Blog Posts by EMandLO.com

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: Why are some guys so into strip clubs? Do most guys buy into the fantasy that the stripper is actually enjoying herself - or don't they care? To ask the guys your own question, click here.

Straight Single Guy (Colin): Lots of guys aren't into strip clubs. Probably more are kind of weirded out by them than you might think. For the ones who do enjoy an outing to the nearest nudie bar, it's usually about the visual overload of the body parts we fantasize about all day long. Finally we can be praised for overtly staring at a woman's breasts. We might imagine what women around us look like naked and a strip club is an opportunity to live the dream. It's fun to pretend the stripper is enjoying herself, and some are at some times, but in the end it's just pretending and most of us probably know - like a twelve your old who still plays into his parents leaving milk and cookies out for Santa Claus.

Gay Engaged Guy (Joel Derfner, author of Swish): I'm not sure I'm really in a position to answer this, because I've worked as a stripper, and I kind of loved it. This is one way in which it's much easier to be a gay man than a straight man: you don't have to worry that you're objectifying female sex workers.

That said: I think the fantasy that the stripper is enjoying herself is exactly what makes strip clubs so exciting.

Your bedroom should be a sacred space for rest, relaxation, and rolling in the hay. Any reminders of everyday stresses - CNN on the television, files you brought home from the office, stacks of unpaid bills, your cellphone - can fill your room with negative energy. If you look over your honey's shoulder and see some work you need to finish or a K2 of laundry you need to do, your brain can all too easily wander over to that task, which will kill arousal. And then, next thing you know, you're thinking "It's not that I don't love the sex, it's just that I just have so much to do!" To fix that, spend an hour (okay, 20 minutes) tonight cleaning your closet (or at least shutting the doors to it), ditching the colossal pile of magazines next to your bed that you'll never get around to reading, removing the worn clothes hanging over the back of that chair, and making the space a computer/TV-free zone. Light some candles, turn on some nice relaxing music, and put some soft, clean sheets on

Do you want to feel that rush of first love again? Do you want to feel the tingle of a junior high crush? Do you want to "extend foreplay" like all the sexperts tell you to but you keep running out of things to do? Do you want to go on a date night but are just too freakin' tired to plan anything on a Friday night? Then head to the movies tonight -- anything R-rated or above so there are no whining kids in the audience -- grab a seat in the back row, and make out like teenagers. Allow yourself to do anything you would have let yourself do back in early high school -- when you weren't sure you wanted to go "all the way" with your boyf/girlf, but the one thing you did know for sure was that you couldn't keep your hands off them. Hold hands all the way home, stopping for ice cream and making out whenever there's a red light. Finally, jump each other's bones the moment you walk in the door, like the fully mature, going-all-the-way grownups that you are.

More from EM & LO:

• Em &

Dear Em & Lo,

I've been in a serious, committed relationship with a gorgeous woman for almost a year. We first met as friends and then somehow found ourselves being more than friends after 9 months or so. During that time, we learned much about what makes the other tick. We have found our personalities, including our sexual appetites and interests,to be very compatible. We communicate well and have been very good about helping each other understand one another. Our lives together have been great including the sex (frequent with lots of O's). Here's how she's stumped me during sex: a couple of times after she has orgasmed strongly during vaginal intercourse, she's then bursts into tears. As a guy, I'm a bit freaked (did I do something?) but she tells me that it feels chemically triggered. We take the time to settle back into the groove (she doesn't want to stop) and then continue almost as if nothing has happened. Do you have any idea what could be going on?

--Tears in

Total nudity is not always a prerequisite for great sex: leftover clothes give the sex a sense of urgency and spontaneity, like you wanted each other so badly that there was simply no time to brush your teeth, disrobe, and get under the covers. Or like you're doing it outside and you've got to stay partially clothed in case you have to make a quick getaway -- except you're not actually outside, so you don't have to worry about frostbite and/or mosquitoes. But gentlemen? The socks don't count.

More from EM & LO:

• Em & Lo's Worst Ever Rom Coms
• Em & Lo's Top 10 Overrated Rom Coms
• Em & Lo's Top 10 Old School Rom Coms
• Em & Lo's Top 10 Overlooked Rom Coms
• Em & Lo's Top 10 Alt Rom Coms A.K.A. Chick Flicks Guys Dig
• Em & Lo's Top 10 Classic Romantic Comedies

• Poll: Picking Each Other's Zits... True Love or Truly Disgusting?
• Poll: What Do You Think About Threesomes?

• Wise Guys: What Do Men Think About When

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: "If guys had to choose between only intercourse or only ----- s for the rest of their life, which do you think most guys would choose?"

Straight Single Guy (L.A. Chris): I think most guys would choose ----- s, but they really should be choosing intercourse. BJs are the best thing to happen to sex since sliced bread, but with added perks (let's just say it's like taking your car in for an oil change and getting a free car wash). Most men don't get as many ----- s in their daily routine as they'd like, so the prospect of guaranteed hummers for life is a dream come true. But it's a devil's bargain. ----- s are awesome, but they're unsubstantial -- mere icing on the cake. And a man can't feel truly satisfied on a diet of sugar frosting alone. At some point he's going to want to connect meaningfully with his partner. And by the time he gets to be 30 or 40 he may even want to have a baby. (Yes, men have

If we all followed the golden rule of reciprocity in bed, we think there'd be more sex, more orgasms, less bickering, fewer sex advice columnists (we'd be out of a job!), and possibly even world peace. Remember, if your partner tickles your back, it's not just because they're being nice -- they want you to tickle their back, too. And anything tactile, whether it's a back massage or a nipple tweak or oral sex, feels better when you don't have to ask for it.

So tell us, what does your partner do to you that you think they might like a little more of themselves? And what do you do to your partner that you wish they would pick up the hint and do to you?

More from EM & LO:

• Em & Lo's Worst Ever Rom Coms
• Em & Lo's Top 10 Overrated Rom Coms
• Em & Lo's Top 10 Old School Rom Coms
• Em & Lo's Top 10 Overlooked Rom Coms
• Em & Lo's Top 10 Alt Rom Coms A.K.A. Chick Flicks Guys Dig
• Em & Lo's Top 10 Classic Romantic Comedies

In honor of Valentine's Day, we're doing a week of lists dedicated to the film-genre equivalent of those little heart candies: the romantic comedy. We've covered classic rom coms, alternative love stories, the best overlooked ones, romantic comedies from the olden days, and the most overrated ones. Earlier today, we gave you the 7 actors who should not be allowed to make another romantic comedy again by listing their body of sappy work. And now, we close out the series with the 25 remaining worst rom coms ever made. We saved them for last since you wouldn't have time to Netflix these for Valentine's Day anyway. (Remember, if you don't see your all-time most-hated rom com below, it's probably here.)

1. Forgetting Sarah Marshall - How this predictable and unfunny movie got any favorable reviews is beyond us. We think people have just gone Apatow crazy. Usually any movie that has full frontal male nudity automatically gets a thumbs up from us, but even that can't make us care