Blog Posts by The_Stir

Married and single ladies, come. Don't be shy. Come join me by this roaring fire and let's have a little chat. Put on your softest socks, cuddle up in that oversized chair with a cup of tea, and put on your brave face, for I am about to tell you a cautionary tale that starts in the Great White North.

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It's not a happy tale, ladies, so let me get right to the point. There is a man in Canada who vacations with a life-sized doll while his wife sits at home -- in denial.

Let's discuss.

You're among friends here. You're safe. We'll review the facts and then we'll talk it out. If some of you need to throw up, that's why I've positioned those dark-green buckets next to your chairs. Just lean over and vomit. It's cool. No one will judge.

His name is Dave Hockey. He looks like your dad, and if you're Canadian, you might want to make sure he isn't. He wears glasses, has gray hair, and wears a baseball hat when he

raw chickenI don't have a problem with chicken. But raw chicken tends to skeeve me out, because it's so slimy and icky. And, now we have yet another reason to be afraid of it.

Food safety officials in the United Kingdom are reporting that 40 percent of raw chicken packages are crawling with bacteria called campylobacter that causes food poisoning -- on the outside of the wrapping!

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Are you digesting what this means? It means, quite simply, that you are more likely to get sick from handling an unopened package of chicken in the supermarket than you are from actually handling the raw meat. Scary!

And your chances of food-borne illness are further increased if a contaminated package touches such things as, say, your reusable grocery bag or other items in your refrigerator. *Retch*

Now, a few things must be said about this new study, which is the first to test packaging versus the actual meat: For one thing, it only looked at 20

thermostat heaterYou're just sitting there innocently cozied up on the couch: cup of hot tea in hand, fire roaring nearby, a heavy throw in your lap. There are no cookies or chips around. No snacks to be seen. But there you go and gain weight anyway. What's the problem?

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Well, according to a new study, that weight gain might be a direct result of all that heat, specifically the increased indoor temperatures not only at home, but also in the car, at work, and many of the places you spend your time in the winter.

The new study claims a direct link between "reduced exposure to seasonal cold and increases in obesity in the UK and U.S."

The study even

tacoFake purses used to be a consumer's biggest purchasing problem, but lately it seems buyers need to beware of fake food. No stomach is safe. From fast food to seemingly wholesome food, over and over the cover is being blown on what we think we're eating.

This week Taco Bell has been front and center on the fake food stage. The indigestion was ignited by a lawsuit claiming Taco Bell's "beef" was only 36 percent beef, which leaves a whole lot of room for non-beef ... stuff. A few rejoiced at the news, but it left many more rethinking their run for the border.

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Taco Bell stands firm that their "beef" is actually beef, well, at least 88 percent of it is. The rest of it is a bunch of seasonings and spices. In a statement on the company's website, President Greg Creed took all the taco-hatred to task and issued a spicy statement:

Lindsay LohanWhen my friend Jessica told me she was getting Botox, I thought she was joking. At 27, what did she need that for? Jess defended herself with phrases like "preventative" and "self-confidence" and "everyone's doing it," but I wasn't convinced.

Then I found this article by Eva Wiseman for the Guardian that made an excellent observation.

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Wiseman claims that a 36-year-old face is becoming year-zero for women. While in the past women over 40 have gotten Botox or fillers to look younger, plastic surgeons are now noticing a trend for women under 30 who get Botox to look ..."done." So 50-year-olds are looking 36, and 20-year-olds are looking 36.

Are we going to be an expressionless, plastic mass of former women, wandering the streets with lips thicker than footballs and foreheads tighter than a new pair of Spanx?

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If the trend continues, then yes, yes

Valentine's Day sex should be hot, raw, and orgasmic.

Just like in the movies. Like Ryan Gosling going down on Michelle Williams in Blue Valentine.

Actually, sex should be like that a lot of the time.

It's not cliche to make a big deal out of having sex on Valentine's Day with your paramour. You're supposed to celebrate the one you love -- and having sex is a very non-Hallmark way to do it.

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Here are some ideas for a sexy Valentine's Day. Do something different in the bedroom. No chocolates necessary, no gifts of jewelry, and no red lacy lingerie. Just the two of you. And maybe some red satin sheets ...

• Go for primal sex, even animalistic. Forget the dainty, red teddy. Wear some sexy leopard print lingerie or a tightly trussed leather corset.
• Go ahead and be the aggressor. Set up a scenario in your head of how you want the evening to go, then be in charge and tell him what to do and how to

A very disturbing study for pet-lovers is being published in the CDC journal next month that says your dog or cat can make you sick with lethal diseases if you let them into your bed. Even more so if you kiss your dog, or let your cat lick you. Or all three. (Which, really, come on now, you know that's not sanitary.)

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In fact, snuggling up to your dog can give you MRSA, as it did one couple who kept getting the potentially deadly, and decidedly unpleasant, infection before the dog cuddling was found to blame.

Even though it's rare, the veterinary scientists behind this study realize more and more people are sleeping with their pets, so they wanted to ring the alarm that some people can get seriously ill by close contact with their dogs. And cats are even worse.

For example, a 9-year-old boy in Arizona got the plague from sleeping with his cat, who was flea-infested. Fleas being one of the most

Pregnant New Yorkers may be entitled to free parking, thanks to New York City Councilman David Greenfield (D-Brooklyn). Yep. Special privileges for the maternity set in a city that has people who don't often offer up their subway seat for pregnant women.

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Greenfield's proposal, in theory, is pretty rad. Women who are having "difficult pregnancies" could park for free in no-parking or no-standing zones with a note from their doctor. The rule would even give them a cushion of 30 days after their due dates, just in case those ladies deliver late or have postpartum recovery challenges.

The story has already brought out plenty of commenting haters, with 56 percent of polled Daily News readers saying there isn't enough parking as it is.

Now, I could see parking lots in the suburbs having this policy, but let's focus on the real problem: pregnant commuters standing on buses and subway trains. This happens every day,