In a wonderful post called "The Questions That Will Save Your Relationships," Glennon Melton writes of the difference between empty questions -- How was your day? How are you? What's up? -- and conversation-fueled questions -- When did you feel loved today? What can I do to help you right now? Most people, she writes, just don't know how to answer the empty variety, so these questions become conversation enders that sound like this:
How was your day?
How are you?
Conversational enders are like a drive-by conversation. We walk into a room, we randomly toss out a question, and we don't even wait for a response. We've already lost our focus before the person responding says, "Fine" or "Nothing." They function like filler, and we resort to them because we're uncomfortable with the alternative: silence.
Conversation starters, on the other hand, warm people up and get them talking.Read More »from Why a Little Awkward Silence Can Be Good for Your Relationship