1. Take a tip from a 12-Step Program: no trauma bonding! Admitting to your absentee father / drug-addict mother / type 1 diabetes / poverty status / lactoseintolerance is not first-date A material.
2. That said, if you're forced to wear an itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny flesh-colored bikini bottom and shake your junk in front of the girl you like and you do it with good humor and without shame, then you can (almost) be forgiven for any uncontrollable bouts of said trauma bonding.
3. When someone is telling you their most painful personal story, don't smile. Whether it's a nervous habit or pure evil, it's not cool.
4. If a man refers to himself as "old-fashioned," that means he's overly macho, aggressively Neanderthal and benevolently sexist.
5. You can't have staples in your head AND wear your hair like Frankenstein's monster.
Blog Posts by EMandLO.com
- EMandLO.com | Love + Sex – Wed, Jun 5, 2013 11:21 AM EDT
The BacheloretteRead More »from Top 5 Lessons Learned from Season 9 Episode 2 of the Bachelorette
- EMandLO.com | Love + Sex – Tue, Jun 4, 2013 1:11 PM EDT
The Killing's Sarah Linden (Mireille Enos)Okay, if you can get past the fact that the entire series revolves around the brutal murders of pretty young girls, "The Killing" on AMC (whose third season premiered on Sunday night) is actually a great feminist television show:Read More »from 5 Reasons Why “The Killing” is One of the Best Feminist Shows on TV
1) The main character, homicide detective Sarah Linden (Mireille Enos), is a strong, tough, independent woman who doesn't need a man. She doesn't even want a man. Her passion is her job.
2) There are lesbian characters (plural!) who are also strong, tough and independent. In the first two seasons, Sarah's best friend is a lesbian; in this season, she's getting married. And there's a new character, a street kid named Bullet who's as compelling as Linden's colorful partner from the first two seasons, Stephen Holder; Bullet is in love with another runaway girl (who doesn't know it). None of these romances is given any special treatment - they just are.
3) Stephen Holder, her tough-as-nails partner, is also - you guessed it - strong and independent. He's rough
Will you marry me?If you're thinking about proposing to your partner in public, you might want to browse the stories on Quora.com first. If you haven't been sucked into Quora.com yet, it's an addictive awesome time-suck (okay, so maybe you shouldn't check it out then!), where real people answer questions about everything from "What is the nicest thing you've ever done that no one knows about?" to "What would a modern-day evil genius have to do in order to take over the world?" The responses to some questions can be truly heartbreaking -- like the people answering the question, "What does it feel like to have your spouse die?" But there's also something reassuring and warm-and-fuzzy about this sort of discussion. Turns out people aren't just spending their time online watching videos of people wiping out doing skate-board tricks. They're also reaching out and trying to help a stranger deal with the loss of her husband. Our favorite discussion lately is the kind that makes you squeeze your bum-holeRead More »from Why Public Proposals Are a Bad Idea
- EMandLO.com | Love + Sex – Wed, May 29, 2013 2:23 PM EDT
1. Vocal fry is so not hot.
2. If you have a sense of humor, please use it when you're one on one with the person you're trying to charm. (We're talking to you, Mr. ER doctor with the glasses and the droopy eyes). And while we're at it, if you have a suit of armor, please don't use it.
3. If at first you don't succeed (at luring someone to your impromptu fantasy suite with a twin mattress on the floor), give up, go home and enroll in some sensitivity training -- or just look up the definition of the word "no."
4. Bangs are the all-natural way to Botox. (i.e. Des, we miss yours!)
5. If the cheeseball who showed the most skin on the first episode can get a rose and the guys who do the most crying get all the play on the season teaser, then we may be closer to true equality between the sexes than we previously thought.
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- EMandLO.com | Book Club – Fri, May 24, 2013 2:57 PM EDT
A photograph of the cover of Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg's book Our book group just read "Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead" by Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg. According to it's Amazon descrip, she (and let's be honest, her writing and research team) examine "why women's progress in achieving leadership roles has stalled, explains the root causes, and offers compelling, commonsense solutions that can empower women to achieve their full potential." Does it do that? Totes. Some of the more interesting points in the book have to do with.....wait for it.....sex and relationships: Research supports [the idea] that equality between partners leads to happier relationships. When husbands do more housework, wives are less depressed, marital conflicts decrease, and satisfaction rises. When women work outside the home and share breadwinning duties, couples are more likely to stay together. In fact, the risk of divorce reduces by about half when a wife earns half the income and a husband does half the housework. For men, participating in child rearingRead More »from "Lean In" is Great! Facebook, Not so Much. Here's Why
Pickup truck kissWe believe that the quickie is one of the most underrated sex acts out there. Perhaps this is because everyone from Sting to porn producers to teen boys reciting baseball statistics in bed are convinced that going long is always better. Here are five reasons why, sometimes, less is more.Read More »from 5 Reasons to Give Quickies a Try
1. You Need Your Beauty Sleep
Research consistently shows that people would choose a good night's sleep over sex. And sure, when you crawl into bed at midnight and, with a heavy heart, set your alarm for six a.m., then an hour or two of sensual tantric love-making doesn't sound that appealing. But what about five or ten minutes of intense passion followed by a sleep-inducing orgasm? Now we're talking.
2. Women Don't Always Need As Much Time As You Think
We've all heard that women at least need thirty minutes of extended foreplay in order to truly enjoy sex. But then how come during masturbation, women climax, on average, in less than four minutes? (Guys take an average of two to three minutes to
- EMandLO.com | Love + Sex – Wed, May 15, 2013 9:47 AM EDT
Angelina JolieAngelina Jolie wrote an op ed in the New York Times yesterday about her decision to have a preventive double mastectomy in order to greatly reduce her risk of breast cancer, which she had an almost 90% chance of getting due to a "faulty" gene (BRCA1) which greatly predisposes carriers to the disease.
Her acting career -- indeed her celebrity career -- has often revolved and relied on her otherworldly beauty (which includes bodily proportions more akin to Barbie than the average woman). Case in point: Lara Croft: Tomb Raider was basically a vehicle for her boobs. Her body has been a fantasy and jealousy maker for both men and women (and not just respectively speaking). And as is the case with any celebrity, but especially one who's part of an elite power couple known for their physical beauty, her body has been something we feel we own in some way with our Us Weekly ogling.
Which is why this op ed comes as such a shocker. How could she willingly remove theseRead More »from Lessons We Can Learn from Angelina Jolie's Announcement
secrets & whispers
Dirty talk can terrify even the most seasoned sexual adventurer-people are afraid of sounding stupid or afraid of like a pornstar… or perhaps they're afraid of not sounding like a pornstar. But when you break it down, dirty talk is actually much simpler and more approachable than you might think. Here are five easy ways to try it out:
1. React to What's Happening
If something feels good, say so. Start with moans and sighs (they count, too!), or a breathy repetition of your partner's name, and work up to "Yes!" or "That feels good" or "I love it when you do that"-and eventually you can build up to "I love it when you [BLANK] with your [BLANK]."
2. Ditch Your Thesaurus
Speaking of the [BLANK]: As a general rule, the more words a term for the genitals contains, the more likely it is to induce giggles or a wince. On the other hand, you probably want to steer clear of terms that a gynecologist or urologist would use (kind of a buzz kill!). You're safest sticking to theRead More »from 5 Easy Ways to Talk Dirtier Tonight
Embrace1. A well-designed sex toy can make a fabulous gift.Read More »from 5 Things Everyone Should Know About Sex
Birthdays, Mother's Day, Just Because Day, whenever. Well, perhaps not if you've been on just a date or two - but if you're in the kind of serious long-term relationship where you've met each other's parents and explored each other's orifices, then giving your partner a sex toy is a pretty awesome way to stand out from the crowd. Sex toy packaging and design has improved immeasurably over the past few years, and classy gift sets look sensual and romantic, like this Adore Me Kit, which comes with a red lipstick vibe, a red silk blindfold, red silk and suede wrist restraints, and a satin storage pouch.
2. Mind games in the bedroom can be the best thing that ever happened to your relationship.
Don't mess with each other's heads when it comes to calling when you say you will or showing up on time for a romantic candlelit dinner. Butdo mess with each other in bed: Play games, tease the hell out of each other, tickle fight, wrestle, take