping him, I have been met with failure multiple times. But I'm learning from my mistakes, and getting insider tips sure does help!

So, I offer you the fruits of my knowledge from my own experience and the information I've been given from experts on dating, relationships and the differences between men and women. Take each tip with a grain of salt (after all, I'm the messenger, not the messiah when it comes to relationships!).

1. Be confident. Nothing says "I'm sexy" to a man than a woman

Read More »from 10 Secrets To Attracting Men-- No Hard Work Required

I was out with a male friend recently, and as I told him the stories of my brief relationships with men, he laughed and called me a "serial monogamist." I'd heard that phrase before, but suddenly it dawned on me that it was a true description of my behavior. Apparently, soon after meeting a guy that shows me a little attention, I take on the martyr role, and date him exclusively-- believing that somehow I'll win bonus points for being so faithful.

When I was dating a man that I had been messaging for months, I fell quickly into the serial monogamist mode. In fact, I'd fallen for him already (even before meeting him in person) from his lovely, heart-felt, caring messages. We'd been on one date where he showed up with a picnic for us in the park, and I commented, "this is the best sandwich I've had in my life!" I became starry-eyed, thinking about how this was the first man who ever made me a sandwich. Silly? Yes, but being the caregiver for the most part of my life, and just coming

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OK, guys, since you asked for it in the comments about "The 7 Deadly Mistakes Women Make," I've decided to post the worst blunders men make when dating. I've done some research on the subject, and my pointers are coming from a female perspective (so I've been there and done that). Remembering these 7 key "no-nos" should help when initially dating a woman. Whether or not there will be any chemistry is entirely up to the moment, but avoiding these mistakes might help make some sparks:

1. Too much, too soon. Guys feel physical attraction in an instant, and want to move in as quickly as possible. Some women take longer to decide if they are attracted to a man, but if a guy becomes an octopus too quickly, he will creep her out faster than a horror flick. Trying to move in with a kiss or blurting out too quickly how you feel about a woman will put awkward pressure on her. Take it easy, and make her feel comfortable around you.

2. Talking too much and not listening. This goes for both men

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