Blog Posts by EMandLO.com

Lego Cupid















Advice from three of EMandLO.com's guy friends. This week they answer the following: "Do guys know when they're in love?" To ask the guys your own question, click here. Do you agree with them? Disagree violently? Let us know below!

Single Straight Guy (Colin Adamo of Hooking Up & Staying Hooked): Not always. I think we spend a lot of time debating and turning this question over and over in our own heads as soon as we're in a serious relationship (or even the first couple of weeks with a really exciting new partner). In some cases we may not recognize it until it's too late. Other times we jump to conclusions and let out those three words when we shouldn't. Sometimes the best thing that can happen to us is having friends and family give us that little push and point out that we are, in fact, in love.

Married Straight Guy (Irad Eyal ofSexdegrees.net): Yes. No! Why is she here all the time? I think guys know when they're in love, but they're instantly terrified by the implications. At

woman on the beach













Dear Dr. Vanessa,

I went to the gynecologist the other day and she said she could tell (during the internal examination) that I hadn't been doing my kegels (I had a kid a few years back). Is this really true? Also, if I do start doing kegels, is it something I'll need to do every day for the rest of my life, or is it something that you can do for a while to "get back in shape" and then stop doing?

- Elastica

Dear E,

Yes, your gynecologist would be able to tell if your pelvic floor muscles are weak. There are several ways we can test the strength of a woman's pelvic floor muscles. Your doctor may have placed fingers in your vagina and then asked you to squeeze down on them. Or she may have asked you to cough or bear down as she examined the outside of your vagina (your vulva), and noticed urine leakage.

The good news is that Kegel exercises are effective. They strengthen the pelvic floor muscles that support the rectum, vagina, and bladder. As your doctor

men who kegel














Regular kegel exercises are a way to bond with your penis - and who couldn't benefit from more QT with his johnson? The more adept you become at isolating these muscles (and flexing them at will), the more aware you'll be of what's going on right before and during orgasm (beyond the usual "holy crap, that feels good!"). You'll also have more control over your number one guy. Of course, by "control" we mean that while he'll always be in the driver's seat, he might actually listen to your directions every now and then.

Targeting the Muscle Group

What works for the chicks works for the d*cks: next time you're on a tinkle break, stop the flow of pee for a few seconds. (Or, if you've got a good imagination, pretend you're holding it right now.) Feel those internal muscles you're contracting? Good - those are your pelvic muscles. Just make sure that you're not tensing your butt or abs at the same time. Once you know where those muscles live, don't be literally stopping the flow

Luna beadsNot only do defined pelvic muscles improve your sex life, they can also increase vaginal lubrication, make labor easier ("ease" being a relative concept there), prevent urinary incontinence (especially after giving birth), and help protect against prolapse of the uterus (a nasty condition, either inherited or caused by a series of tough childbirths, where the uterus pretty much just falls down into the vagina). The exercises can also help restore vaginal muscle tone after childbirth, for a tighter fit during sex. And a good strong pelvic floor can help make your G-spot more sensitive, thanks to increased blood flow in the pelvic arena. In addition to making orgasms easier to achieve (even multiple ones), regular kegels can improve any sexual activity where control (and, more importantly, the ability to relinquish control) is a factor -- for example, female ejaculation.

Targeting the Muscle Group

Next time you're on a tinkle break, stop the flow of pee for a few seconds. (Or,

woman riding bikeWe all know we're supposed to do them... and they SHOULD be easy to do, right? After all, we can do them while we're driving or reading a book or standing on line at the supermarket or in a meeting with our boss. But how many of us DO actually do them daily while we're going about our daily lives?

Do you do them daily? Weekly? Monthly? Whenever a post like this reminds you that you should? Never? Or do you just plain not believe in Kegels? Let us know below, and click here to take a poll and see how you rank amongst our readers.

MORE FROM EM and LO:
-- A Guide to All the Toys in "50 Shades of Grey"
-- Did You Know That Men Can Kegel Too?
-- Everything You Wanted to Know About Kegels But Were Too Lazy to Ask

Etherea Silk Cuffs by Lelo















Say what you will about the literary merit of E.L. James's Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, but you can't deny the sexual curiosity they've ignited, the sexual knowledge they've imparted and the sexual delight they've given, where most readers are concerned. The result has been a boon for the sex toy industry, thanks to all the props Christian Grey has in his museum chest in the Red Room of Pain. Here's a review of some of the items you too can procure to live out your Ana fantasies, from mild to hardcore:

Blindfolds - As Christian knows, you dampen one or two senses, it heightens the rest, particular your sense of touch. In the trilogy, they use an airline sleeping mask, which we're all for. But come on, billionaire Grey has to steal the in-flight paraphernalia for his kinky fuckery? Not buying it. More plausible would be an elegant silk number like the Intima, perhaps in red to match the blood red walls of his upstairs dungeon. If you need to improvise, scarves work well -

Lucy's advice booth

















Advice from three of EMandLO.com's guy friends. This week they answer the following: "What's the best advice you've ever been given about relationships?" To ask the guys your own question, click here.

Single Straight Guy (Scott Phrenetik): "Make sure she's happy." Every woman is different and there are a myriad of ways to accomplish this, but by far the best relationship advice I've been given.

Married Straight Guy (Ben D.): Best advice I've been given is, would you set your sister or cousin up with someone like you? If the answer is no, then why would anyone else want to date you?

Single Gay Guy (Abraham Zeus Zapata): "Expectations lead to resentments, and when you allow people to just be themselves, the relationship can really grow." RuPaul said that.

MORE FROM EM and LO:
-- Will a Guy Get Bored If His Girlfriend or Wife Can't Climax?
-- Can Avoiding Orgasms Improve Your Love Life?
-- How "50 Shades of Grey" Is Increasing Sex Toy Sales

Our "wise guys" are a rotating group of

Grand Central ceilingaries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
Love and money will go hand in hand this week. Of course, you should never rule out spending time with someone who interests you intellectually. But this week, we think you're going to find yourself in the fortunate position of not having to answer the following question: Was it love, or was it the jet plane to Paris for a private eight-course candle-lit dinner at the top of the Eiffel Tower?

taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
You know those people who seem oh-so-casual and relaxed about hooking up and hanging out with you, so much so that they're willing to go along with just about anything without much fuss? Chances are they aren't casual and relaxed at all, but rather enamored and whipped! When you're not that interested, it's easy to underestimate how interested others actually are in you. One person's meaningless fling is another person's beginning of a beautiful relationship. Make sure the people in your immediate sexual circle all say