Blog Posts by The_Stir

When kids hit a certain age, there are days when it seems like "no" is the only word that comes out of your mouth. "No, you can't eat the cat's food," "No, that will break," "No, you can't draw on the wall."

A couple things happen at that point. You get bogged down in all that negativity, the word starts to lose some of its power, and eventually your child starts repeating it right back to you.

Then you'll never get rid of it!

One mom in the Old Fashioned & Anti Mainstream Moms group on CafeMom is looking for alternatives to the word "no" for her 1-year old.

"I tend to over-talk (Bobo, we don't touch the table cloth because all the stuff will fall down and Bobo will get hurt"). So we usually go with the less wordy "no" and redirection, but I'm looking for other words to get the point across."

Fellow moms say these terms work equally well with their toddlers:

• Stop
• Don't touch
• Stay away
• Uh-uh
• Ouch
• Be gentle

Michael Jackson's death has me thinking I should hurry up and name a legal guardian for my daughter just in case both me and my husband die. According to news reports, Michael Jackson's mom has legal custody of his three children; if she dies, then Diana Ross will take custody of Jackson's kids.

My husband and I will be the guardians of my sister's three kids in case something should happen to her and her husband. We will also be the guardians of my brother-in-law's daughter if he and his wife should die.

It's pretty heavy stuff.

I know we should name a guardian for our daughter and that we should definitely put it in writing so there are no questions as to who "gets" her, but thinking about dying and our baby living without us is too depressing.

We've talked about it a little, but we've found it hard to come up with a choice we both feel comfortable with.

Have you named a legal guardian for your baby in the event of your death? How did you make the decision?

I always say I wish I could go back and relive the days with my newborn babies all over again - so precious and sweet and tiny, that time period so short! - but I want to relive all that MINUS the giving birth part. Someone else can take care of that in my relived fantasy. LOL.

Along with my husband and the support of family, friends, and the pizza delivery guy, I do remember three specific items that I could *NOT* have lived without in my first week postpartum.

My Three Must-Have Postpartum Supplies:

1. Ice diapers: Did those of you who had vaginal births at the hospital get those amazing ice packs for your undies right after delivery? After the birth of my first child, I was dealing with a pretty bad tear, so crotch-fitting ice packs, for me, were like gifts from God in heaven. Once they moved me to recovery, however, they made the shift to ice diapers (cheaper, I guess), but they were heavenly just the same. To make them at home, just add water to the crotch of a

I was amused to read that parents in the New York area are bringing their kids to a free day care service offered at furniture store IKEA-even if they aren't shopping for furniture! Some say it's a relaxing "date night" for them and their spouse: They can relax on the couches for 45 minutes while their kids have fun in the day care center.

This reminds me of a story a friend of mine told me the other day. Her gym offers free day care as part of the monthly membership fee. Although she (obviously) adores her 2-year-old, sometimes she will go to the gym-even if she doesn't feel like working out!-just to have a 30-minute break from her daughter.

Obviously, parents love their kids, but it seems that sometimes they need an escape plan, if only for a few minutes.

I'm wondering how common these free day care services are in most areas. I know of a few grocery stores, retail stores, health clubs, gyms, and churches that offer free day care services to customers/members.

Do you

I know a woman who dated when she was pregnant. She is successful, smart, and beautiful. While I don't know all the details of her story, I do know when she was pregnant with her twins she was single...and dating.

We live in NYC and it's hard enough to date here when you are 21 and drop-dead gorgeous. Well, she managed to do it while pregnant, and showing, and in her 30s -- all while supporting herself and managing a high profile, high level career.

She's my hero because she shows that women can do it all.

Her kids are now teens and she is happily married.

What do you think of single pregnant woman dating?

Written by MicheleZ for CafeMom's Pregnancy Buzz

Interesting article "How the recession is reshaping the American family" over on The Christian Science Monitor about changing gender roles, as a result of the economic recession.

Are you and your spouse's roles shifting in this tough financial downturn?

The American family is facing many hardships in what's called the worst recession since the 1930s. With widespread job loss, affecting twice as many men than women, many fathers are around the house more right now, which is making room for some household role shifts. Men who used to be the breadwinners are, by circumstance, taking on more housework, more childcare, and more of the day-to-day.

The article points out that while some laid off dads are unhappy taking on new or slightly shifting roles, others are trying to look on the bright side. While the financial hardship of job loss is real and grueling, these fathers also get to spend more time with their kids and families. Families are being pushed to live more

One of my friends asked me if she could bring her baby to my wedding-an evening cocktail party. I didn't say no, but I did say it probably wasn't the best place for a baby since it would be crowded and loud and noisy and late at night. She didn't bring the baby and our relationship hasn't been the same since. Now that I'm a mom, I still think it was wrong of her to ask. But I do wonder-when is it okay to ask if your baby is welcome at an event?

I always assume that my baby is not invited unless the party-giver specifically says she is. But this hasn't always worked out.

I've had my mom drive 250 miles to babysit for me, only to show up at a party (a late-night Mardi Gras bash) and find that everyone had brought their kids along.

Conversely, I've been invited to an early afternoon event to which the hostess has expressly invited kids. I showed up with my baby, who was the only non-adult there (aside from the hostess's baby who was upstairs with the nanny).

Don't get

A new study says that moms may love pretty babies more than others.

During the study, done by Mclean Hospital, 27 volunteers looked at images of babies on a computer screen-some were healthy and some had abnormal facial features. The volunteers could keep the image on the screen longer than the scheduled four seconds, or remove it early.

Both men and women kept the attractive babies on the screen, but women tended to shorten the viewing time of abnormal babies. While there are many reasons the women may have avoided the less attractive babies (feelings of empathy, sensitivity to the images, etc.) the researchers concluded that women are less inclined to gravitate toward a child with physical abnormalities.

All I know is that my daughter is gorgeous (aren't all babies?), and I love her to death.

Does a mother love a baby no matter what it looks like? Or do you think pretty babies get special treatment?

Written by Suzanne Murray for CafeMom's Baby Buzz