"Baby steps, every day." That is my motto that has given me strength since my ex moved out Christmas morning in 2009. I have been grateful for the caring souls that reached out to me in my time of need, and their words of wisdom resound in my head every so often-- as needed. It's okay to backslide occasionally when a moment of weakness discombobulates your inner peace, just keep focusing on your goals and move forward. Even snails at their slow speed eventually get to where they are headed.
So, I'm officially off the market (and have been since January). Oh, yeah, it's hard sometimes-- who doesn't miss the intimacy, cuddling, and sharing long, romantic kisses? But I have a new mantra: "I don't NEED anything." Well, sure, the basic necessities of living, and the companionship of people I love. But I'm learning that being single is quite liberating, and EMPOWERING! The best method of breaking a bad habit (which for me is being codependent), is to avoid the situation. I have no one in
Blog Posts by SoCalResident
Recovering love addict seeking answers for codependent behavior
By SoCalResident | Love + Sex – Wed, Mar 2, 2011 11:50 PM EST
Read More »from Recovering love addict seeking answers for codependent behavior
"Romeo and Juliet", Sir Francis Dicksee (1884)
As a recovering love addict, I'm trying to make peace with the fact that I become codependent, and lose myself whenever I fall in love with a man. Since women are raised with the nurturing quality, we (mostly) automatically assume we have to "care for others," and "fix things," even when our own needs aren't being met. Is there any chance of breaking the chain of events, or am I destined to always be the "caregiver" for a man I love? Since I realize (after a man breaks up with me) that I lose myself and focus mostly on the relationship, I've decided to "just say 'no' to the drug" (which is falling in love). I would like to have a healthy relationship some day, but I wonder if I will be strong enough to keep boundaries in the future. Any thoughts of how to avoid the pitfalls of love addiction/co-dependency?
