Blog Posts by EMandLO.com

Google goggles are the rose-tinted glasses through which you view a new paramour after an exhaustive Internet search on them yields very impressive results: a book written in the Amazon top 100, a library wing named after them, a gorgeous portrait taken by Herb Ritz, a Pulitzer, etc. You might do this after a particularly riveting email exchange with someone you met online, before or after a blind date, after a one-night stand, or just about anyone you've considering sleeping with (or sleeping with again).

But while this person may be good on paper (or, should we say, on Web pages), they may not be good for you in person. Your Google goggles may prevent you from recognizing this before you agree to a second date or to sex, whichever comes first. We know that pigs will fly out of your ass before you stop Googling everyone you meet, from your new dentist to the new hottie at the dog run, so all we'll say is this: Don't believe everything you read online. Unless you read it on

The Lelo Nea at GoodVibes.com

You know those sand-buffed pebbles that you find on the beach that feel so nice in the palm of your hand? They're pleasant and comforting to hold in your pocket, like nature's own worry beads. Well, pebble vibrators are the X-rated version of this: external vibrators that fit perfectly in the palm of your hand - or, even better, between two bodies during intercourse. Their elfin size makes them discreet, non-threatening, travel-friendly bedside accessories.

The ultimate pebble vibrators are made by Swedish design company Lelo - check out their floral Nea vibrator or their silky smooth Lily vibe. Sure, they're not the cheapest of sex toys, but in this case, you get what you pay for: beautiful, incredibly well-made, rechargeable vibrators that come in impeccably tasteful packaging. Betcha can't find that during a long walk on the beach.

MORE FROM EMandLO.com

• Do Men Really Love Bitches?
• I Orgasm Easily; What's Wrong with Me?!

Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City. To ask her your own question, click here.

Dear Dr. Kate,

My boyfriend and I have been together for six months now, and we are thinking of becoming sexually active. But we are concerned about an unwanted pregnancy. I am currently taking oral birth control. I was wondering if there is a male contraceptive besides condoms? I am allergic to latex, therefore I can't use condoms. Are there any latex-free condoms? A friend of mine once told me he was on a shot to prevent pregnancy - is there such thing, and if there is, what are some of the possible side-effects?

- Curious

Dear Curious,

First, yay for thinking about birth control before you have sex! And using two forms of contraception will make your chances of pregnancy even smaller. Unfortunately, there is no reliable, reversible male contraceptive besides condoms. (I don't think withdrawal, or pulling out, is effective enough to talk about here.)

Dear Em and Lo,

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now. A few months ago we took a break and I moved out. I was really having a great time, but he showed up with roses and tears promising everything would change and that he couldn't live without me. Fast Forward four months and he is once again being the most selfish person alive. I can deal with tantrums but one thing I can't deal with is the fact that he is always too tired for sex. I'm a nympho! I want it three or four times a day and we haven't had sex in a month and that ended with me hopping off and saying, "That's okay, I figured you weren't really into it." Last night I initiated, as usual, and started going down which was fine. When I moved to get on top, he said, "Just stop, you know I'm too tired and you know it makes me feel bad, but you do it anyway." So I resumed my position, gave him a ----- , smoked a cigarette, and went to bed. How the hell am I supposed to feel? He lived alone for ten years before he met me. So he has made a ton of changes and I appreciate that, but everything else in the relationship is about him. I'm not a bad person, but I think about cheating all of the time just because I need to feel like somebody wants me. What do I do? Help!

- Neglected Nympho

Dear N.N.,

Remind us why you took him back again? Did this guy hypnotize you? Drug you? Get you to join his own private cult? Seriously: roses and tears?! That's what you're supposed to get when he tells you that he didn't really mean to say that your butt looks big in those jeans. But after a mini-break, he needs to actually prove that he's already changed, not make some vague promise that he will change. Eventually. When he gets a round tuit.

Advice from three of EMandLO.com's guy friends. This week they answer the following: "What's the general guy consensus on PDA?"

Straight Married Guy (James Glazebrook): For some reason, I only clock public displays of affection in nightclubs or on the London Underground. I have no idea what's so sexy about these squalid subterranean Victorian spaces. Maybe it's the heat or the filth or the drugs or the angry-commuter tension… but whatever it is, it drives couples to that kind of necking when you can't make out where one tongue ends and the other begins, and it sounds like they're actually eating each other. Personally, I prefer my PDA a little more, well, girly. I like to hold hands. I also like to hug and lock eyes with the woman I love, and give her the occasional peck on the check. She likes it too. So it works for me, but the fact that just admitting this makes me feel less of man leads me to believe that I'm far from typical - and maybe even more of a freak than those

affordable speakers for your sex life

No, we're not talking about broadcasting the dying-cow sound of your orgasm for all your neighbors to hear. We're talking about getting some decent speakers to put in your bedroom when you're doing it to music. Tunes can really help set a mood. (There's a good reason why movies always set the sex scene to surround-sound music.) But having those tunes come out of a tinny little alarm-clock radio on your night-stand can work against that mood when you're acting out your own sex scene. You don't have to go big or pricey. Get something like Cyber Acoustics Subwoofer/Satellite System: put a speaker on either side of the bed (for balanced sound) and -- now this is essential -- put the subwoofer under the middle of your bed by the headboard. Then just plug your mp3 player into the system and you're good to go. If you don't have a gift for making cool or appropriate playlists, try Pandora.com, one of the greatest inventions of the 21st century: you

Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City. To ask her your own question, click here.

Dear Dr. Kate,

I've been with my boyfriend for a year now and we tried having sex. For the first two times we did it, it hurt really bad…but only the penetration. After that I was fine. What can I do to make myself less tight and actually enjoy sex? I am afraid of the pain and don't want sex to be a thing I don't look forward to.

All Clenched Up

Dear Clenched,

I totally agree with you - sex should never be dreaded, and should never cause you pain. Here are a few scenarios that can cause the kind of pain you're describing:

Dear Em & Lo,

I've never been a girl who has difficulty reaching an orgasm. I started masturbating in college and learned pretty quickly what I like and what I do. Now when I'm with a guy, I find that I get off - really quickly and really hard. With my most recent hook-up, we were fully clothed and I came screaming hard. I've read so much about girls not being able to get off and I'm worried that something might be wrong with me. And I'm also really worried that guys will think that I'm faking. What should I do?

- Getting Worried About Getting Off

Dear GWAGO,

Now, we try to take every question we get seriously. But come on, this is a joke, right? You can't possibly be serious!

Okay, okay, we'll give you the benefit of the doubt and trust for the moment that you're really concerned about this. Our advice: don't be! You have a gift - freaking enjoy it!