The most important thing to realize about fighting within a relationship is that it's totally healthy -- in fact, we'd be suspicious of a couple who never fought. But what's key to the success or failure of your relationship is to learn how to fight fairly. And as you both practice fair fighting, you should both get better at it:
- Make sure that the thing you are asking/nagging/complaining about is actually the thing you're mad about. You shouldn't soft-shoe your way into things by accusing your boyfriend of, say, being two-faced, when what you really want to say is that you occasionally feel jealous of his female friends, and when he pretends that he can't stand them -- when you know that he can -- it only makes you feel worse. Nobody likes to feel blind-sided in an argument.
- Stay calm and don't let your emotions fly out of control. Sure, easier said than done, you may think. But your best shot at this is to bring things up as and when they piss you off, rather than