Blog Posts by EMandLO.com

As many as ten percent of women have never had an orgasm, and many more than that have never had an orgasm with a partner. And the more women fake, the worse these statistics will get. It's time to take your orgasms into your own hands-quite literally, if need be. Stop the madness, ladies, and start the ecstasy!

1. First thing's first: Stop faking. You have two options. The first is fessing up to the truth. If you haven't been together with someone for too long, then you could just say you were nervous and didn't want to hurt his feelings, so that's why you faked. If it's with a long-term partner, then be sure to have the conversation outside the bedroom, remindng how much it means that you're being honest, and how hard it is for you to confess. Tell him, "The easy way out would be to keep on faking, but I think you deserve more than that." His pride will be seriously wounded, so you should also be sure to tell him just how much you enjoyed the sex even though you didn't

Advice from three of EMandLO.com's guy friends. This week a straight woman asks, "Considering all the questions the doctors on this site get about women experiencing painful intercourse, I was wondering: do guys ever experience pain during sex?"
Straight Single Guy (Max): While the good normally outweighs the bad, I would say that yes, sex can hurt. Have you ever had a guy pull out only to jam his penis against the inside of your thigh? Trust me, this hurts. I've heard horror stories about guys having to stop altogether because they thought the "broke" their dick. While this might elicit a chuckle in retrospect, there is a real danger when participating in over zealous sexual fun. I would add that there are other ways to hurt a guy. First, make sure that lubrication is always available. Especially when heavy drinking is involved. I find that things get a bit rougher than you realize and this hurts just as much in the moment as it will in the morning. Secondly, be careful of foreskins.

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can't answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below, or join the heated debate already underway here:

Dear Em & Lo,

I have a problem with my husband watching porn. He knows I dislike it; I even gave him and alternative once, me or the porn. I thought he chose me. I have sadly realized that he has been watching it and I don't know for how long now. We don't have problems with sex other than we don't get any time to ourselves because of life; i.e. kids, work, tired, whatever.

I grew up with porn in the home and grew up thinking it is disgusting. I have tried to watch it with him, it does nothing for me, and I find it grotesque. I feel that if a man is happy at home, then he doesn't need to cheat or watch porn. If I am not satisfying him in bed then he needs to tell me, not

When you write about sex for a living, it's easy to get caught up in the idea that we should always be inventing a new position or discovering a new erogenous zone. But sometimes it's good just to remind ourselves of some basics. These 15 tips never go out of style - and they're way easier to pull off than the Wheelbarrow, too.

1. Don't rush. It's way easier and sexier for your partner to say, "More, harder, oh god, faster," than it is to say, "Whoa! Slow down there, cowboy."
2. Do provide positive reinforcement. Total silence sucks. Your partners will welcome praise and feedback like Jessica Simpson would a good review. Plus, it's an easy way to dabble in dirty talk. If you can't find the words, appreciative noises work just as well.
3. Don't assume that just because you're in love (or on good behavior), you can't have it dirty. The idea that marriage, monogamy or even good manners is the end of dirty, throw-me-against-the-wall, taboo-busting sex is a tired,

Advice from three of EMandLO.com's guy friends. This week they answer the following: "Do guys like looking into their partner's eyes while they're having sex, and while they're climaxing? Why or why not? And if a woman is with a man who never looks her in the eye during sex, what does that mean?" To ask the guys your own question, click here.

Gay Engaged Guy (Joel Derfner, author ofSwish): I don't think it's something guys really think about either way - I don't think we find it that meaningful a question. I guess I tend to look my partner in the eye at least once or twice during sex, but if he didn't look me in the eye I don't know that I'd be that freaked out. If he's not looking you in the eye and you want him to, say so. If, after that, he still won't look you in the eye, then my guess - given that it's not that big a deal - is that there's probably something wrong with him.

Straight Married Guy (Figleaf): I wouldn't automatically read too much into a man who never looks at his

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can't answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below, or join the discussion already underway here:

Dear Em & Lo,

I've been dating a great girl for a few weeks now (yes, we've had sex, it's awesome). I'm just not sure what to do for Valentine's Day. I don't want to do anything cheesy or cliche, but I don't want her to be disappointed that she didn't get the whole Valentine's shebang either. I also don't want to rush things, or make her think that any gesture is an unspoken confession of my undying love. I mean I like her, but I'm not quite at the "I love you" stage, at least not yet. So what should I do for the 14th?

- Big Heart

What should the BH do?

Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below, or join the discussion already

Conversation is an art form. The simplest advice is to ask questions… and actually listen to the answers. Nothing says "I'm an a---- " quite like gazing absentmindedly at some hottie shooting pool in the back of the bar while your date tells you how she ate her lunch in the bathroom during high school. You're on a date, which means that your date gets your exclusive attention for the evening - letting your eyes wander to other people, to your watch, or to a text that just came in tells your date that they're less important to you than how many minutes have passed since you last took a sip of beer. Do we have your attention? Good. Now, here's how to talk to your date.

1. You can't ask just any old question, however. For example, don't ask a question just so you'll get to give your own answer ("Oh, what did I get on my SATs? Well, funny you should ask, I scored a perfect 1600!") And there is such a thing as a stupid question on a first date. If you ask "Where do you see yourself in

Advice from three of EMandLO.com's guy friends. This week they answer the following: "My guy says getting a BJ is one of the best feeling things I can do for him, but it still takes forever to get him off. That seems like a total paradox….?"

Straight Single Guy (Chris): That may be exactly why he likes it so much. I would argue that guys that are worried about finishing too quickly during sex are worried mainly because your pleasure is directly tied to his. The idea of getting a ----- where he's not worried about how long it takes is insanely pleasurable, relaxing, and occasionally mindblowing. When oral sex is done correctly, a woman can bring a man close to the edge and back off several times before allowing him to finish. All of this adds up to incredible enjoyment for him, but none of it means that the actual sensation on the penis is more intense than intercourse. In many cases it is a much more controlled and gentle experience. Then again, I've known a lady or two who