After years of disappointing relationships and unfulfilling casual sex, Hephzibah Anderson decided to give up sex for one year. The experience expanded her notion of what it means to be sensual, and helped her realize that being a "liberated" woman includes being honest about what you want from sex. I chatted with Hephzibah about her chaste year, which she writes about in her new book Chastened: The Unexpected Story of My Year Without Sex, and she provided some life lessons we can all consider without having to give up sex ourselves.
TrèsSugar: Why do you think the sex you were having disappointed you?
Hephzibah Anderson: It was unsatisfying because these guys weren't looking for what I was looking for. They weren't looking for any serious relationship, which meant that they were withholding on an emotional level. And I didn't feel secure enough to let on what I needed and I didn't feel confident enough to say that there needed to be an emotional component. I felt that the kind of sex
Blog Posts by POPSUGAR Love & Sex
After years of disappointing relationships and unfulfilling casual sex, Hephzibah Anderson decided to give up sex for one year. The experience expanded her notion of what it means to be sensual, and helped her realize that being a "liberated" woman includes being honest about what you want from sex. I chatted with Hephzibah about her chaste year, which she writes about in her new book Chastened: The Unexpected Story of My Year Without Sex, and she provided some life lessons we can all consider without having to give up sex ourselves.Read More »from Unexpected Lessons From a Year Without Sex
Eighty percent of women have faked an orgasm, according to a new study. While it only asked 71 women, the study made up in depth what it lacked in breadth.Read More »from Why Do You Fake Orgasms?
Researchers broke down sex noises into categories, such as "silence," "moan/groan," "scream/shriek/squeal," "words" (such as "yes," "more," or a partner's name). They followed up by asking women why they made each noise, and it rarely had anything to do with orgasms. Most of the time women were faking sounds to influence or, in the study's words, "manipulate" partners, but not necessarily in a devious way. In short, they wanted to speed things up.
Gayle Brewer of the University of Central Lancashire in England said "boredom, fatigue, discomfort," and "time limitations" were all reasons women artificially enhance the moment. Sound about right to you? Remember, you can log out to comment anonymously if you want!
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Over the years, I've heard many honeymoon horror stories, from missing flights to food poisoning, making even a well-intentioned, relaxing trip an adventure. Traveling to far-off destinations always has its risks, but it's especially discouraging when you're trying to have a blissful, romantic trip abroad. Whether it was lost baggage, a natural disaster, shoplifted goods, illnesses of an intimate nature, or even infidelity, did your honeymoon have some hiccups? Or did it go off without a hitch?Read More »from Was Your Honeymoon Perfect or Problematic?
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Where Would You Go on Your Honeymoon?
The Feeling of Romantic Love
Group Therapy: Dating For 3 Months, but No GF Title
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- POPSUGAR Love & Sex | Love + Sex – Wed, Jun 30, 2010 10:51 PM EDT
As teen girls and grown women run to see Eclipse today, what messages about sex and gender will the third installment of the Twilight saga send them? I asked myself this during an early screening of the movie, and while you might expect the wait-until-marriage message from an author with a Mormon background, some of Eclipse's love lessons do surprise. If you haven't read the book, my observations will spoil the story, so keep reading at your own risk.
A man must protect a woman's virtue: "Stop trying to take your clothes off," Edward says midway through the movie. He's a traditional vampire, so he wants to marry Bella before they do the dangerous deed. Bella, on the other hand, is a modern-day Eve who couldn't care less about saving her soul. If the conservative message of the movie gets teen girls to think twice about having sex when they're not ready, that's great. But I could do without the implication that a woman will be damned for tasting the forbidden fruit of sexRead More »from Eclipse of the Heart: Sex According to the Latest Twilight
- POPSUGAR Love & Sex | Love + Sex – Wed, Jun 30, 2010 10:44 PM EDT
Yesterday 25-year-old Prince Harry made headlines when he fell from his horse during a polo match in New York. But it was all for a good cause - the proceeds go straight to his charity Sentebale to help orphans.Anything that knocks the princes off their thrones is great news for us commoners, though. Even if one is very close to being engaged. So if you had to choose your prince charming, would it be Harry or William?
Across the pond, though, his older brother, 28-year-old Prince William, had an embarrassing moment of his own. That is if finding yourself without money at a mini-mart in North Wales and a basket full of snacks while the shopkeeper exclaims "Oh my God! You're Prince William, aren't you?" and security cameras roll (photos were posted by the British press, but have since been removed) is embarrassing.
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I love the communal experience of commuting. Whether it's to find yourself sitting across from a man lamenting how he just got out of prison only to learn another county has a warrant out for his arrest (Friday), or for the possibility of meeting a non-ex-convict.
Craigslist New York analyzed its Missed Connections to name the L train the ride with the "best odds of a fellow passenger falling for you across a crowded car or platform, and then posting a 'Missed Connections' ad on Craigslist in search of you." A real honor! Years ago, on the same train, my friend once watched a girl hand a guy her number as she exited. My friend then asked if he intended to call her. "I kind of have to, don't I?" he asked (himself).
There's definitely an allure to meeting on public transportation. A feeling of destiny - of all the lines, of all the trains, of all the cars, you had to step into mine. The train itself is like a metaphor for the closing door of opportunity, and maybe that's whatRead More »from The Allure of the Public Transportation Crush
We know why humans are infatuated with vampires, but why do vampires return the obsession? There's, of course, the practical reason - vampires need human blood to live. Yet what drives vampires not to drink a woman to death? Oddly enough, I'd say the reasons are very human.
- Fleeting: A human's lifespan is hardly more than a long night to a vampire, so you can imagine how fleeting youth seems. We all want what we can't have, or can't have for very long. Whether it's a fleeting Summer or a fleeting life, transience is hot.
- Human nature: In last week's True Blood, Eric says to Sookie when she's crying, "Please don't do that. It makes me feel disturbingly human." And we know - as if we didn't already - he's bitten. Vampires either try to preserve their humanity (Bill Compton, Edward Cullen) or suppress it (Eric Northman and Twilight's James), so is it any surprise they want to date it?
- Psychic bond: Bonds are intense - whether they're between humans,
- POPSUGAR Love & Sex | Love + Sex – Tue, Jun 22, 2010 11:14 PM EDT
More than 65 percent of you had sex on your wedding night. That's more than half, but the 35 percent of you who didn't suggest that it's not easy to get busy after an exhausting day. Based on your comments on our poll, I found a few tips to help brides seal the deal.
- Don't worry about having the best sex ever. spacekatgal explained that although she had sex: "I was exhausted. Non-exhausted sex came later."
- Don't wait till the end. skigurl said: "Leaving quietly, doing it, and returning would have been okay as well. I don't think any couple should have to apologize for wanting a tiny bit of alone time during the most important day of their lives. But have a little respect and class!"
- Get creative. Weffie would consider "taking off to a closet or bathroom for a quickie - I mean, I've done it at other people's weddings, why not my own?"
- Obstacles are meant to be overcome, as nonamepixie demonstrated: "Between being on my period and being completely exhausted I didn't want
After nearly a year-and-a-half engagement, Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen reportedly are taking a month break to decide if they should stay together or not. Taking breaks, to either be alone or be with other people, seems to be a popular, if controversial, answer to relationship troubles lately, but knowing when a relationship is over is rarely clear in foresight. While we gave you our 10 signs a relationship is over and reasons to not take a break and break up, every person and relationship is different. How have you known it was over?Read More »from How Do You Know a Relationship Is Over?
Where Do You Stand? Taking a Break in the Beginning of a Relationship
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Marriage is rewarded with gifts and tax breaks and shared health insurance. The pooling of resources makes it easier to rent a nicer apartment, buy a house, and even travel. Directly and indirectly, we are told marriage will make you happy, but will it? A happy marriage does a lot for health, wealth, and personal fulfillment. One study found it's as stabilizing as earning over $100,000 a year and the health equivalent of quitting smoking, but an unhappy marriage undoes all that and then some. Here are five myths that can challenge even the most promising marriages.
- Love is all you need: While it's certainly a prerequisite, it won't get you much farther than the altar. Communication, shared values, tolerance, realistic expectations, commitment, and kindness are just a few requirements for a good marriage.
- You complete each other: Complementing each other is definitely a benefit of a good relationship, but expecting another person to make up your shortcomings is an