Blog Posts by EMandLO.com

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A few years ago, when I was a bright-eyed junior at UC Berkeley, I wrote about how my boyfriend and I were going on a break before I left to study abroad in Spain. At the time we had been together for two years, and I remember the reaction I received - from friends and readers alike - who thought I was being unrealistic in thinking that I could hook up with a slew of Spanish men and return to my relationship unscathed.

Well, I'm happy to report that that three years (and many attractive foreign men) later, my boyfriend and I are still together and still as much in love as we were before - if not more so.

Though our relationship has passed the five-year mark, this is not to say that it has been without its difficulties. I'm not going to lie and say our relationship was full of sunshine and daisies after I got back from Spain, because it wasn't. We dated other people and, yes, slept with other people, and like any normal relationship there were fights and there was jealousy

Old Faithful













Okay, before we tell you how to ejaculate, we have to set a couple things straight:

First, yes, women can ejaculate.

Next: no, not all women ejaculate. So if it doesn't happen for you, please don't stress about it or feel like your parts aren't working properly. The last thing we mean to do is set up an unrealistic sexpectation. And gents, please don't make it your "mission" to turn your gal into a geyser. It's okay to give it the ol' college try, but know when to give up.

Some women squirt across the bed, others barely trickle, still others find G-spot stimulation so painful or annoying that they never get far enough to find out, and many may not have the kind of equipment that would allow them to ejaculate at all. And that's okay. But seeing as we're always being asked how to make it happen, we thought we'd at least tell you how to try.

So, without further ado, you'll find our top ten tips for nurturing your inner female ejaculator, after the jump.

1. Go

Lego Cupid















Advice from three of EMandLO.com's guy friends. This week they answer the following: "Do guys know when they're in love?" To ask the guys your own question, click here. Do you agree with them? Disagree violently? Let us know below!

Single Straight Guy (Colin Adamo of Hooking Up & Staying Hooked): Not always. I think we spend a lot of time debating and turning this question over and over in our own heads as soon as we're in a serious relationship (or even the first couple of weeks with a really exciting new partner). In some cases we may not recognize it until it's too late. Other times we jump to conclusions and let out those three words when we shouldn't. Sometimes the best thing that can happen to us is having friends and family give us that little push and point out that we are, in fact, in love.

Married Straight Guy (Irad Eyal ofSexdegrees.net): Yes. No! Why is she here all the time? I think guys know when they're in love, but they're instantly terrified by the implications. At

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Dear Dr. Vanessa,

I went to the gynecologist the other day and she said she could tell (during the internal examination) that I hadn't been doing my kegels (I had a kid a few years back). Is this really true? Also, if I do start doing kegels, is it something I'll need to do every day for the rest of my life, or is it something that you can do for a while to "get back in shape" and then stop doing?

- Elastica

Dear E,

Yes, your gynecologist would be able to tell if your pelvic floor muscles are weak. There are several ways we can test the strength of a woman's pelvic floor muscles. Your doctor may have placed fingers in your vagina and then asked you to squeeze down on them. Or she may have asked you to cough or bear down as she examined the outside of your vagina (your vulva), and noticed urine leakage.

The good news is that Kegel exercises are effective. They strengthen the pelvic floor muscles that support the rectum, vagina, and bladder. As your doctor

men who kegel














Regular kegel exercises are a way to bond with your penis - and who couldn't benefit from more QT with his johnson? The more adept you become at isolating these muscles (and flexing them at will), the more aware you'll be of what's going on right before and during orgasm (beyond the usual "holy crap, that feels good!"). You'll also have more control over your number one guy. Of course, by "control" we mean that while he'll always be in the driver's seat, he might actually listen to your directions every now and then.

Targeting the Muscle Group

What works for the chicks works for the d*cks: next time you're on a tinkle break, stop the flow of pee for a few seconds. (Or, if you've got a good imagination, pretend you're holding it right now.) Feel those internal muscles you're contracting? Good - those are your pelvic muscles. Just make sure that you're not tensing your butt or abs at the same time. Once you know where those muscles live, don't be literally stopping the flow

Luna beadsNot only do defined pelvic muscles improve your sex life, they can also increase vaginal lubrication, make labor easier ("ease" being a relative concept there), prevent urinary incontinence (especially after giving birth), and help protect against prolapse of the uterus (a nasty condition, either inherited or caused by a series of tough childbirths, where the uterus pretty much just falls down into the vagina). The exercises can also help restore vaginal muscle tone after childbirth, for a tighter fit during sex. And a good strong pelvic floor can help make your G-spot more sensitive, thanks to increased blood flow in the pelvic arena. In addition to making orgasms easier to achieve (even multiple ones), regular kegels can improve any sexual activity where control (and, more importantly, the ability to relinquish control) is a factor -- for example, female ejaculation.

Targeting the Muscle Group

Next time you're on a tinkle break, stop the flow of pee for a few seconds. (Or,

woman riding bikeWe all know we're supposed to do them... and they SHOULD be easy to do, right? After all, we can do them while we're driving or reading a book or standing on line at the supermarket or in a meeting with our boss. But how many of us DO actually do them daily while we're going about our daily lives?

Do you do them daily? Weekly? Monthly? Whenever a post like this reminds you that you should? Never? Or do you just plain not believe in Kegels? Let us know below, and click here to take a poll and see how you rank amongst our readers.

MORE FROM EM and LO:
-- A Guide to All the Toys in "50 Shades of Grey"
-- Did You Know That Men Can Kegel Too?
-- Everything You Wanted to Know About Kegels But Were Too Lazy to Ask

Etherea Silk Cuffs by Lelo















Say what you will about the literary merit of E.L. James's Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, but you can't deny the sexual curiosity they've ignited, the sexual knowledge they've imparted and the sexual delight they've given, where most readers are concerned. The result has been a boon for the sex toy industry, thanks to all the props Christian Grey has in his museum chest in the Red Room of Pain. Here's a review of some of the items you too can procure to live out your Ana fantasies, from mild to hardcore:

Blindfolds - As Christian knows, you dampen one or two senses, it heightens the rest, particular your sense of touch. In the trilogy, they use an airline sleeping mask, which we're all for. But come on, billionaire Grey has to steal the in-flight paraphernalia for his kinky fuckery? Not buying it. More plausible would be an elegant silk number like the Intima, perhaps in red to match the blood red walls of his upstairs dungeon. If you need to improvise, scarves work well -