Read More »from 60-Second Relationship Advice
Sometimes the questions we get asked at EMandLO.com don't require a long complex essay to answer -- to us, they seem pretty cut and dry. But a three-word advice post could read a little cold. And yet we hate to leave people hanging. So we've upped the word count by putting a few of these types of questions into one single article. Behold: The Lightening Round!
What do I do if my boyfriend won't use a condom & expects me to "trust" him?
You break up with him.
I'm a sophomore in college. I wanted to get your advice about how I know if I'm ready to lose my virginity.
We're inclined to say "You'll just know" but that's a terrible answer. You'll know you're ready when you've found a guy you trust who you want to have sex with -- not because you feel you're old enough or because all your friends are doing it or because you just want to get it over with, but because you actually want to exchange physical naked pleasure with this person and that sober* impulse is driving you crazy. (But not
Blog Posts by EMandLO.com
Read More »from 60-Second Relationship Advice
Dear Dr. Joe,
What's the deal with adult circumcision? Is it crazy painful? What's the recovery like? Can a guy expect sensitivity to be reduced?
Dear C,Read More »from What's the Deal with Adult Circumcision?
- EMandLO.com | Love + Sex – Wed, Aug 24, 2011 6:52 PM EDT
We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can't answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Leave your advice below or join the discussion already underway here.
I am a 22 year old male college student about to enter my 5th year. I was not really into relationships and dating in high school or even before because the pickins were a bit sparse and everyone that was dateable was already in a relationship or just didn't find me attractive. I fell in love a few times but either quickly saw things that I found unfavorable or let them pass without saying nothing. Then in college I thought I met the perfect girl but when I actually approached her about it, she turned out to be one of those stuck-up career-oriented girls and I can forgive the career-oriented part. Plus she wasn't that into me. Since then, I have been looking for someone/something to fill that void. Then I tried looking atRead More »from Would You Be Turned Off By a Guy Who Was 22 and Never Been Kissed?
- EMandLO.com | Love + Sex – Mon, Aug 22, 2011 6:23 PM EDT
A college friend of EMandLO.com who wishes to remain nameless has a confession to make:
As a 21-year-old virgin I thought sex was going to be the most overwhelming, painful, awkward, terrible, awful experience ever. Why did I think this? Because friends, magazines, and blogs all over the place said so. Not so! Yes, cashing in your V-card is a big deal: your first experience can set the tone for how you approach and engage in sex for years to come. Which is exactly why you shouldn't stress and fret about the impending deed for weeks or months (or even years!) beforehand like my boyfriend and I did. If you follow these 10 prep rules, then when you're ready, you can relax and just do it:
- Make sure you're with a partner that you trust completely.If you're in love, great! But even more important than true wuv is trust. This comes from knowing your partner well and having a history of caring for and about one another.
- Admit it's your first time. Because if you
Advice from three of EMandLO.com's guy friends. This week they answer the following: "What would most guys think about dating a woman whose sex drive was higher than his? Would it be awesome? Annoying? Lead to insecurities? Make you think less (or more) of her? All of the above?" To ask the guys your own question, click here.
Straight Single Guy (Mark Luczak): Not possible, right? (What sex drive is higher than wanting it all the time?) Actually, as awesome as this sounds at first glance for the stereotypical hornball guy, in reality any dissonance in sex drive can be challenging on many levels (I've been on both sides of it to at least some degree). Feeling attractive and desired is unquestionably wonderful, but if someone simply happens to be in the mood less frequently, it can be uncomfortable for all involved. In the gender roles here, the guy might feel that he's perpetually disappointing, while the girl might easily start to feel insecure emotionally and physically over whyRead More »from What If Her Libido Is Higher Than His?
One of my favorite quotes of all time is an uncharacteristically understated gem of advice from Kurt Vonnegut: "I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.'" I try to live in keeping with this counsel and to overtly express my gratitude and joy when I'm experiencing it. At every possible opportunity. Full disclosure: I'm kind of a loud lover, of myself and of others. Being discreet in between the sheets just doesn't come naturally to me; it feels somehow unappreciative of partner, of joy, and of sensation. That said, my audibility is often somewhat, well, unappreciative of my neighbors or circumstances. Parents' houses, thin-walled apartments, and shoddilly constructed dorm rooms are no place for particularly audible ecstasy,Read More »from 10 Ways to Disguise Love Noises
Dear Em & Lo,
When my boyfriend and I first got together and started having sex he asked me how I thought it was. I told him it was alright. Well, he took it as a negative thing and now he doesn't want to have sex with me because he thinks I don't enjoy it. I have told him a lot of times that I really do enjoy it, but he still doesn't believe me. What should I do now?
-- Foot in Mouth
First of all, let this be a lesson to all the luvvers out there: no one ever wants to be told that they're "all right" in bed. Three-day old pizza is all right, one of Julia Roberts' lesser movies is all right, and so is flying coach. But sex? Of course your boyfriend took "all right" as a negative thing, we don't blame him! You may as well have shrugged your shoulders and said, "Eh."
We're guessing that an argument of semantics ("I meant all right as in, 'Aw-right!!! Yeah!!'") isn't going to work here, so all you can do is lead by example.
- Initiate sex...a lot. The
- EMandLO.com | Love + Sex – Wed, Aug 3, 2011 9:06 PM EDT
Advice from three of EM & LO's guy friends. This week a woman asks, "Is there such a thing as harmless flirtation? When does it cross the line? Is the line different for men and women?"Read More »from Wise Guys: Is There Such a Thing As Harmless Flirtation?
wiseguy_benStraight Married Guy (Ben): Sure - there are plenty of harmless flirtations. Most flirtations, I think, are harmless. The question of line-crossing is really an individual one, determined by your partner (and yes, I think, generally, women do have lower tolerance for this than guys). Some people you date may think a simple flirt is a great betrayal. Others are really into open relationships. It's a good thing to talk about with your partner cuz it's important information on deciding whether or not this person is for you. My experience tells me that actions are more important than words and, to me, cheating is a physical act. But, you know, it doesn't really matter what I think because, in my marriage, I'm not being faithful to myself - I'm being faithful to my wife. And to her ideas of fidelity.
Read More »from Dear Doc, Help! I Have Hairy Nips!
Every few weeks, Dr. Vanessa Cullins, a board-certified obstetrician/gynecologist and vice president for medical affairs at Planned Parenthood® Federation of America, answers your questions on EMandLO.com. To ask her your own question, click here.
Dear Dr. Vanessa,
My areolas are hairy -- what can I do?!
In general having some hair on the areola, the circle of skin around the nipple, is perfectly normal. It's just another area where body hair is likely to grow. There is no need to do anything about it. If you do decide you want to remove the hairs, it is easy to do with scissors or tweezers. Some women use hair removal products designed to use on the face, others have the hairs removed with waxing or electrolysis. Many women pluck them, but others warn that plucking can disturb the hair follicle and cause ingrown hairs or infection.
If a woman has so much hair on her breasts that it seems like a man's chest hair, she may have hirsutism (HER-soot-izm). This is
We've all been there (though not all of us have Justin Timberlake or Mila Kunis on speed dial): Out on the town, feeling good after a cocktail or five, you don't want to go home but you can't stay where you are, and no one has made you any offers you can't refuse yet. So you fish out your phone to daringly (read: desperately) see if one of your acquaintances might take sexual pity on you. It's a recipe for disaster. But if you insist on doing it again (and you know you will), follow these rules to ease everyone's pain:
1. Text, don't call. Text messages were practically invented for booty calls! Slurring goes unnoticed, grammar is irrelevant, and if they're not around, you won't embarrass yourself with a rambling voicemail message.
2. When in doubt, be clever rather than crass. A little cheeky banter, some playful innuendo, a compliment or two to fluff up the ego (among other body parts) will usually work way better than a cheap crotch shot. Well, they'll work better onRead More »from 8 Rules for Your Friend with Benefits