Blog Posts by Smitten, Glamour Magazine

By Anna Breslaw, Glamour magazine

For instance: If you've only studied him from afar, through a convenient patch of shrubbery, you're probably not his girlfriend.

Among the nuggets of wisdom in Chris Rock's '99 jam "No Sex (In The Champagne Room)"--"Take off that silly a*s hat" being perhaps the wisest--he says: "If you've been dating a man for four months, and you haven't met any of his friends, you are not his girlfriend."

See more: The Top 10 Ways to Wake Up Prettier

Yup, pretty good indication. But if you're still not sure whether or not the guy you've been seeing for awhile has decided you're exclusive without having a conversation--unlikely!--here are some other ways to detect that you're not quite there yet.

1. He only talks to you after 11 pm.
2. He doesn't know whether you have siblings, or how many.
3. When you try to make him jealous by telling him how cool the other guy you're dating is, he shows genuine interest in befriending

By John Ortved Marder, Glamour magazine

For some of us, just figuring out what to do on Valentine's Day can be stressful. For others, the problem lies in what to give. How do you buy something for someone that isn't a cliché? My answer: you don't. You buy them nothing. The best Valentine's gifts are created. They're also naughty, thoughtful and much better than any box of chocolates.

Sexy Note
Can't afford a sexy boat? Write him a sexy note. If this were the 1950s you could place it in his lunchbox as he went off to work, but unless you have access to a time machine (and if you, you really should be using your it to right human rights wrongs, not performing your romantic experiments) leaving it somewhere where he'll stumble on to it. Maybe it can be something instructive, tied around your neck or waist with string. Maybe it can be delivered to his work. It could be a command ("get your clothes off so I can…"), a question ("will you spank me?"), an instruction

By Ariane Marder, Glamour magazine

The serial dater acts like dating is his job. Apparently online dating sites are chock full of these peeps. I wouldn't know; I was too busy seeking these guys out in real life. I like to refer to it as The Dark Period Called My Twenties.

Serial daters are never ready to settle down. They like the chase, and once they have you in their web (or bed), then BAM, they're out like proverbial trout.

See more: The Top 10 Ways to Wake Up Prettier

Here are 6 signs to be on the lookout for:

1. He's a bachelor for life. He's Clooney-esque, but likely not as good looking. The longest relationship he's had is two years, and then he breaks it off using some lame excuse that wouldn't hold up at the post office.

2. He charms the panties off of you--literally. As in, once you sleep with him, he's not as "into" you as he once was. Even coffee together the next morning takes on a dark pallor.

3. His eyes gloss over when you

By Anna Breslaw, Glamour magazine

OK, we all know about chocolate, oysters and maybe even chocolate oysters. But some of these new libido-boosting foods are legit weird. Artichokes?

USA Today asked a licensed dietician for a list of recommended noshes to get your sex on. Here's what she came up with.

• Chocolate

• Oysters
  

• Strawberries, almonds, garlic, avocados and figs, and, according to ancient Rome, anything else "shaped like ovaries."

See more: The Top 10 Ways to Wake Up Prettier

• Asparagus! I love asparagus! Besides the green veggie overall benefit, it contains a sexual desire-cranking chemical called protodioscin.

• Artichokes. When eaten raw by the ancient Egyptians, it was said to have improved sexual prowess and fertility.

• Cumin. Mixed with black pepper and honey, ancient Middle Eastern men drank it as a natural stimulant.

• Coriander/cilantro. Might be why Tex-Mex is my go-to date restaurant genre--and supposedly a fertility

By John Ortved, Glamour magazine

I know what you're thinking: He's just going to write "oral" six times, because that's all guys really want on V-day. And you're partially right. I could do that and not think twice about it. But my friends actually surprised me with what they really wanted come February 14. Have a look; they might surprise you, too:

"I'm never sure what the right thing is to do. Part of me wants to take her somewhere super fancy, do flowers and the whole bit. Another part of me knows that's cliché and lame and wants to cook a nice dinner at home. This year, I'm involved in something pretty new, so I don't want to stress anybody out (particularly me). I'm getting takeout from one of the best sushi places in town, picking it up after work, setting it up with candles in my apartment, and then inviting her over for 'a drink'. I think she'll dig it. You think she will?"
--Jacques, graphic designer, 28

See more: The Top 10 Ways to Wake Up Prettier

"I

By Anna Breslaw, Glamour magazine

This reader's dilemma a few days ago got me thinking about how much more frequently I'm the hater BFF than the girlfriend. Or, let's put it this way: I'm always the Judy Greer, never the Jennifer Lopez.

See more: The Top 10 Ways to Wake Up Prettier

Anyway, I've been having a hard time dealing with my friend's boyfriend lately. We got off to an OK start, but it's becoming increasingly clear that the dude is sort of a complete juicebox. So, on behalf of the pissy BFF, here are some reasons your female friends may dislike your boyfriend.

He makes you sad. Derp. If he's treating you bad, we're not gonna act like that's OK.

He thinks his ish don't stink. Acting "over" everything is not the way to endear yourself to people.

He says negative things about me to her even though they'll doubtlessly get back to me. Ah! What? After a poorly-executed slip by my best friend at an eyebrow waxing place, now I know I'm "the kind of girl

Condé Nast Digital StudioBy Ariane Marder, Glamour magazine

I'm so into pasta that if I'm at a restaurant and I can't decide between two pasta entrees, I will order one as an appetizer and one as a main coarse. No, I will not ask the waiter if they have an appetizer size. I think that's annoying (and I don't want either of the pastas to feel inadequate). This habit of mine leaves me very sated, but hardly eager for a roll in the hay afterwards. I'm really not the best person to ask about sexy foods; however, my friends have some much better notions:

See more: The Top 10 Ways to Wake Up Prettier

"I think it is probably an old wive's tale, but raw fish, especially oysters, really get me in the mood. Mussels, too. This does not translate to sushi. If you're having sushi and just eating sashimi, then cool, but chances are you're having pieces of sushi with rice, as well as tempura, etc. The rice has a huge amount of sugar in it, as does the tempura, which is also deep fried. After you eat that stuff you just

Condé Nast Digital StudioBy Ariane Marder, Glamour magazine

Usually, New Year's resolutions are a personal thing, but have you ever wondered what your guy would want you to do differently in the upcoming year? Glamour asked men what resolutions they wish you'd make in 2012. And they didn't hold back!

See more: The Top 10 Ways to Wake Up Prettier

1. "I'd like it if in 2012, women would stop chatting on the phone, checking their teeth in the rearview mirror, flipping their hair and drinking coffee-all while driving."
-Umberto, 29, Monroe, Conn.

2. "I wish my girl's New Year's resolution would be to take herself less seriously when I ask her to do fun things to spice up our lives. Why can't we have a little harmless fun?"
-Jon, 25, Studio City, Calif.

3. "I want my wife to stop adding to the degree of difficulty in life. She just can't say no to people, which means she gets overwhelmed. In other words, I want my wife to be more selfish and do more for herself. She deserves it!"
-Josh, 34, Jacksonville,