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Dear Em & Lo,
After a particularly hot session with my husband the other night, he had what seemed to me like a really intense orgasm. But when I went to the bathroom afterward to clean up, it appeared as if he didn't actually ejaculate. Basically, there was nothing to clean up, even when I checked inside myself with my fingers, and no smell or sign of semen. I asked him if he came, and he said that yes, he did.
I'm wondering what to make of this. In the past, when he hasn't been able to come (too tired, too distracted, too much to drink), it's never been a big deal between us. Usually he'll just say that he doesn't think it's going to happen for him, and we'll call it a night. There isn't any kind of baggage between us that would cause him to pretend to have an orgasm when he didn't. And anyway, it didn't seem like he was struggling to get there. On the contrary, it seemed like he'd been struggling to hold on until I came, and he came very soon after me.
Just for a little context, because of our work schedules, we don't actually see each other awake during the week, and we're usually only squeezing in sex on the weekends. So it's not like we'd done it five times already in the last 24 hours and he'd be tapped out.
So … did he fake it? Or can a man have an orgasm without ejaculating?
- Dry Run
We think there are probably three possibilities here: