Top Secret Files
We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can't answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. And frankly, this one is a doozie. Make your call by leaving your response in the comments section below or joining the debate already in progress here. Dear Em & Lo, My stepdaughter just confided in me she had recently lost her virginity with her boyfriend. She's fifteen and doesn't want me to tell her mom. She said that I'm the only one she feels comfortable talking about sex with. I've always taught her to practice safe sex, choose her potential partners carefully, and to be discreet about her personal choices. What do you suggest about her request not to tell mom? I don't want to betray her trust, but I'd also like to avoid the scalding hot water I'll be in if it ever gets out I held onto this piece of info. -- The Secret Sharer What should T.S.S. do?
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-- The Classy Way to Give
Blog Posts by EMandLO.com
- EMandLO.com | Love + Sex – Thu, Jan 26, 2012 4:18 PM EST
Top Secret FilesRead More »from Your Call: Where Should a Husband/Stepfather's Loyalties Lie when it Comes to Secrets?
Prisoner Kit from EdenFantasys.comRead More »from How to Introduce Your Man to Toys
Advice from three of Em and Lo's guy friends. This week they answer the following: "What would you tell a guy who was intimidated by the idea of his partner bringing sex toys into the bedroom?" To ask the guys your own question, click here.
Straight Single Guy (Tom Miller): Men take a certain amount of pride in their bedroom abilities, and despite the fact that we intellectually know most women can't orgasm from insertion alone, it bums us out. However, letting a guy know that his anatomy is acceptable (almost too acceptable, really) and that you just have different needs goes a long way towards soothing his ego. Throw in something about the mystery of female sexuality and that you'll let him hold the device in question, thus providing him additional "skin in the game," and it should be gravy. Unless he's a jerk or a baby head.
Straight Married Guy (Figleaf): The dead cliché answer would be to remind him that they're only called "toys" and "novelties" to get around puritanical blue
Get a jump start!
We get a lot of advice questions, but sadly, we just can't answer them all. Which is why we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader . Make your call by leaving your response in the comments section below.
- EMandLO.com | Love + Sex – Mon, Jan 9, 2012 4:58 PM EST
Our friend Amy K at a Target nurse-inRead More »from When, If Ever, is Nursing in Public Too In-Your-Face?
After a woman was recently asked to move to the changing rooms at a Texas Target to nurse her child, she and other breastfeeding advocates organized a national nurse-in at Target stores across the country last week on December 28th. A writer-friend of ours, Amy Keyishian, went to her local store and took a, shall we say, spirited picture of herself nursing her kid (above), which caused quite a, shall we say, stir. Her writer friend, Marjorie Ingall, jumped to her defense in what we would call a spot-on analysis of why so many people freak out whenever a boob gets whipped out in public to feed a baby. So, what do you think? Should nursing be a private thing between mother and child? Is public breastfeeding okay, so long as it's not in-your-face (i.e. not at a restaurant without a boob-burka or, say, while pushing your kid in a Target cart)? Or do we as a society need to accept the fact that breasts aren't just sexual objects to be ogled by men and all chill out?
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A bed to sleep in.
Dear Em & Lo ,
I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. I'm 21, he's 28. He's the only person to ever perform oral sex on me, so while I have no one to compare him too, I know that he is bad at it. He pushes his entire face on my lady region and just moves side to side, as if that is supposed to feel good. He hardly uses his tongue and I don't think he even understands he needs to focus on my little man in the boat. After 3 years, I have no idea how to tell him that he's not doing it right. Help!
-- Suffering in Silence
Oh dear. We're tempted to tell you to dump this guy and start over with a new one, because it's a million times harder to teach an old partner new tricks. This is in large part because there's no easy way to say, "You've been screwing up for three years and I just never got around to telling you." How would his ego ever recover from such a blow? How would he ever know to trust your sexual response in bed again? This is why we emphasize againRead More »from How Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Bad in Bed?
Gloria Steinem, a prominent feminist of the 20th centuryRead More »from Wise Guys: What Do Most Men Think About Feminism?
Advice from three of Em & Lo's guy friends. This week they answer the following: "What do most guys think of feminism: a successful movement that's not needed any more, an eternal campaign of whiney man-haters, or a philosophy that makes the world a better place for both men and women?" To ask the guys your own question, click here.
Single Bisexual Guy (Jack): I grew up in a very matriarchal family, and I have always had female teachers, supervisors, even mentors. I directly credit one woman, in particular, for helping me to advance dramatically in my career. It's always been a non-issue for me - women are just as intelligent, talented and productive as men, and can be as successful if given the same opportunities. I can't speak for all guys, but I know for many guys my age and younger, it's a non-issue. We believe in equality and we get the whole feminist viewpoint, and we even get that we're going to continue to be blamed for being male just because men have been such morons for so
- EMandLO.com | Love + Sex – Tue, Jan 3, 2012 11:20 AM EST
aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
You know how sometimes you go all out to impress someone - candle-lit meal, "seductive" music, fine wine, edible underwear - and they show up all drunk and could care less? Sucks, doesn't it? Fortunately, this week your efforts will be appreciated. Though you might want to rethink the underwear.
taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
Trust your intuition: If someone feels good to be around, then they're probably good for you. Either that or they're wearing a great cashmere sweater and you keep rubbing up against it. In which case, second-guess your intuition until you've spent time with them in a less luxurious fabric.
gemini (May 21st-June 21st)Read More »from Your Horoscopes for the First Week of the New Year
Stop making excuses and join in the fun. Get out and take part in some damn social activities. Don't waste time sitting at home alone watching reruns of Top Chef on Tivo, not when this is
- EMandLO.com | Love + Sex – Tue, Dec 13, 2011 6:45 PM EST
Advice from three of EMandLO.com's guy friends. This week they answer the following: "Do most guys still fantasize about other people when they're in a relationship? During masturbation or during sex with their partner, or both?" To ask the guys your own question, click here.Read More »from Do Men Fantasize About Other People when They’re in a Relationship?
what's your fantasy?
Married Straight Guy (Irad Eyal ofSexdegrees.net): Fantasize? What does that mean "fantasize"? If by fantasize you mean think about with a desire to replace the person you're with, then no, absolutely not. That's crazy talk. But if by fantasize you mean day dream about in a sexy alternate universe where people you know do wonderful unexplainable things to you, then of course. I'm pretty in-the-moment during couples activities and I don't possess the buddhist-power to clear the intercourse-monkey-chatter and replace it with fantasies, but during alone time, why not. When you're in a relationship, your thoughts are one of the few things you have complete control over! If I can't decide the color of my bath towels,