Blog Posts by Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

Do you stand up for yourself when it comes to love and money? It's not just about spending what you want -- it's about being honest with your partner about what you spend...and, it's about getting respect from your partner about his spending habits.

This mini-test for assertive communication will help figure out if you're a financial pushover. If you're not a pushover, congratulations! If you are, check out the seven ways to be financially stronger. After all, if you can't be honest and strong with your lover, who can you be yourself with?

"Studies show that assertive communication can help build personal confidence, assist with managing stress and anger, and improve coping skills for emotional health and well-being," says psychologist and author Sari Shepphird. "Assertive communication is the perfect midpoint between aggressiveness and passivity - you avoid needlessly hurting others, yet you are sure to see results."

Being assertive in your relationship is about

Are your sisters yelling, your parents arguing, or your brothers braying? Maybe you're the "raging relative" who needs to be calmed down! Fighting with family members is normal and sometimes even healthy. But, if those arguments cause problems in other aspects of life, then they need attention.

Check these tips for raging relatives -- you might find a helpful way to cope with family members you love, but just can't get along with...

1. Know when to draw the line. On my How to Cope With Difficult Parents article, many readers describe toxic relatives who cause a lot of harm to themselves and their family members. My readers ask the same question over and over: "How can I stop my brother/parent/uncle/family member from doing it again?" It depends on the situation, of course, but many times the answer is found in letting your relatives face the consequences. If you keep protecting them from natural consequences, they'll keep acting the same way.

2. Figure out what the "natural

Growing up, were you told that men know more about money than women? According to one financial guru, men and women see money totally differently because of how they were raised. And, these opposing perspectives are the root of many money fights in relationships.

For instance, women see money in terms of relationships, and men use money to keep score. Women are less likely to advocate for themselves if they're in financial difficulties.

"What gets women in trouble when it comes to getting and keeping the job they want, or accumulating the portfolio they need to live financially independent lives, is the tendency to act like the "nice girls" they were taught to be in childhood, as opposed to acting like intelligent, capable, deserving adult women," writes Lois Frankel in Nice Girls Don't Get Rich: 75 Avoidable Mistakes Women Make with Money.

Here are Frankel's 11 ways men and women see money differently -- beginning with a few messages most girls get about money as they're growing

Are you lugging around a ton of baggage from a past relationship (or several past relationships?). You're not alone -- my most popular articles are about breaking up and getting back together. It can be such a struggle to move on after a relationship ends -- even when we know the relationship is unhealthy or bad for us.

These five ways to heal heartache are based on my readers' questions and comments about ending a relationship...

But first, here's one of my favorite quips:

"Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together." ~ Anonymous.

Ending a relationship hurts, even when you know you're no good together. But just because it hurts to break up, doesn't mean you're supposed to stay together! A broken relationship may leave shards of glass behind…and you may need to walk away. Letting go of someone you love is hard, but it may be the best thing you could ever do.

To let go and heal...

1.

Sexual harassment at work takes many forms (lewd innuendos, long stares, tushie touches) - but, luckily, for every type of harassment there's a way to deal with it!

These tips for stopping sexual harassment at work range from defining sexual harassment to collecting evidence; they're based on one of my readers' questions on my Dealing With Office Politics? 9 Ways to Make Work Better article. She's experiencing sexual harassment, and asked for tips for dealing with it.

Before we jump in, remember that there are many paths to dealing with sexual harassment at work. Before you read these tips and think, "But that won't work because…", stop for a moment. Open your mind to the possibility that one of these tips might work if you explored it a bit further…and any tip can lead to a different, perhaps more effective way to create a better work environment !

1. Figure out what sexual harassment is -- and how you're experiencing it. You have the right to go to work without fear,

My friend Michelle spends every paycheck she gets, and then some. She doesn't seem to care that she's in debt up to her eyeballs. And every time we hang out, I end up spending money that I don't have! Do you have friends like that -- friends who seem to encourage you to spend, spend, spend?

If you've been struggling with debt for a long time, maybe it's time to re-evaluate your friendships. Here are five ways to make sure your friends are helping you establish good financial habits...…

1. Stick with the friends you don't feel the need to impress. "We decide we want to be debt-free," writes Gail Vaz-Oxlade in Debt-Free Forever. "Yet we go out and charge up a storm, buying expensive stuff for our homes, our friends and family, ourselves, ignoring the fact that when the bill comes in, we won't be able to pay it in full. If it's common sense to only spend what you can afford, why do so many people spend money they don't have?" She says it's the social pressure to conform - which we

If your kids weren't born good with money, don't fret! These 23 ways to help your kids be more money savvy will teach them good money habits -- even if you're not a financial whiz like Suze Orman.

"How are learning to a ride bike and learning about money similar?" asks Karyn Hodgens, creator of KidsSave. "Both involve kids being ACTIVE participants."

Here, Hodgens reveals how parents can teach kids about money. By the way, these money tips are great for adults, too - especially those who want to want to establish good financial habits in their own lives. It's never too late!

23 Ways to Make Your Kids More Money Savvy

1. Help your kids make a list of money makers (bonds, mutual funds, etc.) and money losers (those really nifty sunglasses you never wear).
2. Teach your child to make a pros/cons list before spending money on an expensive item.
3. Ask your kid to think about something he recently bought that he really wanted. What were his feelings about the item before he bought

You may know a gazillion money tips -- you can even work with and write about money every day, like me -- but there's a big difference between knowing about money and applying what you know to your daily life!

For instance, I've known for 20 years that I should create a household budget...but do you think I've gotten around to it? Not even close.

It takes time and effort to whip a slovenly financial life into shape, but once you do, you're set for life. To take control of your personal finances, read The Cure for Money Madness: Break Your Bad Money Habits, Live Without Financial Stress--and Make More Money!

And, here are six ways to apply money tips to your daily life…

1. Activate two tips a month. There are smart ways to save money everywhere - the internet, books, your rich old aunt, on placemats at funky restaurants. Don't try to implement every tip you find; instead pick two a month. Focus on making those two tips part of your life. In a month or six weeks, find two