The thing is, nobody REALLY tells you about the hemorrhoids. I mean, sure, you might read something in the pregnancy books about swollen blood vessels, but there's nothing that truly prepares you for the day you go to the bathroom and make the Awful Discovery: somehow, you have a tiny balloon protruding from your butt. Possibly there's more than one. Possibly the entire colorful helium-filled cast of Up is suddenly emerging down there, because your body is a precious vessel carrying the miracle of life which apparently includes all sorts of unwanted things peeping out of your asshole.
More from The Stir: Natural Remedies Safe for All Your Pregnant Ailments
"Soak your bottom in a warm tub!" the books say. "Apply an ice pack!" What they don't say is 1) putting an ice pack on your sphincter is seriously unpleasant, and 2) things are only going to get worse. Much, MUCH worse.
The problem is that hemorrhoids are often brought on by having … ah, a Difficult Number Two. OfRead More »from The Most Disgusting, Uncomfortable, Humiliating Pregnancy Side Effect of All Time