Susan TollesHow many times a day do you say "I'm sorry?"
I was with a friend recently, and we began discussing how often we take responsibility for things that are really out of our control. "I'm sorry your party was rained out." "I'm sorry you missed the luncheon today." "I'm sorry but I don't agree." "I'm sorry you are sick today." "Sorry about that!" The list goes on and on.
Too often, we think we have to make up for things that aren't just right. In our self-appointed role as "manager of the universe," we want to make everyone feel better when things aren't going well. Our nature is to soothe pain and resolve conflict. But why do we think we have to apologize when bad things happen that are totally out of our control? Why do we feel the need to ask for forgiveness just for expressing an opinion?
For me, the lessons of overusing "I'm sorry" are powerful reminders that we don't have to be anything more than who we are, and we can release our self-appointed responsibility for every
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