Straight Engaged Guy (Mark Luczak): Guys' fantasies probably tend to be less Fabio-covered romance novel-esque, but that doesn't mean they necessarily lack in poetic beauty (yes, I had to double-check the definition of "prosaic" - I thought it was an antidepressant). Since we're stereotypically more strictly visual and to-the-point, our fantasies can run the wide range from "hot co-worker spontaneously jumping our bones" to "hot neighbor spontaneously jumping our bones" to "hot girl walking down the street spontaneously jumping our bones." If we really want to get elaborate, we'll mix in a porn star, or two.
Gay Single Guy (Daniel): I think guys can have very elaborate fantasies, but that
Dear Dr. Vanessa,
What should I be doing (or not doing) to have the healthiest vulva/vagina? (Foods, cleaning, etc.)
- Spring Cleaning
Dear S.C.,
Treating your lady parts to a little TLC by backing off the multitude of vulvar and vaginal cosmetics that stack drugstore shelves is a great place to start. A lot of women don't understand what is best for the good health of their vulvas and vaginas. They get all kinds of conflicting ideas from friends and relatives. Many women, for example, douche. Douching can cause vaginitis, so the first rule is: don't douche unless your doctor or nurse advises you to do so.
Nobody wants a stinky bottom. Wipe well, always from front to back, after urination and bowel movements. Always make sure that you
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Consider this advice on what NOT to say on a first (or second or third or fourth or fifth...) date:
For three consecutive years, I participated in my university's production of The Vagina Monologues. The piece I performed was entitled "Hair." The moral of this story? You have to love hair in order to love the vagina - you can't just pick the parts you want! For the first two years, I made the case for pubic hair while proudly sporting a nice little bush of my own. But that third year, while I praised the mighty pube at the top of my lungs, I was secretly rocking - and loving - a vulva as bald as Kojak.
Having grown up in Florida where being swimsuit-ready is a way of life, I had always been meticulous with the grooming of my bikini line. But after getting the sides waxed off at the spa, I always made sure to leave a nice, soft triangle of full-length fluff between my legs. I liked the feeling of that soft spot when I ran my hands over my body after a shower - so much better than the prickliness that comes with close-to-the-bod trimming. I also loved that I looked (and
Read More »from The Hair Down There: Why I like it Both Ways
Straight Single Guy (Tom Miller): I think it just means liking to have your hair pulled. I kid. I think, very broadly stereotyping here, that a fella who wanted to do it like a woman would want to take things very slowly. Hours of foreplay followed by slow, rhythmic lovemaking, plenty of eye contact and scented candles. Afterwards there would be much cuddling. But, in real life, some ladies like it hard and fast and some guys want to O simultaneously and hold hands and collapse into tearful, sleepy embrasure. Allegedly, it's easier for dudes to do it without emotional connection, but who knows if that's true.
Straight Married Guy (Figleaf): I hate it when people say that. It just means we've got really dim stereotypes about women. So I'm not enthusiastic about rising to the bait. But if I had to
Read More »from What Does it Mean to Act like a Woman in Bed?
Dear Em & Lo,
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year now. We have known one another three total years. In the beginning of our friendship, I treated him like a best friend, and told him quite a bit about my sexual past with ex-boyfriends. It severely affected him and bruised his ego. I never had a clue that I hurt him so badly until he told me his feelings.
We have since started to (try) and repair the damage that I did, and I have made it a point to try and nullify it. But he is still severely affected by what happened and to be honest, after quite a few months, I am wondering when he will come around. I have made a point to boost his ego. Tell him he is the best in bed, that he is very attractive, etc. He still finds himself in whirlwinds of depression and he thinks back on that time period of when he was in the friend zone. What can I do to pull him out… or can I at all?
- Dating the Green-Eyed Monster
Dear D.T.G.E.M.,
This is the
Read More »from What to Do when Your Partner Can't Handle Your Sexual Past
Em & Lo contributor Jewely Hoxie, who is studying Human Sexuality at the University of California Santa Cruz, has a confession to make:
I'll admit it - most of these suggestions will probably resonate more with the ladies than the gents. After all, guys don't tend to need much help turning themselves on. But most of the followingcan be universally applied. If you don't want to try something yourself, consider doing it for your partner instead.
Dr. Vanessa Cullins is an OB/GYN and vice president for medical affairs at Planned Parenthood. To ask her your own question, click here.
Dear Dr. Vanessa,
Should you still get tested regularly if you are in a relationship?
- Snuggling But Not Smug
Dear SBNS,
That's a good question. It all depends on how old you are, what kind of relationship you are in, how long you have been in it, and what you and your partner's sexual transmitted infection (STI) status is.
Couples do not need regular screening for STIs if they have been together for years, have had no other sexual partners during that time, and know for sure that neither partner is infected with HIV or another long-term infection such as herpes. That said, women should continue to have routine Pap tests to screen for abnormal cervical cells that might lead to cancer, whether they are in a monogamous or casual sexual relationship, or are not currently sexually active.
If you are uncomfortable with
Read More »from Should You Get Tested Even If You're in a Relationship?
We were going to hold off on this for a few weeks, but the weather has been so beautiful recently (thank you, climate change!) and that means plenty of people will be feeling the need to answer the call of the wild. Here's how to answer it responsibly:
