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    Blog Posts by EMandLO.com

    • Dear Em & Lo: I Climax Too Early (and I'm a Woman)!

      roller coaster
      Dear Em & Lo ,

      I'm an 18-year-old girl/woman and I want to be more sexually active, but every time I have sex with my boyfriend I orgasm super quickly (like in less than 5 minutes) and it feels weird to keep going. What should I do? I really want to keep up with my boyfriend but he says he could go for hours but I can only last for minutes.

      -- Early Bird

      Dear Early Bird,

      We're publishing your letter despite the fact that we know how many of our female readers will be thinking, And her problem is what, exactly? This is one of those problems that a lot of women would love to have. But just like there are men out there who can't enjoy sex because their penis is too big, there are women like you who are troubled by how quickly and easily they climax. (And we suppose there are men and women alike who truly believe that it ain't easy being beautiful -- but that's for another advice column .)

      We're not entirely sure what you mean when you say that it feels "weird" to

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    • Do Men Really Care About Their Partner's Flexibility?

      yoga positionAdvice from three of EMandLO.com's guy friends. This week they answer the following: "Do men really care about how flexible their partners are in bed?" To ask the guys your own question, click here.

      Single Straight Guy (Scott): Sure, flexibility is great… but I don't need you to be able to lock your legs behind your head. In fact, I've never had an issue of a woman not being flexible enough for what we were doing. So no, it's really not a big deal.

      Married Straight Guy (Ben): Flexible as in easy going personality, then yes. I don't want to be with a high maintenance person who cannot roll with the punches. Sometimes life happens and the best laid plans fall apart. Physically flexible, who wouldn't want that? I don't think members of either gender or sexual orientation want someone who is stiff and can't move. So get out those yoga mats.

      Single Gay Guy (Abraham): It's just as much a big deal as penis length is for you gals - a happy medium is always appreciated! It's great to have the

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    • What If You Were the Opposite Sex for the Day?

      Tootsie/Dustin HoffmanWhat would you do if you were the opposite sex for a day? What if you were the opposite sex for a month? For a year?

      Leave your response in the comments section below (feel free to share your age, sex, relationship status, etc., if it's relevant to your answer). And check out what some of the Em & Lo readers have said in response to the question here .

      MORE FROM EM & LO:
      -- Phrase of the Week: Sex Nerd
      -- Can Any Woman Ejaculate?


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    • Why I Lied About Being a Virgin

      cherriesA female friend of ours, a recent college grad who wishes to remain anonymous, has a confession to make:

      When I got to college, I was still carrying around my V card in my back pocket. By then, I had read erotica, watched porn, masturbated, made out furiously with high school boyfriends, even experienced cunnilingus - it just didn't make sense to me (and, I feared, to everyone else at school) that I hadn't had intercourse yet. I figured, with some annoyance, that my intact hymen was going to be a major speed-bump on the road to on-campus sexual satisfaction.

      Turns out it was also a blow to my on-campus self-esteem. At my college - a very liberal, sex-positive place - everyone was having sex, and talking about having sex, and thinking about having sex. Everyone but me, it seemed. When the topic would come up among friends, I would sit blushing in the corner with nothing to say, uncomfortably aware of my status as outsider, as freak.

      My virginity had to go! It didn't matter

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    • What Do Men Really Think About Cuddling?

      cuddlingAdvice from three of EMandLO.com's guy friends. This week they answer the following: "What do men really think about cuddling?" To ask the guys your own question, click here.

      Straight Single Guy (Adam): It's hard to make a declaration on behalf of all straight single guys as to what they think of cuddling. However, would you like to guess who likes cuddling, is in touch enough with his feelings to admit it, and has two thumbs? This guy! I personally enjoy cuddling, I really really do, if it's A) with the right girl and B) not being done while watching any movie starring Sarah Jessica Parker (except Space Camp, because who doesn't love that flick?). In fact, I've found that my desire level for cuddling can be a good barometer for how much I'm actually into a girl. If it's low, that usually means something isn't right with the relationship. If it's high, it means I'm probably going to regret the day I eventually screw it up.

      Straight Married Guy (David Jacobs): Cuddling's okay when it's

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    • How Men Can Improve Their Number One Guy

      Dear Dr. Joe,Droopy Dog

      My er*ction isn't at as high an angle as it once was (it's a little droopier). Is there anything I can do to get that standing-at-attention look back?

      - Droopy Dog

      Dear D.D.,

      The firmness of your er*ction is based upon a number of factors -- nerve stimulation, blood supply, and psychological attitude. Depending upon your age, deficiencies in any, or all, of these components can lead to weaker er*ctions. This decrease in turgor will cause your er*ction to appear a bit "droopier." Let's get one thing straight, though. As men age, er*ctions weaken a bit - that's just an unfortunate fact. While a healthy man should be able to attain er*ctions adequate for love-making for his entire life, the strength of that er*ction is unlikely to be the same at 50 as it was at 18. So don't be too critical with yourself.

      First off, have you had any recent trauma, especially to the lower back or the groin area? Have you been diagnosed with any medical problems,

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    • The Top 3 No-No's for a Straight Woman on a 1st Date

      No entry
      Advice from three of EMandLO.com's guy friends. This week they answer the following: "
      What are the top 3 no-no's for a woman to do on a first date?" To ask the guys your own question, click here.

      Committed Gay Guy (Dwayne):
      1. talking about ex boyfriends
      2. planning the wedding
      3. crying

      Married Straight Guy (Jake): This is the kind of thinking that we need to break away from. There are no three top things, three best things, three worst things that will make your first date the best. Checklists that other people create for you can cause neurosis, unnecessary worrying and sweaty palms. This is a battered and bruised cliché, but seriously, just be yourself. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by acting, talking, eating and laughing naturally. Anything else is a waste of time.

      Single Straight Guy (Megan): My most recent first date turned into four dates in the same day with the same woman. She broke quite a few rules from my style manual. She made fun of my cardigan. (I still

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    • 5 Reasons to Leave the Lights On

      light bulbIn the movie Manhattan, Diane Keaton says to Woody Allen that he's the kind of man she could see herself have kids with - naturally, he tells her to hit the lights. It's common in movies for the dimming of the lights to be a signal for getting it on (I suppose it helps them steer clear of NC-17 ratings). Like most movie sex, I tend to disagree. I'm not saying you need to see each other under the unappealing cast of florescent lighting - just use a dimmer switch or light some candles. Here are five reasons why:

      1. Sex is considered very much a physical activity - let's get physical, Olivia Newton John sang. Touching each other makes us feel good. However, I think humans are more complicated than that: visuals can make us feel good too. Let's get visual!
      2. Seeing your partner and having your partner see you brings a new level of intimacy to the experience.
      3. Not only does it allow you to better get to know your partner, but you'll also know where you're going. Going down on
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    • Do Men Have Elaborate Fantasies like Women Do?

      Bunny maskAdvice from three of EMandLO.com's guy friends. This week they answer the following: "Do guys ever have elaborate fantasies (Riding a white horse to a naked maiden? Being captured as a porn star's slave?), or do their fantasies tend to be more prosaic?" To ask the guys your own question, click here.

      Straight Engaged Guy (Mark Luczak): Guys' fantasies probably tend to be less Fabio-covered romance novel-esque, but that doesn't mean they necessarily lack in poetic beauty (yes, I had to double-check the definition of "prosaic" - I thought it was an antidepressant). Since we're stereotypically more strictly visual and to-the-point, our fantasies can run the wide range from "hot co-worker spontaneously jumping our bones" to "hot neighbor spontaneously jumping our bones" to "hot girl walking down the street spontaneously jumping our bones." If we really want to get elaborate, we'll mix in a porn star, or two.

      Gay Single Guy (Daniel): I think guys can have very elaborate fantasies, but that

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    • How to Stay Healthy Down There

      flowers in a meadowEvery few weeks, Dr. Vanessa Cullins , a board-certified obstetrician/gynecologist and vice president for medical affairs at Planned Parenthood , answers your questions on EMandLO.com . To ask her your own question, click here .


      Dear Dr. Vanessa,

      What should I be doing (or not doing) to have the healthiest vulva/vagina? (Foods, cleaning, etc.)

      - Spring Cleaning

      Dear S.C.,

      Treating your lady parts to a little TLC by backing off the multitude of vulvar and vaginal cosmetics that stack drugstore shelves is a great place to start. A lot of women don't understand what is best for the good health of their vulvas and vaginas. They get all kinds of conflicting ideas from friends and relatives. Many women, for example, douche. Douching can cause vaginitis, so the first rule is: don't douche unless your doctor or nurse advises you to do so.

      Nobody wants a stinky bottom. Wipe well, always from front to back, after urination and bowel movements. Always make sure that you

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