Blog Posts by The_Stir

robert pattinson Yeah, yeah, yeah -- we all love and adore our husbands and all that jazz, but I think it's safe to say that most of us would be lying if we said we hadn't ever fantasized about being with a certain celebrity instead. It's totally okay to have celeb crushes, right? Aren't there even husbands and wives who have lists of famous people who they have a hall pass to hook up with if ever given the opportunity? Well, judging from a new poll, it looks as though there are plenty of women who aren't afraid to admit that they've dreamt about doing the dirty with a certain hunky Twilight star.

Because a whopping 64 percent of women said that if they had the choice, they would trade their husbands for Robert Pattinson. Can you blame them? Who wouldn't want to jump all over someone that mysterious and sexy, not to mention the whole vampire thing he's got going on. (C'mon -- you know you think Sparkles is hot.)

More from The Stir: Robert Pattinson in 'Bel Ami' Trailer Is Hotter Than Ever

There's not much hotter than really good porn. But watching it as a non-porn star can make even the most self-assured of us wonder what we're doing wrong -- and how we can be better in bed.

Here are some tips for how to perform like a porn star.

Porn stars have confidence. They know they're sexy and they're not afraid to flaunt it. So strap on your confidence and have at it. And if you can't slip into "I'm hot and I know it" mode easily, fake it 'til you make it.

More from The Stir: Why Women (Sometimes) Fake It

Porn stars have style. They're not trying to get all hot and bothered while wearing cat-puke-stained pants and an old T-shirt. Slip outta that and get on some lingerie and sexy undies before trying to get your groove thang on. If you don't own any, go and pick some up. Doesn't have to be expensive, either -- you can pick some up at Target on the cheap.

Porn stars take care of themselves. No, I'm not implying you need to hire a stylist, a waxer, a makeup

christina aguilera self tannerEver gone all morning with lipstick on your teeth, or attended a wedding with orange, self-tanned palms? Or maybe you've accidentally dyed your hair a shade of garbage, or used Nair where you shouldn't have and ended up with two giant blisters on the sides of your upper lip. At one point or another, most of us have experienced an embarrassing beauty blunder. But! We're not alone. Celebrities suffer from the same affliction -- it's just that when they make a mistake, it's immortalized on the Internet forever. I mean, the worst consequence we face after a makeup disaster is a morning spent untagging a million Facebook photos.

I know these stars are probably mortified by their beauty bloopers, but they make us regular old Josephinas feel better about ourselves because, somewhere along the way, we, too, have been there, done that. So these 5 stars should take comfort in the fact that women everywhere tooootally know how they feel.

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julia roberts ad banned by ASA in UKSome Arizona politicians may be known for having some out there views, but Democrat Representative Katie Hobbs doesn't sound like she fits in with the rest of the pack. At least not when it comes to her latest proposed bill for the state, which would require airbrushed ads created in Arizona to come with a warning. Something like, "This photo has been altered by post-production techniques. Similar results may not be achieved."

More from The Stir: Julia Roberts' Perfectly Imperfect Bikini Body Will Make You Love Yours (PHOTO)

While there's already coverage out there asserting that this is exactly the kind of overstepping government regulation that America doesn't need, it seems like something that certainly does more good than harm. Plus, they're already doing something similar in the U.K.!

Across the pond, Great Britain has the Advertising Standards Authority, which is an independent regulator of advertising, "ensuring ads are legal, decent, honest, and truthful by

I didn't want to tell you ...I remember when I was a teenager and I believed my mother didn't understand a thing about me. It seemed like she was so much older than me (decades upon decades, at least), and I was forever frustrated by how we were such entirely different people. Her younger years were nothing like my own, I was convinced of it. She had no idea what I was going through.

More from The Stir: 25 Ways You Know You're Such a Mother

Now, of course, I realize what a confused, angry, mixed-up, total pain in the ass I was back then. I also realize my mother was the same age when she had me as I was when I had my first child. I suppose it's possible that I'll reach a similar impasse with my own children someday, and if that happens, I hope it will help for them to know how utterly imperfect I was. How I will always remember what a difficult time it was to be a teen, and how-hopefully-they don't need to feel as though we are so very different.

To my teenage children:

If you feel lost and

Don't forget ouch One of the biggest fears women have about breastfeeding before they breastfeed is that it will hurt. We worry that our nipples are going to feel like they are being ripped off and it will be painful and we won't experience that bonding joy and incredible hormones that many say we will have. I was scared to breastfeed. Petrified! I overcame that and went on to breastfeed my twins for a year and a half, and would have kept going if they didn't self-wean. (I'm still heartbroken over that.)

More from The Stir: If A Military Mom Can Ship Breastmilk From Afghanistan, You Can Pump Too

But before I was all 'breastfeeding mama,' if I was leafing through a maternity magazine and saw this terrifying ad for nipple cream (after the jump) that basically says that my sweet little newborn is going to chew off my nipple and burp it back up, I know that wouldn't make me look forward to breastfeeding. See the ad for yourself ....

Breastfeeding ad

First of all, this mom has really strong arms. How is

If you believe romance novels, the only things that turn women on are long walks, moonlit meals, and sex by candlelight (Enya for the win!). In fact, women are so much more complicated than that.

A man may get turned on by the mere sight of his nude wife. Porn gets his engine revved in a hurry and, though many men also have unique turn-ons, we women tend to get fluffed about things that may SEEM mundane to the average eye.

More from The Stir: Agreeing With Your Husband Makes Your Marriage Boring

If you have ever seen a joke book on "porn for women" that includes men in aprons cooking dinner, then you know what I mean. We ladies have a host of seemingly mundane turn-ons that really get us going. In that spirit, here is a list of 11 mundane things that men do to drive us wild:

• Wash the dishes: This may be the ultimate female cliche, but it's so true. When your man gets sudsy and does it without being asked, it does put a lady in the mood.

• Take a work call:

NordstromPrinted pants have emerged as a bold spring trend from fashion's hottest designers -- but let's be honest:

Most of us don't have $600 on a trend that will likely be here today and gone tomorrow.

That means you have two options.

1. Skip this trend entirely.

2. Find some inexpensive copycat pants that keep the spirit of the expensive designer look without leading you to financial ruin.

More from The Stir: Camel Toe: Most Embarrassing Fashion Flub Fixed

If you want to opt for the latter choice this spring -- good news!

I've done the work for you and found some excellent printed pant options that will still allow you to pay your mortgage.

Bergdorf GoodmanBefore we get to your less-expensive options, let's take another look at a designer take on the trend. For just $250, these Milly printed pants from Bergdorf Goodman can be all yours!

J.CrewI'm not really sure how I feel about this look, but if I were to try it, I'd be partial to these Cafe Capris in floral taffeta